I received this some time in April 2016. It was a form of recognition by KKM for a good job well done sorta thing. A ceremony was held to celebrate the recipients. My face was even randomly in the papers the next day but not many people knew that of course. Ha ha. I was thrilled but apprehensive at the same time.

I had thought that when you receive an APC – it’s supposed to mean that your boss recommended your name for it and that such recognition is awarded because well… you did a good job. is it not? But ironically the congratulatory wishes I seem to get are not as sincere and accomplished as I’d thought it be,

I have people wishing me,

” congratulations – its about time. You’re already a senior MO after all ”   ok? is that a good or bad thing?

” congratulations – you’ve got one so quick. I haven’t received one despite being in the service for more than 10 years ” ermmm.. maybe you’re not working well enough

” congratulations – kalo duduk district memang senang dapat ” i felt bad when people say this because I totally understand that those more deserving should get this but are in a tertiary centre where it can be overlooked.

” congratulations – kena kerja lagi kuatlah lepas ni. baru berkat dapat ”  excuse me? I give my best all the time.

I was honestly confused but I thanked them graciously anyway. Is APC a senior thing after all and not because its deserved? Gosh.. this is not making me happy at all. Am I in the same boat of those people yang ‘kerja kau tkdela bagus sangat  -tapi sbb ko dah lama kat sini.. ‘ sorta person? Kinda sad innit to perceive an APC as a measure of how long you’ve been in a place. Because I honestly thought I’m receiving it because I was assessed as an officer who is honest and diligent in my work.

Thankfully, a handful conveyed their congratulations in acknowledgement of my contributions, compassion and effort. That shows their understanding of who I am at work. At least I hope the person who nominated me thinks likewise of myself.