Marriage is not for everybody. Nor is having children. But once you decide to have them, you should try your best to give your best. Amidst of the craziness happening inside your head.

Children soak things like sponges.

Adults guide them to root their beliefs to the ground because as the children grow up, they will start seeing the many deviant things. New, exciting things.

It will become moments of





I get now why Allah said it is a big sin to kill people

I understand why love means different things to different people at a different time

Family – broken or not, you don’t get to choose your parents

You don’t know what your destiny is





Imagination is one of the best things for a human to possess. You get to create your utopia in your head. But when the utopia spills out from the barriers of the brain, insight and logic – you are what they call as crazy.


Camera crew skills

Anugerah Juara Lagu (AJL) was on air last week and a lot of people made comments about how poorly the show was recorded for a LIVE event. The camera was shaking, they captured irrelevant parts of the performance, images were not sharp etc. I didn’t watch the programme because there wasn’t anybody who I was rooting for to become the winner. I love Dayang but I can always listen to her wonderful songs on Spotify. However, I have watched AJL previously and I guess it is a recurring problem when it comes to watching the live show on television.

There is a glaring difference in quality when you’ve watched a BTS concert LIVE through your computer screen. I bet the view is more magnificent at the place itself as you could see their flawless faces on the huge screen. The experience of watching their concert is mindblowing even though you’re many miles apart. I began to appreciate the art and skills of the cameraman more having watched BTS. In fact, it’s not just BTS. Come to think of it, when you shoot K-pop groups, you need to employ a different technique/angle for the best results.

Indeed that was what I gathered when I watched a TWICE performance on an American talk show. The American crew doesn’t seem to know how to capture their choreography well. It made their performance seem bland with no personality. Not to mention, the audience at the talk show was also dull. If I was a TWICE member, I’d probably cry at the sight of a lifeless crowd. The silence was deafening.

In a way, this made me realize that the quality of your photo or video can project different meanings to those who perceive it and they are not always the best versions of what you intended to be in the first place. I have been procrastinating in my YT video editing lately because I was just not motivated. Ironically, I am studying Motivation this semester. I have a vision of wanting to capture my videos like haagrendal but it seems like too much work. Plus, I am not an aesthetic person. Maybe I should just go with the flow like ji hyun.

T h r e a t

Towards the end of last year, I came to realize that some people viewed me as a threat. Without me even trying. It’s one of those cliches people say on Instagram – they don’t LIKE you but still VIEW your stories. Why do I think as such? I wish I could explain it better but it’s a gut feeling thing I feel when it happens. The awkward silence and weird interactions – it’s just so ‘Ok, I get it’.

So I thought if I can become a threat without even trying, I wonder how much more ‘triggered’ other people would be if I actually tried. My best bet in ‘trying’ would be in consolidating my strengths, improving on my weaknesses and excelling in novel ventures, unique to my own lifestyle and values. I was very determined to work on this mission by December.

It is ongoing.

Itaewon tragedy

Perhaps the one thing I wanted to know about the Itaewon Tragedy is whether there was an organised gathering, a festival or a place where people gather together to have fun of their own accord. Meaning did people flock to Itaewon for Halloween because, at the same time, there was an organized event or did they go there because that was the place to celebrate Halloween.

I have to ponder on this question because it will explain why authoritative efforts to control or disperse the crowd were insufficient, late to almost non-existent.

A group of people wanted to have fun. Then, it became more groups of people having fun. A group of people decided to be mischievous in the name of having fun. Another group wanted to have just a little more alcohol to have fun. However, combining the different traits of the group in a packed area, being stuck, one would have no choice but to follow the rhythm. In a way, this tragedy also made me re-learn not to underestimate the power of hypoxia.

Hypoxia – lack of oxygen

Of how people can gasp for air beside you and you might not know. All of a sudden, the person just collapsed because they could not breathe. Honestly, the sight of seeing bystanders trying to perform CPR in the captured videos caught my attention. Of how short life is. One could have just uploaded themselves on social media showing that they’re having a good time. The next minute, you are on the floor with someone pressing on your chest trying to bring you back to life.

Itaewon is a tragedy because no one would expect so many YOUNG PEOPLE to lose their lives by being in a crowd. Dying not from the sharps of a knife or the impact of a bullet but just by being beside another human being with no weapons.