Mothering up

We always talk about child and adolescent development but Erikson kind of made it clear that human beings grow and develop themselves their whole lives. Recently, my youngest daughter asked me if I have any more babies in my tummy because she wanted to become a big sister. I told her I don’t have any more babies and that she could always become a bigger sister to her baby cousins. It was at that moment, that it became clear to me that yes, I have made a conscious decision to complete my family.

Having said that, it would mean shifting my focus toward raising a son who is already in his early adolescence year and my daughter who is in preschool. Thus, it would be wise to let go of all the baby stuff and revamp the house environment to support the development of my kids into personalities that will bring them further in life.

As of now, this will be a mental note.

  • I am currently too exhausted to do spring cleaning during Ramadhan but I guess I am ready to say goodbye to all the strollers, baby carriers, soft toys, baby books, baby Tupperware and all. so, there will be mass decluttering later after Raya and I have lots of candidates at my workplace, those who are still building a family who might want these things for their children.
  • I would need to be more active in not only their studies but also their emotional well-being, especially my son who will at one point undergo puberty. The recent experience of forwarding my complaint to the school’s headmaster kind of mustered my courage to do more for not only my kids and my nieces but also for their friends.
  • Planning ahead a direction for their future. Money. Type of school. Something that spells out ambition.
  • character consolidation. kids should turn out better than the parents. better than me.

Thinking about this is making me tired already. *yawn*


Sparkle Run Melaka 2020 – a rare weekend activity

The announcement for this event came out very early. At the time I was contemplating on joining or otherwise. There are a few factors that I have to take into consideration whenever I choose to participate in a weekend activity.

  • Kids friendly or otherwise
  • Duration of programme
  • Venue of programme
  • Husbands schedule

If I had to attend a formal course on a weekend – then that is without a doubt, a must go. No question. No need to discuss. But when it comes to something of choice – I need to deliberate.

On Saturdays, my husband works in the clinic for at least half a day. On top of the weekday locum slots he is assigned to. He needs to fulfill his percentage of clinical work since he is most of the time doing a non clinical form of job.

On Sundays, or Saturday sometimes , he has to give community talks, organize gotong royong in a taman affected by dengue fever (which the residents don’t attend anyway) and god knows what other stuff involving handshaking the higher official menteri and such.

In a way, my Me Time or weekend activities need to also consider the above. His timetable. Safe bet is, I plan my stuff and inform him way in advance before he arranges his schedule. With frequent reminders hereafter so he wouldn’t forget through shared digital calendars, physical calendars, watsapp notification and verbal ones via the kids. Ha ha ha.

Sometimes he still forgets. Like my bellydancing session in Bangi. He made me cancel. I said No. He had to rope in his parents to help and we were grumpy towards each other the whole weekend.

Sparkle Run Melaka 2020

This run was announced many months earlier. I was thrilled for I could plan ahead. This is my first run so I am not quite sure what to expect but reading from other peoples experience of other runs – it should be a short run. Indeed it was. We came for the 0830am flag off and noted that those who went for the 0700am flag off has safely received their medal and on their way home.

The run venue was near to home, so it’s a plus point.

It was stated kids friendly but from the email, it discouraged bringing kids less than 2 years old. So I didn’t bring Ninie. On that day however, I saw other runners bringing their kids in strollers. Dayum.. I could have done the same.

My 5km run with Ee was done in 43minutes. We were pleased with ourselves and will consider joining other runs later. If it fits my weekend activity criteria.

Weddings , grocery shopping for instance are kids friendly activities with a less than 3 hours duration. The difficulty level may differ depending on the variables for the day – husband presence, kids mood or Will to Cooperate, the crowd etc. Even then I still need to plan my grocery trips – is it better to go Family Store where they help you to pack your stuff with less variety or to Tesco with good variety but hands off attitude when it comes to packing customers grocery. In both situation – I bring my own shopping bag. But Family Store was more willing to help.

Anyway, now that I find Fun Run interesting – I will now need to juggle future runs with other cropping weekend agendas – Ee’s skill classes, weddings, birthday parties, courses, visit parents etc etc.. thankful for my faithful HoboMinci.

All Things Are Difficult Before They Are Easy

After 6 months of swimming classes, my son is finally able to swim from one end of the pool to another without using a float. His journey, and us as parents was not easy. His struggle was to keep practising. Our role was to make sure that he is consistent in going to his classes and persistent in moments when he does not want to swim.

I still believe in some of the traditional ways of raising your children. Which includes not giving in too much into his choices. Cause his choices can be bad for his future. I don’t spank or hit my kid but I raise and harden my voice, a lot. I don’t yell. I just give out verbal threats. Things like,

“if you don’t change into your swimming gear now, I will STILL bring you to your swimming class in those Pokemon pajamas ..”

and I would just stand there, stare him down whilst he cry his eyeballs out. It was hard not to give in but I had to make my stand. He caved in and packed his suit and like most kids, you just need to give them the early motivation, within minutes they already enjoy the class and wants to attend the next one.


But to be honest, the same cycle of ‘I don’t want to go‘ will start all over again.

I did try to explore the reasons of why he refuses to go to class. Some of his reasons include;

  • he doesn’t have any friends that he know during those sessions. I told him to make new friends. I also understand that he would feel a bit different there as there are very few Malays but I wanted him to know, mix and talk to other non-Malay Malaysians for exposure.
  • he was worried that he couldn’t catch up. I told him he does not need to get everything right and perfect in one go – all I wanted for him is to try and give his best.
  • it’s cold in the water. I told him that he needs to eat more then, so he would bulk up and stand the temperature of the water better. I make him drink at least 2 glasses of milk everyday, 3 glasses on a weekend. He is gaining weight and getting taller. Not so much of body fat. haha

I enrolled him in the unlimited class options for RM700 over 6 months. Prior to that  huge monetary commitment, I signed him up to the trial class to see if it would suit him. That was 4 classes at RM120. I have not been able to send him there on a daily basis but we make do with the flexibility in terms of timing the sessions on weekends.

I told him that he can stop the classes once he masters the strokes and has advanced to the deeper end of the pool. But his learning journey will not stop there. Once this skill station is done, we are sending him to a language class. It will be up to him then which language he would like to learn.


I married a Mommy’s boy


My son helped with the dishes today. I never really taught him how nor did I tell him that he should. Perhaps he saw his father doing it. Mr Husband is his Mommys boy. It was difficult to kind of digest that in the first few months of my marriage. He showered her with gifts. He never failed to hug his mom. He called her everyday when we were still working in Kuching.

Now he sees her everyday. Well.. partly because we send our son to his grandparents during daytime to help keep an eye on him. Mr Husband buys his mom a week supply of groceries every week without fail, cleans her house, paints the walls, fix the lights and helps out in whatever that needs doing. She would get to know the most important news (that matters) the first. And did I mentioned that when he does these things he would bring our son along?

Initially I felt left out. But now as we’re heading strong into our 7th year of marriage – I honestly can’t wait for him to do the weekly chores at his moms house. At least I have that few hours by myself to just do my own cleaning or cooking or just you know, journalling and playing with my stickers and washi tapes. Without his sometimes annoying grandiose mutterings in my ears. Or that curious peek from behind my shoulders. sibuk sgt tau. HAHAHAHAHA.

I would want a son like Mr Husband when I’m old. Lets start em gentleman grÔÔming  young shall we?

Counting my blessings – my little sunshine

This is just me counting my blessings. Documenting the little miracles and rezeki in my life.

I had a terrible shift last night. Macam biasalah...jonah its like once I step into the Casualty Unit for my shift – patients just decide to flock in and needs resuscitation. Despite a hectic night, I managed to have 58 accumulated minutes of rest in between cases. I was still on my feet when the next shift rolled in. I couldn’t think straight once it’s time to punch out.

I fetched my son from his grandmothers house after work. Once we reached home, I switched on the air conditioner in the living room. I told Ee that Mummy needs to rest and take a nap (had my pillow and blanket laid out on the floor) and that he is free to watch whatever cartoon he wants. I also reminded him to wake me up if he wants anything like switching on bathroom lights or anything.

Then I dozed off and when I woke up in between my stages of sleep – I saw my little angel engrossed peacefully in his little world. He was doing his kindergarten homework independently with his Ultraman Cosmos series on the telly. On a considerable volume – not too loud but just enough for him to hear the show. I was also amused that he had his yogurt drink beside him which he took out himself from the fridge. It was such a beautiful sight to see him there – minding his own work and managing himself accordingly.

When he saw me waking up – he narrated to me about him homework and the number of stars  he got for his work. He explained about the monsters and Ultraman forces. he offered me his drink to which I politely declined. Because I was practically still in mamai mode. For a minute I was that irresponsible, oh-my-god sorta mom because immediately after his ‘brief report’ I continued to doze off. Only to be awakened by a phone call from my husband asking the colour of our ‘tong gas’ because it has run out of gas.

But yes, my son is my blessing today. He could have been screaming his head off or making my nap impossible but he didn’t. Alhamdulilah…