The nightmare felt real. The pain of losing a child was palpable.

This is another one of those dream diaries. I had this impression that I was staying in this big mansion with my family and that we were hosting our relatives at our home for a big event. Perhaps it was a wedding; I was not sure. But everyone came and stayed for the night. Some curled up in their sleeping bags in the living room. The elders were more rested on the big beds we had in the rooms.

The day was bustling with a lot of activities around food prep and decorations. It was a merry atmosphere! Towards the end of the day, all the young kids in the family wanted to go cycling. And this is where things began to go wrong.

There were at least 20 kids on their bikes with at least one respective parent tagging along from behind. The kids wanted to explore the small city, which was puzzling at the same time. This city that I was living in was like Chongqing. Can you imagine the maze-like features of this famous city? I mistakenly tailed a niece who looked just like my daughter from behind, and it was only later that I discovered that it was not her.

Since it was a large group, separated by the bends in the city, I wasn’t really sure if the other adults were aware that my daughter would be cycling with them or worse, separated from her cousins and other adults. Alarm bells started to ring as I frantically tried to call every parent that I know of who joined this cycling excursion. Panic set in as one by one the parents I called were saying that my daughter was not with them. There were a few whom I couldn’t get in touch with. Probably had their phones on silent, or they were busy cycling.

My chest felt heavy. I was clutching for breath. I was tired. Racing around on my bike. Crazy thoughts of finding her hurt or worse, dead were invading my mind. The pain of losing her felt real and palpable. I think it was when I wanted to scream her name that woke me up. And boy, I was relieved. My hands were right on my chest, clutching tight in despair. I had to catch my breath while staring at the blank ceiling. It’s been a while since I felt the emotions of fear. Especially the fear of losing someone. The intense emotions died down as I saw my daughter sleeping soundly in her bed. Alhamdulillah, it was just a dream.