Leak and Seal

My thoughts resonated with the words by my physician today.

Of how in the medical line, it is very important to not take things too personal. In short, we should have no hard feelings towards another individual.

I gathered that there will be times when we kena marah for our shortcomings or for no reason at all. If we allow the negative thoughts to linger on to ourselves for too long – we would feel burdened. We’d feel hatred. Dendam, maybe? So if say, a colleague or supporting staff is not performing to our expectations. Or patients refusing to take their meds and yet have to nerve to defend bogus alternative therapy. Inevitably, although one has all the intentions to shove death statistics and what not to the person in mind, I tend to now take a step back, inhale, jaga emosi and say all the nice things I could think of. And put on rewind in my head, “maybe she had a bad day” “she’s just being difficult today. she will be fine tomorrow” and let the matter slide today so we could achieve more the day after.

Furthermore, if we were to take an eye for an eye – wouldn’t the whole world would go blind? sikit2 nak balas balik. nak bambu balik. 

Like it or not, I have learnt to lower my ego and work with people in a personalized manner. It is not perfect but it’s a lifetime learning process. My expectations remain the same lah tapi– thou shalt not compromise with quality.

So for instance if I want a patients blood pressure to be monitored on regular intervals, after documenting it on the patients card – I may need to approach my assistants to further explain and reinforce my plan. This is because some may not take the time to read on the card and just go about their ‘usual’ way of doing things. Sebab dah biasa <– a very dangerous idea to harbour in ones mind for life.

Afterwards, I may or may not need to put on the chart the scheduled times for these blood pressure to be taken. I don’t like having to do you know tulis time satu2 of when you should measure these vital signs when some individuals on the other hand could easily understand what every 30 mins mean. But I have to and despite after reprimanding these people, I still need to be on the same page with them the next day. Or the next hour.

Because if you keep hoarding these hard feelings within yourself – it will be an obstacle to effective team work. And when people cannot work together, patients suffer. So sometimes I feel like a leaking aneurysm. I ‘leak and seal’. Leak and seal. Multiple times. Selagi I can keep my shit together, it should be ok.


3R : Read, Reflect, Respond

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