FESTA BTS 2022 – to watch list

I haven’t watched it because I am still finding that 1 hour-no interruption time to watch it properly. But I have seen snippets of the video on Instagram. I think it is good for them to take a step back (not breaking up) to grow as an individual and become better in their chosen career. I like how an ARMY puts this event as a time for ARMY to become better people in the coming times. To also take the opportunity to grow and become better ARMY’s to support these gentlemen.

So yeah, while they do their thing… I could also invest some emotions and brain cells into my studies, work, family and self-worth. BTS is not totally off the radar as they did say they will film Run BTS from time to time. It would be fun to watch it again. I am sure we will still have JK’s mini concert once in a blue moon.

We can always stream their songs, listen to their CD, watch their clips on Youtube and of course follow their updates on Instagram (please don’t leave IG, Yoongi). We’ve got merchandise, right? That should be comforting too. My Suga collection is growing, I could feel a Suga Special on YT coming. I did not manage to get Suga’s notepad though. That’s a bummer. Grrrr..

BTS will still be around. Lurking somewhere.

If I can survive the times when fans (read: me) say goodbye to Cliff Richard, Take That, Spice Girls, NSync and Whitney Houston – this BTS break will be OK.

Dah sah2lah ada byk benda lagi aku nak buat muka bumi ni.. ha ha ha

Adulting

The more people you meet

The more stories you hear

The more books you read

The more drama you see

The more you understand WHY some people make decisions you thought were horrendous, ridiculous, selfish and completely absurd in the first place. The motives behind a murder, an organized crime, an obsession, an affair and other seemingly anti-social behaviour. Human behaviour is very complex. Never a clear black and white. Always a grey area.

You learn more about yourself and the values that you hold on to. You will begin to seek those who think on the same wavelength. You begin to distance yourself from people who don’t make you happy anymore and indulge in the pleasures lounging in your own mind. The world in the mind is better. Closing the eyes is better. Being numb is better. Maybe that is how neuroses start. Leading to psychosis. To hallucinations. To being bonkers and if uncontrolled … escalating to a person becoming a sinner.

The trigger to that sunken yet manic feeling can happen anytime. To anyone. I witnessed that ‘snap’ moment of insanity once before, at 17 years old. In my mother. My late mother. I would have thought that if problems were to happen in a marriage, it would be done by the decade and any marriage that supersedes that time frame is true love. I was wrong. Melinda and Bill Gates could testify to that. It seems that marriage could still be on the rocks and in ruins after 10 years. Bercerai di usia senja, I was told.

People do fall out of love.

What happened at 17 years old?

Mom packed her things in a suitcase, rode out in her car and was ready to leave the family. A lot of angry conversations took place between her and dad at the time via telephone. I was the middle person. Not the negotiator but the person who received the angry statements from both ends. Mom came back after a few hours though and said she just wanted to give dad a scare. Back then, I thought she was selfish to do what she did but now, I really really understand why. If I had known better back then, I would have told her to

just go. be happy. we, your kids will still love you. keep in touch wherever you are and whoever you’re with mom. just go and be happy.