Category Archives: Everyday Life

Reproaching as an adult

Posted in All in a days work, Everyday Life, Ponderings & Personal Development by

One of the most difficult things in adulting is to reproach a family member, a friend or a colleague. It is not even scolding. Far from criticising. All this was done out of the public eye. Apparently, it is also a difficult matter among adults to accept advice and criticism in an open manner.

I reproached an individual I consider a friend a few days ago through a trusted third party. Also a friend. I made a decision to do so because I felt she did something wrong, which consequently stirred uneasy feelings among other colleagues at our workplace. Like any other occasion, these ill feelings are not conveyed to her at point-blank. Instead, they are discussed and circulated among a few people. To me, this is unhealthy. Because that was how this wrongdoing reached my knowledge in the first place.

Knowing that the workplace walls have ears, I thought I was right in my approach to make this poorly thought-out behaviour known to the person of interest. Through a middle person, the best friend. For reasons that these actions could be reflected upon and avoided. It is because I feel that in the future, if the same behaviour is carried out, it will bring negative consequences to this individual.

I expressed my points clearly in the WhatsApp message with the hope that the receiving end would understand my point of view and respond appropriately to the message.

Unfortunately, I was wrong. I don’t really know how it played out between them, but suddenly, I am the bad guy. The body language was so obvious that tension filled the air whenever the person of interest and I were in the same room.

This incident made me question my approach. What I thought was an act to ‘save this friend’ backfired instead. I did ponder it for a few days.

I mean, I had this person’s best interest in mind, as she is up for evaluation any time. The supervisor’s input might be influenced by certain people, and that’s quite dangerous if it is motivated by ill-harboured feelings.

I wanted to solve the problem. I thought I went to the correct person for assistance to cushion the aftermath of my advice. Despite the thoughtful measures (or so I thought), it did not turn out well. Consequently, we are just not on speaking terms at the moment. I could sense it. Ha ha.

As an empath, this is quite a hurtful experience. However, this is a learning curve for me. I should have known that I could not help everybody. Or more of, not everybody wants to be helped. And that maybe in certain situations, the best way would just be to turn a blind eye and let the person learn their own lesson.

January slump

Posted in Everyday Life by

For the past few weeks, I experienced a major slump in my routine. I was feeling exhausted and unmotivated all the time. I was dragging my ass and breasts to work daily. I could not really pinpoint the exact reason why. Maybe because it was January. The longest month of the year. Depression? Neh.

I usually bring a packed lunch to work as part of hashtagmincibmi25 effort. However, during the slump, I decided to buy lunch from our clinic WhatsApp group called ‘Jual Beli’. I bought ayam penyet, nasi kak wok and nasi pattaya. I was nearly tempted to buy sardine sandwiches for breakfast, even though I have sardines and bread at home. That was how bad I needed to reduce the number of decisions I made about eating. Of course, I could just fast, but that requires a different type of willpower.

Stepping into February, the mood has brightened up a bit. Still buying cheap lunch options.

Insya-Allah with the upcoming Ramadan, I will become more stable in terms of mood and willpower.

Nasi Kak WOK

Sharing candy

Posted in Good Things by

At my clinic, there is this one particular cleaner, probably in his 50s, who does his job diligently and with much grace. He would knock faithfully on the door of the doctor’s consultation room and ask for permission to enter and do his task. His task varies depending on the time of day. I reckon that in the early morning, he could sweep and mop the floor clean. He would also wipe our desk because I noticed that when I leave my desk in a mess in the evening, I would return to a sight where my pens are in the holder and my papers arranged in a neat stack.

In between the hours, he would collect trash from the non-clinical bins and wipe the sink clean. He would do his job swiftly, going in and out of the room using the main door. Unlike some of the other cleaners who would use the interconnecting doors.

Lately, I noticed that this routine was replaced by a lady. I had thought that maybe he was ill or on a holiday because his absence was felt. The lady was less meticulous than him (she washed the sink but did not wipe it), and unlike him, the lady would barge into our rooms during lunch time to clean. It disrupts our afternoon nap.

When he finally came back, I asked him if he was feeling well. He said he was fine. In fact, he just returned from his one-week Umrah. I uttered an Alhamdulilah. Since I’ve just returned from the trip there myself, I knew that he and his family must have enjoyed their trip there. Umrah is not cheap. Thus, he must feel blessed for the given opportunity to perform his worship there. Allah invited him. Alhamdulilah.

I continued my consultation with the patient. In a few short minutes. He returned to the room and placed a bag of sweets on my table. It was a small offering, which I felt was not necessary. He did not have to do that, but he did. I said a thank you to which he replied, ‘Benda kecik je Dr, takde apa sangat’.

His words sent a bolt of humbleness to my heart. Eventhough it was a small gesture, I felt remembered. Appreciated. I couldn’t help retracing my steps when I returned from Umrah. What did I buy, and who did I share my blessings with? One thing is for sure: I did not share my sweets with this lovely old man. When in fact, a bag of candy would not even burn a hole in my pocket. I want to do better in Ramadan. In giving and sharing my rezeki with others. InsyaAllah.

Earl Grey Tea Cake with Lemon Glaze

Posted in Everyday Life, Food and Drinks by

I rarely bake. I am not a good cook either. My first exposure to Earl Grey flavoured cake was from the Japanese Konbini (コンビニ) FamilyMart. What I had back then was a really good Earl Grey rolled cake.

I tried to find local bakers who could recreate the cake, but to no avail. Hence, I have been scrolling through Instagram, searching for easy-to-follow recipes for the cake. I found and saved a few reels. I managed to bake one today. The taste was OK. Perhaps I should find a recipe that infuses the tea flavour into the cake rather than just incorporating the tea leaves. It is because after the lemon glaze, it felt more like a lemon cake instead of a tea cake. Nevertheless, it was still delicious. I hope to send some to my MIL next week. She seems to like lemon-flavoured cake.

I am hoping to try making some cinnamon rolls or a chocolate cake in the many months to come. Maybe something in purple since BTS is coming to Kuala Lumpur in December. Baking is about precision. If you follow the steps to the dots, it is fail-proof. Sometimes, I lack patience. Which is why, for amateurs, it is best done when you have the time. It calms you down as you go through the recipe meticulously, and just let your thoughts sink into the process. As a bonus, if it turns out fine, you get to feed your family with delicious home-baked goods, which would probably cost me RM30 if I decide to buy them from a baker.

I did my baking just after I did my laundry and cleaning of one particular windowsill. The latter was on my to-do list since my last birthday. While waiting for another load to finish in the dryer, I decided to bake this cake. It took me at least a good 30 minutes for me to assemble the ingredients and go through the process. I was slightly frantic when the recipe asked for the oven to be preheated to 370. My oven only had numbers till 280. I then realised that it was in Fahrenheit instead of Celsius. Silly me.

The cake was finally done just after I had my lunch of rice with chicken curry.

Time flies. Asas 3.

Posted in Everyday Life, Parenting, Family and Relationships by

Ee is now in his 3rd year at KPPN. He is doing well in his studies and extra-curricular activities. Who would have known that this seemingly quiet young lad had his hands full last year? He is a very different person at school. He shines in charisma. At home, he sloths.

What surprised me most was that he volunteered (as in sent in an application) to become an Emcee for the annual dinner. He was selected. I mean, he doesn’t really talk much at home. Always on the phone playing his game, and suddenly, he WANTS to become an emcee.

No, wait.

Another surprising thing was that he provides ‘ironing services’. As in RM3 for a shirt, and if it is a full set, the combo is priced at RM5. On average, he is able to get RM15 per week. He said, that is ‘harga satu kemalasan’. He has his eyes on another side venture already. I am not going to tell you what it is yet. But I did say to him that he has got to be kidding. I can’t believe kids would actually pay for that.

Surprises like these are ok. I hope not to hear of horrible ones.

This year, apart from his studies, he is a member of the volleyball team. That is also new. He was into badminton before. I don’t really know what made him choose ‘botam’ instead. I am sure he has other goals in mind. How time flies.