A long day today, mothering


My little princess was be taken ill today. It started with a bit of flu and mild cough for a few days but in the early hours of the morning, her body temperature had risen and she was irritable. Like really irritable.

Mr Husband could not take leave from his responsibilities (macamlah aku tkde) and so I had to thicken my skin and request for an emergency leave from my supervisor. Thankfully it was granted. Or I’d be damned.

Ninie was being very clingy the whole day. She wanted a hug all the time – which was so cute by the way. Awkward at times. Technically I had an audience when I showered, pee-ed and poo-ed. I made her nasi aruk telur for lunch and baby bolognese pasta for dinner. My own lunch was 2 slices of bramble jelly toast. She had her paracetamol and she was in her diapers only for the whole day. Once she got much better, she can play independently for 30 secs. Then, its looking for mummy again. I learnt that she loves the Hi-5 group today as she follows their gestures , something like dancing, wiggling her little tush.

Towards the end of the day, she seemed happier. I brought her outside of the house to visit our little garden. Alhamdulilah, our jambu air tree has bore its fruits. Now we are waiting for the mango to come out.

Caring for a sick child is exhausting. Especially when your sleep pattern is disrupted. I hope I can function tomorrow. InsyaAllah.






Ninie is 1

When I carried her in my womb, I had an inkling that this could be a girl but it wasn’t really confirmed until I finally saw her during my Caesarean section. She is turning 1  years old today. Some say she is a spitting image of my mom. To me, she is a mixture of my face and my husband’s.


Haneem meaning penuh kasih sayang

Raising a girl is more than just putting pretty clothes on her. It is a lot of hard work from a moms perspective. I am not saying raising a boy is easy, it’s just that the ‘syllabus’ is different. LOL. If I could pre-programme Ninie’s virtues – my top 3 would be Kind, Generous and Intelligent.

Kind so she would not say or do things that could harm someone elses feelings or well being. That she would choose her words carefully and react accordingly. So she would always be pleasing to Allah, to us and those who love her.

Generous so she can share if she has the means to do so. To be thoughtful of other peoples plight. And in order to give more, she would strive to have enough in the first place. And work hard for it. Which is closely linked to my final trait.

Intelligent. A young lady with a sharp mind can never go wrong. With that brain of hers, InsyaAllah she is going to use it for the benefit of her family, the ummah and humanity as a whole.


But these virtues do not just come by on its own. It will depend on the whole village especially the parents to lay down those bricks to shape out what type of person their children will be. A daughter should have the best of what her parents can provide and this puts me in a big, big shoe. If you read the news nowadays or just scroll down the newsfeed on Facebook, there is a lot of crimes, misdemeanour, liberalism and hatred in the current society that one cannot help feeling worried for their family members. Me too, included.

Which is why it is important to include ALllah in your daily life, your decision making etc. For it is He that will listen to you and guide you through life. We can never know the future but I pray that all will be well biiznillah.I can already imagine the hurdles that Ninie  will be going through as a young girl, a teenager and later a young adult. I have had uncertainties as whether I could be the best role model for her.

Reflecting on the latter, perhaps that is why Allah bestowed upon me a daughter. We all have our own pathways in getting closer to Allah. Some through wealth, others a good career, several through building a family, a few through Death or predicaments in everyday life. Mine is through Haneem (ninie). Knowing me, who wants to be the best version of myself to both Hazeeq and Haneem – InsyaAllah, I would take steps to improve myself as not only a mum, but a muslimah as a whole.

I want them to see me who uses the talent/skills Allah give me towards doing something useful. I want them to know that I care about not only our own family but other people who needs help as well. I want them to see that I use good words in my conversations and that I always smile  the company of people, even amongst those I don’t really like. I want them to learn how to manage their emotions, their time and monetary resources by example. In short, I want them to be proud of me as a mum.


That they would confide in me when they encounter problems. They would shower me with endless hugs and kisses. That they know I am not just a mom, but I am also a doctor who knows how to have a good time. ha ha. Above all, I want them to pray for my well being always as evidence that they sayang me a lotttttt.

Happy birthday Ninie. I hope you grow up to be a beautiful lady loved by Allah and his ummah. InsyaAllah. 

Doing the babycall

Babycall. It’s like being oncall – only this time the focus is more towards the baby instead of patients. It’s still just as taxing as well as exhausting but fulfilling none the less.

Babycall demands stamina, strategy and proper preparation. It is still a trial and error process but I have been doing some reading online and Youtube-ing to gather the experience of mothers everywhere on how to make my nights manageable.


  1. WORK IN A TEAM – this is a no brainer. Get the husband onboard. No matter how small the contribution for its the small things that works magic sometimes. Some people do a tag team sorta thing. Others have partners do the graveyard shift. To each their own. In my case, Mr Husband usually takes over after 4 AM or earlier if he doesn’t  have classes in KL the next day. Hence, I get at least 2.5 hours rest before its time to perform the Fajr prayers. Looks like the training during oncall kinda help where it’s always a blessing to have my Medical Assistants to attend Green Zone cases at these hours especially when my brain has gone woozy after being up for hours. Then I try to catch some sleep during the daytime to keep myself sane. Most of the time I can’t because my brain just refuse to shut down.
  2. MENTAL PREP : LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS – even though it is predicted that your baby will wake up for feeding every 2 hours, it will be no guarantee that the baby will go back to sleep again after that hours feed. So you might be staring at this wide-eyed creature for the next 120 mins or so before its time to feed again. Or change the diapers again. Or the baby just wants to play or cuddle in your arms. For me it helps to not expect that I’d be able to get my sleep in between feeds but once I do – I say ketuk2 ramadhan- alhamdulilah.
  3. BABY PREP – ensure that everything you need is within reach. Diapers, extra blankets, rocking chair which ties to the next point
  4. MAKE MUMMY COMFORTABLE – Although the kitchen is not that far away – I always have a jug of water and biscuits/keropok ready at the bedside table. In case I have to kendong my lil princess in my arm for hours in the sitting position. There’s no way I could have a shut eye like that – so I’d switch on HBO and just have movie time and what not. Of course Instagram scrolling is another option but sometimes my neck hurts from all those looking down at the screen thing.
  5. PRAY : SEEK FOR DIVINE INTERVENTION – Allah listens to our prayers in moments of despair. I remembered when Ninie was at Day 5 of life and we were both just discharged from hospital about 2 days before. She was having a difficult time to sleep at home and the effect rippled on to myself. So by the time night falls on the following night – I was still exhausted from lack of rest but remained motivated to feed Ninie on a strict 2 hourly basis as she had neonatal jaundice (below photolevel). I made a dua that night to Allah to help ease our nights and grant me the strength to pull an all nighter. Amazingly, after Ninie’s feed at 1am – she slept through until about 5am for her next feed. I felt grateful for that brief period of rest but anxious at the same time because of her jaundice. Alhamdulilah  her bilirubin levels did not escalate any further and she did not require phototherapy at the hospital.

The Divine Intervention did not stop there. Miracles keep on happening as long as you ask for them and believe in them.

So yeah.. i’m still searching around blogs for tips and what not to handle the baby. Currently I’m hooked on the subject of ‘relactation’ because my breastmilk supply is on the low side. I have been experiencing very tired and sore moments which led to less latching sessions and you guess it right – formula supplements. I’m glad that there are a few Youtube mothers who are experiencing these problems for real and sharing practical advices. I like how one mother was saying she literally ‘pumped air’ for a few days which made me feel better about myself.

Well.. lets leave the breastfeeding part in another blog post shall we?

I am also in awe of some of these mothers who have such colourful activities in their ‘A day in the life with a newborn’ videos. Mine would have been really boring. it takes me like a few hours to actually being able to put on my bra and top whilst I try to calm a fussy Ninie or prepare a short meal for Ee. And you’d probably see me sat on the couch most of the time anyway forcing my bosom into Ninies mouth. Huhu.

I do learn that each child is different. I don’t remember Ee being this challenging before but come to think of it – by the time he was 2 months we were already staying with my in laws – so its probably my MIL  who had to endure the crankiness which she described as ‘sawan menangis’.

Thats about it for now. Need to finish my draft on the confinement set of Spa & Ma.


Day 17 of life – how we’re doing so far

Baby Ninie is at Day 17 of life today. It is also Day 4 of me observing my confinement period SOLO. With the help of Mr Husband of course.


Baby NInie on the dining table as I fix breakfast for myself in the kitchen

My mom needs to go back to her own place after 2 weeks for she’s got a few pending commitments to attend to. My sister and I used to dub her Wanita Umno for her ‘social obligations and mingling’ with her circle of friends and acquaintance never cease to finish. Ha ha.

Now I am physically capable to bathe Baby Ninie on my own.  I can do simple cooking for my own lunch and  light housekeeping which involves folding the blankets, making the bed and simple laundry. I can walk a tad faster but the pain lingers once in a while at a score of 2 or 3. Getting up from a lying down position is less painful but still needs the right maneuver in swinging the legs, flexing the abs and so on. Mr Husband also does his share in getting up for the baby  – only problem is he sometimes ‘tidur mati’. Most of the time I don’t expect him to get up to feed the baby for  he usually has classes the next day and I don’t want him to be sleepy during his motorbike commute. KL bukan dekat yerr..   

I have to pretty much be independent during days when he has classes. I even taught my firstborn, Ee how to call his grandmother if for instance I fainted or something. Also how to unlock the doors and sooth the baby. While I try to be careful and take great care of myself, I still have the fear of the unknown like a Pulmonary Embolism or a horrible Postpartum Haemorrhage. So yes – be prepared. Always know who to call for help. Draft a contingency plan.

It’s less worrying when Mr Husband is around. And less exhausting. He helps bathe the baby, prepare my meals and if I’m lucky a foot massage and a back rub. Baby Ninie may not have powder or minyak yuyi after a bath but at least she has clean diapers and clothes. Lets not push it shall we? *wink*

Baby Ninie is being predictable yet full of surprises. I can almost always be sure that she will wake up in the middle of the night every 2 hours for her feed and the occasional nappy change. Ouh, daytime as well. Thus, I hope to abolish my habit of procrastinating as even the most simple activities of daily living like taking a shower needs to be done A.s.a.p once an opportunity presents itself.

Kalau dapat makan, makan. Dapat solat, go now. Need a quick shower? make it 2 minutes. If I need longer time in the shower – I’ll wait for Mr Husband to reach home so he could mind the baby. While I try my best, my cup of hot milo still needs to be warmed up a few rounds in the microwave, a pee will have to wait and laundry can take up to half a day to be sorted out before it sees sunlight outside. Ha ha.

Still I am grateful for this phase of my life. I have been asking for this amanah for so long. I needed a break from work and its disasters (haha) through having a baby. Bolehkah itu macam?