FESTA BTS 2022 – to watch list

I haven’t watched it because I am still finding that 1 hour-no interruption time to watch it properly. But I have seen snippets of the video on Instagram. I think it is good for them to take a step back (not breaking up) to grow as an individual and become better in their chosen career. I like how an ARMY puts this event as a time for ARMY to become better people in the coming times. To also take the opportunity to grow and become better ARMY’s to support these gentlemen.

So yeah, while they do their thing… I could also invest some emotions and brain cells into my studies, work, family and self-worth. BTS is not totally off the radar as they did say they will film Run BTS from time to time. It would be fun to watch it again. I am sure we will still have JK’s mini concert once in a blue moon.

We can always stream their songs, listen to their CD, watch their clips on Youtube and of course follow their updates on Instagram (please don’t leave IG, Yoongi). We’ve got merchandise, right? That should be comforting too. My Suga collection is growing, I could feel a Suga Special on YT coming. I did not manage to get Suga’s notepad though. That’s a bummer. Grrrr..

BTS will still be around. Lurking somewhere.

If I can survive the times when fans (read: me) say goodbye to Cliff Richard, Take That, Spice Girls, NSync and Whitney Houston – this BTS break will be OK.

Dah sah2lah ada byk benda lagi aku nak buat muka bumi ni.. ha ha ha


A bora farewell

Farewells are inevitable. Personal goals may collide with organizational missions, conflicts occur and one has to prioritize what is important for all. This month 2 of my colleagues are leaving. One due to family commitment and the other due to contract issues. I was deeply saddened by the latter because it was a difficult choice to make. I know I wouldn’t have the courage to resign from MOH. I’d be totally lost on what to do.

Not that I haven’t been thinking of resigning. It is still in my alternative goals in 10 years’ time. In fact, I have cut it down to 9 years now – I just have to make it work. As long as I am not taking on new financial burdens and keeping my expenditures at an acceptable amount, I would be OK to resign at the expected date.

The initial reason being I thought there will come a time when I may need to serve my elderly parents, and tend to their needs while bringing up my own kids. With mom passing, leaving only my dad the pressure is less on that part since he is kind of dating someone (secretly) right now. So that future stepmother better rises to the occasion when the time comes. Jgn nak kikis harta je tau. Dah kenapa tiket bas pun my father has to buy for you.

In a way, the intention to resign now is maybe so that later I could help my mother in law to care for not only my father in law (or herself) if she falls ill but also my ‘fruit children’ on both sides if the situation calls for it. It’s like if Nora needs a babysitter for Aurora, I could help her. Or if Kona needs someone to shuttle her kids somewhere, I could do that too. If my brother needs to go somewhere, then I will go with them. Macam tu lah..

but to do that, I need a solid financial standing first. And I’d like to have that MAsters (at least) in Industrial-Organizational Psychology. Ada rezeki, we pursue a PHD.

My role in this farewell party is very menial. I just compiled the video clips and make them into one. I need to improve the audio though. When I play it without the headphones, it doesn’t sound good on a normal speaker. Why ahhhh..

I was ecstatic when the theme was purple. Bora is a colour so close to ARMY. And BTS of course. They are the Grammy’s this weekend followed by a concert the days after in Vegas. As much as I want to buy the online streaming ticket (ada ke? ) I decided not to, in respect of Ramadhan. Let’s liven up the days and nights with ibadat instead. Plus I have an exam on the 12th and 13th.

Then, I can go crazy. lol.

Being fans and stans – drawing the line

A.R.M.Y went wild when BTS members created their individual official accounts on Instagram. I was equally elated. Management was saying that it was an avenue for them to express their individual artistic elements and personality. Which is great!

Naturally, when you have more than 10M fans around the world, there will be toxic ones lurking around on these social media platforms. Trying to justify their digital presence and footprints as proof of fandom support. Some of my least favourite fans or fans include the;

Fanstagram creators

I am ok with fanstagram. These accounts tend to compile photos or clips from various resources and upload them on their feed. They tend to have names that resemble the artists themselves which are Ok, cool, it’s fine. To have fan account names like treatyoongiwithkindness or iamlikesugainreallife is to me, still OK. As it is glaringly a fan account. Recently though, I have discovered new accounts that take stanning too far. Out of respect, these accounts should not have the same profile picture as the original account. They also shouldn’t have account names that are similar to the original artists – where they are making changes only in a single alphabet or adding a few symbols on the handle. That is just rude digital mannerism.

The extreme OT7 supporters

OT7 without a doubt! But you shouldn’t go as far as criticising A.R.M.Y who may prefer to follow a few members on IG simply because they are keener to know the artistic progress of that particular member. As for myself, I am keen to know what RM and Suga are up to cause I love their work and persona more! does this mean I hate the others? Of course not. It’s just a personal choice I make so that on top of BTS, I could also see other people’s feeds that I follow on IG! It doesn’t help to make a post and compare the followers for each member. OT7 after all, have achieved more than 10M followers on their account- even if they’ve only posted one picture on their IG.

Media manipulators

Especially the photoshop experts. I totally get that we like to root for couples in the industry or wish for a couple to exist. It gets a little bit too far when you start editing images of stars that looks too intimate with each other. It’s just, inappropriate. I was stunned when I saw an edit of Jung Kook (BTS) and Rose (BP) on one particular IG account. It weirded me out. I wonder how these artists would feel if they stumble upon the images.

Digital mannerism, content plagiarism are things we learn as we go. It is difficult enough to abide to the rules in the academic world. What more within the realm of entertainment. Artists and fans needs to foster a symbiotic relationship to make it work for both parties. The artist in earning a living and the fans filling their void to become happy.

Bultaoreune 불타오르네

I am enjoying virtual popcorn at the moment as I watch the drama unfold in the vaccine WhatsApp group. There seems to be a disagreement in terms of how the booster doses should be implemented swiftly in preparation for the upcoming state election. Currently, the plan is to conduct it like a drive-through with all Klinik Kesihatan contributing manpower for the purpose.

All is well until a decision came up abruptly of wanting to open the centre on the weekends. Mind you, the existing workforce at all KK’s are already stretched to the maximum as centralized Covid Assessment Centres (CAC) and Rapid Response Team (RRT) are still ongoing on top of running routine clinical services at their respective clinics. The workforce will be further burdened by the provision of teams during state elections due to commence on the 20th. The way I see it, medical front liners are already fed up with all the ad-hoc instructions and what felt like an unnecessary burden of work to the current ones they have.

It came to a point where a young medical officer pointed out the occupational hazards linked to the drive-through operations at the airport if the weekend plan was allowed to continue. It was a valid concern on top of highlighting the strenuous shift systems some medical personnel had to go through. After all, with the current opening of 5 days a week, not everybody is taking the booster. We are not achieving much on the weekdays, so there is a concern of why we need to open on the weekends. I thought it was a tad courageous for this young man to stand up to an experienced doctor.

Hence, the title of my blog post today – FIRE 불타오르네

A successful organization needs to have 불타오르네. But not just any 불타오르네. We want a bonfire, a campfire and a candle. In my clinical facility, I would describe bonfires as the young, junior doctors. Full spirited and passionate about their duties. Eager to learn everything. Motivated to help everybody at all costs. Ready to fight, ready to sacrifice. Ready to make a scene for the sake of their patients and themselves.

Candles are the seasoned, experienced doctors who would say, they have seen it all. They are stable emotionally. They keep on burning but not with rage. They are cool-headed that some may mistake as being lackadaisical or simply not motivated. But they are there to keep the fire burning and light up other fires as needed. However, if the wick becomes shorter and is not replaced with a new one, the spirit of Hippocrates may just die off without a trace.

I would describe myself as a campfire. In other words, I have learned how big my fire should be depending on the purpose. If my purpose is to cook a meal, it should be bigger. If my purpose is to keep the campsite lit and protect the campers from wild beast – it shouldn’t be that fiery. It is about knowing where to channel your effort properly. This is because, with time, I discover that not all patients want your help. They just need that vote of confidence to proceed with their health decisions which may not be aligned with yours. Especially in cases of end of life care. It’s knowing which battles to fight, and which to just let it be.

Perhaps I forgot to mention one more fire. It’s not a good fire but somehow it’ll find a way to exist.


Look it up.