Category Archives: All in a days work

as a medical officer

Chucky ignited

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I was anhedonic for a prolonged period of time. The cause was multifactorial. At times, I was on the verge of being catatonic. I wanted to be energetic and responsive to my surroundings, but the effort left me so tired. I was exhausted, but I still prayed for the energy not only to breathe, but to keep going.

Allah answered my prayer to feel better in the most unlikely way. An incident happened at the workplace. It was bad. It was horrendous, but the funny thing is, the incident was enough to reignite my inner Chucky and unleash its fury. In an instant, I was alive. I feel things. I was talking like popcorn. The energy kept rising for a few days; up to a point, my meekness jumped out the window. It was an incident of betrayal, and naturally I responded with wrath. I was prepared to bury this monstrous being to the ground.

However, over the weekend I began to realise the silver lining behind it. This altercation not only sparked my motivation to continue living my day with meaning, but also served as a catalyst to strengthen my application for an early pension. Concurrently, my ego was suppressed, resulting in me communicating with my husband, as I was desperate to gossip about the matter with him. His response could be more sadistic, but it’s ok; it was still a two-way communication. I want to hear something like, “To hell that person goes”, etc. His was more calm and collected. He was sensible. Nauurrrrrr.

This incident has yet to end. I look forward to a fruitful ending that will chuck this monster out.

A year done and dusted at MCH

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I completed my one-year rotation at the Maternal and Child Healthcare Clinic (MCH) last September. I started mine in October last year. Initially, I wanted to assemble a new team in January 2026, but I didn’t have any capable options. So I extended my 3-month MCH rotation to a year. Then I began selecting my team members for the year. My first team member was an easy pick, as her leadership and accountability shone through. The initial 3rd team member required a bit of planning, and finally I decided on one. Also a wonderful person with a great personality and attitude to work. We were a team of 3. I felt so lucky and honoured to be working with them.

The best thing about my MCH rotations was the cute babies. That’s all. That was what kept me going. The rest gave me a headache, as it made me question my decisions on how I manage my cases on a daily basis. To be honest, I would experience the same amount of anxiety if I saw my outpatient and NCD cases. There is always this afterthought: did I do this right, or not?

My workstation was a desk that faced a wall. It was situated underneath the air-conditioner (meaning the cold air was blowing above my head) and did not have its own PC to work with. The idea was to fight over the laptop at the office upstairs in the morning and return it at the end of the day. Everyday. Despite my efforts to lose weight, the stress of risking using an underperforming laptop resulted in me using my own. I downloaded the CCMS system onto my Lenovo, brought my own wire extension and a Baymax fan to keep me cool at work. I am, after all, Olaf. I cannot stand a warm room. It makes me angry.

I came with 2 bags and left with the same. A laptop bag and the miscellaneous bag.

Now that I am floating in the Outpatient pool, I am narrowing it down to only 1.5 bags for my belongings. The 0.5 is my telekung bag. Simple enough, just in case I am leaving one day. So, unlike most who leave with the iconic box, I am leaving with what I carried with me in the morning.

Nadai Mutual Energy

Posted in All in a days work, Ponderings & Personal Development by

Even as adults, we are learning new things about forging relationships with other people. In my situation, it still hurts when people do not reciprocate your energy in building that relationship. At one point, you just get tired and prefer to spend that little amount of dignity you have towards yourself.

I wanted to make a few of my vegetarian friends feel included in our workplace get-together potluck. So I brought some candies with me as options for the vegetarians to snack on alongside other veggie-friendly food. In fact, I bought some for all my other colleagues so that we could try and enjoy the same thing. I had it myself, and it was a delicious gummy. Good things are meant to be shared, right?

Two colorful candy packaging bags featuring cartoon creatures: one for 'Grumpy Candy' with a blue monster and the other for 'Fruity Gummies' with a blue creature sitting among strawberries. Both bags indicate they are suitable for vegetarians.

Unfortunately, the one that I wanted to hopefully feel included did not turn up to the event. Not only that, but all the other food was also flatly refused. It was a sad yet shocking experience. All the husnuzon just went down the drain. Even if you do not prefer something, just accept it graciously and chuck it into the bin secretly later on. Sigh.

Some people just don’t deserve our energy, after all.

My one year anniversary as a schedule generator

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I took over making the work roster from my colleague out of camaraderie. The previous MO who did the list was a lovely colleague whom I knew had been taking the punches for everybody for the many years I have known her at work. I believe that the moment she approached me to take over, she was already at wit’s end. At the same time, I think she knew that I was a person who could accommodate everybody else as much as she did to ensure that both clinical services and each medical officer’s personal matters were taken care of.

To become a roster maker, you could choose to be empathetic or a bitch who doesn’t give a shit. Since I started arranging the schedule last October, I’ve found that my colleagues are rather colourful behind the scenes. They are a mix of positive and negative traits but never too evil or goody-two-shoes all the time. They can be mischievous, and at times, when I am able to see through them, I would let them off the hook if it is not much of a nuisance. Otherwise, most of the time, my superior would sniff it out based on the whistleblower’s information. Yes, we do have a mole amongst us.

Anyway, back to my colourful MOs. There are the:

  • ones who think the world revolves around them ONLY. The schedule has to fit them and their priorities ONLY. There is very little room for discussion and negotiate the demands of clinical work and other MOs. Dia je yg nak gi CME. Dia je yang nak itu dan ini. Time kita bagi, tetiba ada hal tu la, ini la. Bila tak dapat, mesej bos. what the fish.
  • ones who have requests but are also accommodating of other people’s needs. Meaning, they provide back up plans with other negotiable dates, with clear objectives that allow me to provide my ideas of how to make the line up for work effective for everybody. I like this type of people. They are assertive in their scheduled and others.
  • ones who go with the flow. While it may seem easy for me to place them anywhere, it does put me in a spot where I need to practice conscientiousness on my part. This is because I do not want to exploit this particular group of MOs. I do not want them to be burnt out. In fact, I would put this people on my watch list. Because they can either remain docile, turn rogue in a jiff or commit suicide. I am putting myself on this list as well.

To celebrate my one year anniversary, I will order an iced coffee today. Ha ha.

A close-up of a keyboard with scattered papers and folders on a desk, featuring a note about a millennial's approach to managing work rosters.

Supporting healthcare professionals

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In healthcare services today, we need more advocates who care for healthcare professionals. HCPs are human beings who CHOSE to do medicine with one purpose in common: altruism. It is very unfair to say to HCPs

YOU CHOSE TO DO THIS. YOU SHOULD BEAR WITH IT. IF NOT, LEAVE!!!

Yes, we chose to do this. But it doesn’t mean you should treat us like SHIT.

It’s like saying just because we choose to marry someone, it is OK for the spouse to disrespect us, hit us, or abuse us simply because it was you who chose that person to become your partner.