Good father, lousy husband

Disclaimer : not my husband

Just over a year ago, on this date, I came to know the story of a lousy husband. Let’s call him H. That time around, Covid-19 was really bad. People were very scared of it. Anyone who is known to have the disease was immediately quarantined for fear it would infect other people and bring out the worst health complication for the person.

H’s wife, J unfortunately got the disease. Worse still, she was not vaccinated. There was a long queue for the vaccine and her turn had yet to come. What pissed me off was H having the nerve to not allow J to enter their home. His wicked ass packed J’s clothes in a bag and was thrown out the door. J was to sleep at their second home, roughly 20km away. Only that, the house was not furnished with no groceries in the house. Or clean water. Did he expect J to buy them on her own? J was to drive herself there while being ill. Ini ke yang orang panggil sehidup semati? Ini ke yang orang panggil sayang bini?

J drove to her daughter’s house instead, who also has Covid and stayed there. H and J are considered a couple in their 60s. They already have adult children.

The only thing H was concerned about was whether J sanitized the taps at the other house after use. He had no idea J was at their daughter’s house undergoing quarantine together. He did not even think of J having meals to eat, a blanket to cover herself in case it gets cold or if she needed basic necessities like soap to wash.

Having such a lousy husband did make me wonder why J didn’t leave him earlier. In search of a better husband. It also made me realize it is not easy to just walk out of marriage especially when children are at stake. J had put up with a lot of things just so her children could have a father. To her, it would be difficult to raise her children especially when she lacks the qualifications to land a job that would pay good money to do that. So, she remained patient with her kids. It didn’t take long for a decade to grow into 20 years and then into 30 years.

In a way, H was a somewhat doting father but he could be a better husband. His children had a wonderful childhood, he showered them with gifts. He made sure they have a formal education. It was only with time as they grew up that they discovered he wasn’t a great husband to their mom. At this point, I also realized that even if the children become adults, in their parent’s eyes, they are still children and that they do not have to interfere in ‘adult’ things.