I will find who you are and make a complaint!

That was what the lady doctor said.

I wanted to answer back by saying “you don’t really have to go into much trouble, I am always here at *insert place of practice*” but since she sounded so pissed off already, I decided to keep quiet and let her have her moment over the phone. I think she had an audience beside her – I hope she has a good, uneventful shift today. Silence is not a sign of retreat. I still respect her for her knowledge and all. Besides, I did not really have anything nice to say in return. A wise senior doc once said, if someone is on fire – you become the water. Giteww. TQ Haji Karim. ha ha ha ha

To be honest, I knew that the referral would not be smooth sailing. It was one of those moments when you’re just stuck between an obstinate patient and doing what is best for her within the resources that you have. I welcome the lady doc’s complaint in the future if it will make her feel better. Although I know I can still sleep well because I know I did everything by the book.

I advised the patient. My nurses re-emphasized my points. We actually asked her multiple times if she changes her mind. She still wanted to follow her head.

I consulted my specialist. I followed my specialist’s plan. She had 2 plans. The best and the alternative if the patient remains obstinate. It was just unfortunate that plan B involved a third party and the 3rd party hated the plan. So, the 3rd party got really pissed. Since it was easy to just launch a verbal attack towards a junior colleague, that was what happened. I think the lady was super pissed when I sounded too calm over the phone. Yelah.. kita ni bukannya housemen lagi – we kinda realized that kat dunia luar, rambut pun sama hitam. furthermore, when you are a medical officer approaching the 40s, you kinda dun give a shit to all the irrelevant dramas. Meaning if I was given feedback by another person, I try my best to focus on the content and less on the emotions.

For example, if an angry patient comes to the clinic and start to maki2 people like

babi lah korang, P***** Pu*****.. kalau hari ni bukan hari ambik darah, kenapa bagi appointment hari ni? ingat senang ke nak amek cuti…

I will deafen my ears to the pig and vagi–nah part and focus on the problem mentioned after. Removing the emotion, will in a way, make you less reactive to the remarks and less likely to respond in a manner that you will regret later. But does it always happen that way? Is it always successful>? Of courselah tak.. I do not have the patience of a Buddha. hahaha.

At the end of the day, we can only advise and it is up to the patient to make an informed decision. Plan B did not go through which leaves plan C, the least favourable. The patient took her own discharge at her own risk with a snigger, not knowing that I paid for her transport to get the supposed treatment. Thankfully, the transport person returned a portion of the money as a goodwill gesture.