Tag Archives: raising a boy

My son did not win the colouring contest but it was all not in vain

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Last weekend my son participated in a coloring contest organized by PhysioMalacca Day. The winners would be judged based on certain criterias beknowned to the judges. It was apparently a popular contest as more than 80 minions kids were present – all fighting for a spot to get on with their coloring and such.

We set up Ee and his cousins little table as a flat surface for his coloring near the kindie kids. I knew beforehand that he was not going to win. Yeah – a very realistic mom. I know what my kids abilities are but I was hoping that he would at least finish off the task.

To my dismay he didn’t. He got distracted. While my 4 year old niece was very focused on her coloring, Ee had his eyes and attention wandering everywhere. He watched the other kids playing sukaneka. Then he eyed the girl next to him , probably wondering why she got scolded by her mother too much for using the tiny green color pencil instead of the much bigger one. Even I was perplexed. Mewarna je kot. Bukannya nak design bangunan.

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Halfway through the contest – which is like 8 minutes into his work he already had The Face. The Face he makes when he gets bored, merajuk or simply malas. The Face that makes any mother go ” awwh.. come on boy.. sikit lagi kot”. He began to slouch which aggravated his facial expressions. He had his chin stuck in his palm. At the end of the contest, he just refused to finish his work and even insisted on not handing it in. I had to put my foot down, took away his paper and have my niece sent it in on his behalf because he ain’t moving from the ground.

And boy I can’t wait to impart on his life lesson during the prize giving ceremony.

Of course he did not win. Ntah2 was disqualified for not completing the assignment. I could tell he was sad when he saw other kids walked up the stage to receive their colorful wrapped packages. And have photos taken with the VIP.

Ee later asked why he didn’t get a present. I asked him back why did he think he deserves a present. He said because he participated and color the picture. I told him he did not finished his work – and proceeded to further ask whether someone who didn’t complete his homework at school deserves a star by his teacher. He said NO.

I then told him that the same goes for this contest. Surely you don’t think you should get a prize when you didn’t even do it properly, right?

I think he kinda got the concept of “working for something to get rewarded accordingly”,  because he gave me a weak nod. With his almost tearing eyes. Grrr… those puppy eyes. We went home after the prize giving ceremony and Ee was so quiet in the car. I caved in to his misery and stopped at 7Eleven to get those bottled drinks and cookies he liked on promotion. Problem partially solved. I shall leave the lesson of losing despite working hard another time.

 

Being a parent is to be present

Posted in Everyday Life, Parenting, Family and Relationships by

The thing about kids is that they only remember the moments when you are not there. Contrary to adults, QUALITY may not be the best way to go as they tend to value QUANTITY more. At least not until they’re 7 or something. So I have to thank technology for camouflaging the fact that I’m not physically there with my son.

For instance, Whatsapp with their voice recording feature. Sometimes when I am oncall, my boy would send me a voice message illustrating his very important day/night acitivites and achievements – like how he managed to not pee in his diapers overnight and woke up dry! Or the time when he was coached by Mr Husband to say that he loves his daddy more just because he bought a new toy. Ha ha.

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But yes, it got me thinking. Here I am being this young working mother trying to adhere  to all these modern, urban parenting advice dispensed by those with more experience. Less TV time, no phones, spend productive and efficient time with children etc. While these parenting theories or how-tos are useful  – I still think to make parenthood magical is up to you.

Use them as guides to make better decisions. To suit your lifestyle and such. But follow your maternal instinct at the same time. I once envisioned myself teaching Ee 3 different languages but ended up feeling okay that he knows how to say ‘thank you’, ‘please’ and ‘sorry’. I wanted him to read the encyclopedia by 8 years old but I suppose I’m content that he knows how to read his age at the moment. I know that I could teach him to be a better person if I was there. If I make a presence. So he could see me, mimic me, listen to me, hug me and laugh with me.

Didiklah anak seiring dengan zamannya

There’s a lot more to know and understand about parenthood and husband-wife relationship with a child in the picture. Being an MD does not make me know about everything there is to know about raising a kindie.  

His first competition and 5 lessons

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When I was younger and participated in various school competitions – to me they were just stuff you do to win a prize. Little did I know that all these activities serve certain purposes and was part of an education. These were learning processes beyond the classrooms 4 walls. Even colouring activites are of benefit as we can ascertain whether a child can colour in the lines, recognize colours and use them appropriately. for instance, not colouring a cow purple and those sort of things. When I had a child myself, I began to discover the beauty of extra curricular activities. 

Ee participated in a Nasyid competition recently. He was apparently chosen by Teacher Zara because he was one of the few who memorized the song well. All they needed to do was practice and boy little Ee learnt a few things while training.

He learnt to;

  1. Accept criticism – in the beginning, he was a bit shy although he have been in the company of Teacher Zara and his friends for nearly a year now. Hence he was singing initially in a whisper. Teacher Zara chided him gently on that but instead of taking it in, he did the normal toddler thing. He sulked, muted his voice and refused to participate. He said he wanted out. He merajuk long time. Until we made him see the importance of singing out loud. Of how he could help his team and Teacher Zara to win. He understood and went to see his teacher – apologized comically and was back in the group.
  2. Obey instructions – he was able to move according to cues. He listened to Teacher Zara on when was the appropriate time to speak, eat and even pee. He was learning to respect authority accordingly.
  3. Be part of a team – he was engaging with his friends as a team player. He acknowledged his team-mate as the group leader and himself as a team member.
  4. Interact with a wider group of people – that the world does not evolve around him per se. That there are other preschool kids just like him at a different place.
  5. To win, you must make an equally good effort – his team won 3rd place in the competition and the prize came with a mini trophy. He was so proud of it he posed a selfie with it quite frequently. He also had a bonus lesson; that life is unfair sometimes. He was surprised when his cousin who fell sick on that day could still get the trophy despite not singing the nasyid. Ha ha ha..

As a young mother, I am looking forward to more life lessons like these. Congratulations Ee, Mummy is very proud of you.

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Preschool Days

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I find it hard to believe that my flesh and blood is going to kindergarten today. I finally got to meet the lovely Teacher Zara who was Mr Husbands kindie teacher as well. Imagine the experience she accumulated over the years!!

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I still remember part of my preschool days and it was awesome. I went to Tadika Sri Keria in Kuching – I sometimes wonder if it was supposed to be Ceria instead of Keria. It was a lovely preschool on top of a small hill at the roundabout. Back then, popular pre-schools were montessori based. Mine was I think, normal. 

My teachers were called Mrs Hamid Bugo and a particular Mrs Bakhtiar who we addressed as Mrs B. We had the usual kindy fun activities like playing with water cans, treasure hunting, hide and seek. Then there were things more academic like collecting stars for your homework well done or for good behaviour. We had ‘intensive’ maths class as well, as we sat in a circle with our workbooks and Mrs Bugo would go around the table and tick our answers as we solve the problem. Hence, we felt pressured to complete at least an equation before our turn came once again.

I once had to have my forehead stitched because I played ‘ice skating’ with my friends using socks as blades and talcum powder sprinkled to the parquet floor as ice. It was a lesson well learnt.

The best teachers are the ones who see you as a person, recognise your interest and encourage you to pursue on. I will always be fond of Mrs Bakhtiar. My dad was transferred to Semenanjung due to work commitment hence the whole family followed suit. Knowing that I love books – she gave me a really big book as a gift. It costs her MYR 70++ at the time which was considered to be very expensive.

the book meant more than a gift. It meant ‘I love you and take care!’

Tantrum – his milestone

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I usually have it easy. My boy would bathe on time, sleep on time, eat his broccoli and play his toys nicely. It would be a rare occasion to have my son cry or throw a tantrum. must be the mother’s angelic genes. 

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Last weekend however, was horrendous. For God knows what reason, this 3 year old boy of mine is beginning to have an opinion of his own. Everything has an excuse to NOT doing it – refusal to bathe, refusal to wash his Number Two, refusal to eat rice. It’s like him being possessed by an indecisive Emily Rose.

Is this a milestone I’m not seeing in my Paeds Protocol reference book? I mean he is turning 4 next month. Poor december babies – they’re just growing up but the year has passed them. I remembered when he turned exactly 1 years old he could suddenly walk without a topple. So could that be it? Another milestone of the dark side?  See.. even doctors get clueless when it comes to their own kids.

Last night when everyone was just super tired of being a normal human being and by that I mean completing house chores, shopping groceries, folding endless laundry etc.. when ya know we just want to lay down on the bed and sleep the night off – my son did not want to wash and change into his pyjamas. Not even his favourite bear pyjamas with the pockets at front.

Mr Tantrum paid a visit and made him throw his collections of Ultraman on the floor. He shut off the TV and kept the remote control away from his father. He wouldn’t let me touch or hug him. He just wanted to be a little 3 year old called Diffy Cult.

I just couldn’t have it and threatened to switch off the lights to our room. He thought I wasn’t serious – I felt ‘challenged’ so without laying any physical harm towards him (never did) I flicked off the switch. He howled and cried so loud I was worried that the neighbours would think that we were abusing him or something. 5 seconds later I turned on the lights back of course but he was still playing that game of ‘I am Diffy Cult’. I left him in the bedroom sobbing more slowly – to play a mindless mini game on my computer. But I couldn’t concentrate. My candy on screen can’t seem to crush very well.

Soon he came out to look for me but recognizing his other friend – Mr Mini Eegow he did not come near me. He sat at a different chair and just watched me. Then from the corner of my eye I saw him slowly lying down on the couch, still sobbing but from what I gather becoming sleepy.

Being a softie that I am, I went up to him and touched his face. His eyes were like really droopy by now – he ‘regained consciousness’ when I gave him a kiss on the cheeks and without a fuss he said

‘Mummy.. I want to shower”

Then everything became normal instantaneously. I lathered him with his favourite soap, put him in his pyjamas, combed his hair the ‘encem’ style and applied a bit of oil fragrance on his neck.

He later climbed up the bed, pulled up his blanket, hugged his toy elephant and ZzzzZZzzz.. he passed out. Then I prayed hard that he would be a good boy the next morning.