What this New Year means to .. Yasmin MusTa

“Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”
― Carl Bard

I have always kept a diary ever since at an age of 7. No one actually taught me about ‘jotting down your feelings’ or ‘ keeping a journal’. I must have watched it from a movie or TV series somewhere that inspired to cultivate this habit.

Diaries during primary school were colourful with scraps of paper. Doodles and keepsakes of people I admire in school. I would have been regarded as a stalker should I keep up with the obsession though. Later, in secondary school the thoughts were more interesting as I began exploring teenage years and sexualities. Confusions on what sort of personality I wish to blossom into took its toll as I experimented and saw consequences of my actions and words.

Medical school introduced me to online blogging and thats where I discovered that we could befriend total strangers and enjoy a fruitful cyber relationship with them. One as such would be my favourite couple : FaezNadrah.Com. I sometimes wonder if the current relationship we have [read: tak pernah jumpa face to face] would change if we were ever to see each other for real. Ha ha.

Now blogging time is scarce. No, let me rephrase. The hiatus and infrequent entries are due to a ‘writers block’. A really long block. I just have no idea on what to write on. Perhaps its because Ive taken on a more ‘important role’ that involves a lot of talking and expressing thoughts. I honestly dont know. Sadly though, I feel that my writing skills and English flowery expressions have diminished. Which is a shame. I no longer use wonderful descriptive vocabularies in my everyday speech. I am beginning to forget the rules of grammer, the beauty of poems and idioms, the abundant figure of speeches.

Consequently, because I have allowed Work to suck me into its blackhole.. I have quite forgotten the dreams and ambition I longed for. I no longer remember the wonderful memories Ive had long ago that helps to inspire the things I can do today to keep it alive thus generating more happy memories.

With the 2014 curtain open.. its an opportunity to Relight the fire‘. I hope. I want to love language again. I want to love writing. Eventhough its not worth a film script. Or a Petronas commercial. Haha.



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