Warm feelings make a lasting impression.
Waking up to this song from a horrible graveyard shift is just wonderful.
Monthly Archives: January 2015
Of K-pop and Assertive NO
Would netizens and relevant authorities react differently if the K-Pop guys hugged a young ah moi. Instead of an anak daraย donning a hijab. The Running Man cast were in Malaysia last year, I wonder how many hijabster’s were allegedly ‘molested’ by them as they queue in a meet and greet autograph session. Either way, I just don’t think any young girl of whatever creed should be put in an organized compromising situation. One that could lead to being judged by others. Any parent surely, wouldn’t want just ‘any guy’ to touch and hug their daughters, no? If as a parent we are vigilant towards the guy our girls go out with, why doesn’t the same rule apply to these K-Pop guys.
Some argued that these guys ‘asked for permission’ before proceeding with the gimmick. IMHO, they shouldn’t ask in the first place – a strange boy should not freely touch any girl who are not theirs to keep. But hey, this is an entertainment industry – I don’t work in one – I don’t know how the dynamics work. So lets leave it at that.
I feel sorry for the girls who got caught up in the hysterical moment. I mean, if Angelina Jolie or Beto Kusyairy himself were to walk into my casualty department for a fracture, I wouldn’t hesitate to be the first to attend to their ailments. It’s called being human, being in awe – only Insya-Allah, I would know to restrain myself and not take a selfie with Angie if she was still recovering from her anaethesia for instance. Or touching Beto unnecessarily on the cheeks when he has a broken leg.
A Dr Harlina brought up an interesting point regarding this problem. About how we should start educating girls/ women in the art of expressing an Assertive NO. Of knowing how to refuse or deny one of something in a manner deemed proper, with diplomacy, not aggressive but getting the point across. If the girls managed to exercise an Assertive NO on stage- this probably wouldn’t happen. The gimmick of hugging would probably be replaced with a serenade or a dance.
I wished I read her piece on this many years ago. Even now I still struggle with the ability to say an Assertive NO. Especially when a non Muslim man wants to shake your hand for a wonderful job well done et cetera..
Recently, my Facebook feed was flooded with varied responses to the K-pop incident. I couldn’t agree more as I witnessed how it has been blown out of proportion. I don’t see how arresting the girls for indecency could help. Nor does holding the organizing committee wholly accountable a good move. Why not resort to counselling or community service. Or establishing guidelines to international performing artistes regarding local customs. And please, we are not talking solely about pantang larang dalam Islam, but budaya sopan santun, budi bahasa as an asian community (dayak, cina, india etc). The vision of wanting our girls to have fun yet abide to certain rules so they remain protected.
Already, they feel embarassed with their photos gone viral and circulated around the web. Not to mention the ‘punishment’ they’re getting at home from the parents. And now this? What about the mass molestation we see in our Malay dramas reality TV shows? Do they get to walk away unharmed because they are not wearing a hijab? Or that they have to hug each other becauseย it’s part of the job? Which is ironically written by a muslim as well. Tak payah tgk jauh – Arianna Rose was written by a lady in a hijab , directed by a woman in hijab and yet we see Keith Foo and Nur Fathia acting very chummy towards each other. Oh lupa.. tuntutan skrip. Seems like a lot have to be done to get the Assertive NO message across. Cause apart from our youngsters, adults and warga emas are struggling too.
Honey Madu for dinner
Mr Husband is working extra hours today. This means dinner for one is 2 slices of honey buttered toast with a mug of hot cocoa. No fancy dishes – just toast.
In Vietnam, honey is served with tea.
During one of our visits to the bee farm, we had tea mixed with a small dollop of honey and a sprinkle of pollen. Topped with a mini-squeeze of limau kasturi. It was a wow tasty drink. I had seconds. And a third. But I didn’t buy their produce because it was too expensive and most importantly – they were in liquid form. I did not pay for extra baggage for the Saigon trip. Liquids in hand luggage? Risky…
In Malaysia itself, I came to hear of Teh tarik with Madu in Johor. Now that is something worth a day trip for.
Forever. The Daughters.
Last weekendย I had The Visit from my parents. As usual, I’d be hoovering the place 2 hours prior to their grand arrival and getting the clean sheets in the guest bedroom. This time my younger sister tagged along together with her 2 year old son, Adil. I stocked the fridge with yogurt drinks for my dear nephew and loads of snacks for my sister. They love to eat. They’d be looking for food at midnight.
The main agenda for The Visit was actually to the Johor Premium Outlet (JPO). Although in the end, only my parents went. I didn’t think Hazeeq would enjoy being all cramped up in the car for 2 hours. Adil on the other hand was a handful. He’s like an energizer bunny on an automated recharge mode. He never gets worned out. So parents went on their date to JPO. My sister and I just shopped at the nearby Tesco for new clothes and scarves.
Itย was only later in the evening when the parents finally came back. We were in the middle of enjoying our tea with cekodok pisang when suddenly two big plastic bags fell on our laps. One each. My sister and I, both in our early 30s and late 20s, both earning our own paychecks, both have babies of our own were grinning cheekily at the Fossil shopping bag.
‘ooooooouhhhhh.. gifts!’
Immediately, it was like an edited scene out of Frozen as Princess Anna (my sister) and Queen Elsa (et moi) became super excited with ourย presents. They were both handbags of the same colour and size. The parents did not want us to fight over the colour of the bag. Not that we will pun , kan? he he..
Both of us were elated with the handbagย and stuck to the rule. The rule of just saying a big hearty thank you and never ask why. Cause we know – in our parents eyes, we are forever their daughters.
Thanks Mom. Thanks Dad.
SuperMom – what makes them what they are …
A happy woman is an attractive person. Which explains why the Angels of Victoria Secret look so majestic, magical and beyond reach. A flash of their huge smile could melt Elsa ‘s snow palace in seconds.
Taking a step closer to my homeland, we have women like Vivy Yusof, Marion Caunter and Sazzy Falak to name a few… that portrays an image of SuperMom in Malaysia. They are mothers to their kids and have a bustling career all year round. I am also grateful that they don’t coin terms like ‘fulltime mother’. Like, is there such thing as a part time mother??!!
They make Motherhood seem so glamorous and fun – as though their lives are full of sunshine all year around. Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE THESE WOMEN. And I totally understand that amidst the sunshine, just like any other moms, these could be rainbows … those colourful bridge of colours one get after a downpour. Everyone has their personal battles right?
I follow them on Instagram. I read their blogs. I forced myself to look into why these women are so attractive in their own manner. Of why other moms want to become like them. And this is what I discovered:
1. They made their own mark. They were able to stand on their own two feet before they met their respective partners. These ladies are not trophy wives. Instead they could potentially turn their spouses into one if he doesn’t buck up. It is important for any woman to establish herself as someone full of wort. We not need be famous. We don’t have to own a multi-million ringgit company. But we should be able to define ourselves for who we are. Dato Siti Nurhaliza for example is referred to as herself, Malaysia’s songbird now cosmetic entrepreneur. We don’t call her Datuk K’s wife, right? Hence ย I, for instance should aim to be known as myself rather than Mr Husband’s wife.
2. They work hard. They play just as hard. And it shows through the smiles in pictures. The social events they attend. They are not afraid to SHOW how a particular job gets done. They share these secrets and genuinely want other women to follow suit. To actively chase their dreams. Which trails on to the next point.
3. They seem to be able to balance it all. Its as though they keep genies in their perfume bottles who could regenerate more time so they could work, have time to date the husband, play with the kids, workout to maintain that fabolous body etc. This beautiful illusion of proper time management is something all moms covet. Including myself. But if they can do it.. then why not. But here’s the secret. They know how to ask for help. Supermom has a team of little elves behind the scenes. In fact, this is how everything is able to fall into place. It’s not a crime. There’s no rule in saying supermoms must work alone. NO. Supermom knows how to delegate, organize and pick the best help around. This comes in the form of an understanding husband, a trustable nanny, dependable work colleagues and so on.
4. They still have their girl-friends. Those girls you’d hang out with before you met The One. This I feel is something that I have kind of neglected. The power of GirlPower. Its easy to toss aside those friends or housemates you’ve lived with for the past 5 years in medical school once we step into marriage. But this doesnt happen in these ladies lives. If you notice, they still hang out with the girls. They have the occasional gossip session, brunches or lunch. All this, without the husband or kids. Get what I mean? Your very own Spice Girl group is a great way to survive motherhood.
5. A strong supportive family to begin with. Their own parents and siblings that is. Notice that it takes nuturing from the early years of their lives to become who they are today. As the Malay proverb goes, ‘melentur buluh biarlah dari rebungnya’. Despite some of them not born with a silver spoon in their mouth or a privileged educational background, they were still able to defy all odds and create their own form of success in the world. This is something we should learn, I should learn. To not think that just because I don’t have a headstart, I can’t make something out of myself. If the tortoise could outrun the hare in the race, why shouldn’t we. Kan?
But these are just my plain observations. *peace*