Tag Archives: raising a boy

Subjective pain

Posted in Everyday Life, Parenting, Family and Relationships by

I got home to a crying Hazeeq post-call. He was sobbing and clinging on to Mr Husband like a koala. I asked what was the problem. Mr Husband responded cheekily,

“He fell. Got an abrasion wound on his left knee but is wailing like he’s got an open fracture”

HA HA HA. My drama king son!

EE merajuk

He walked like a cripple the whole day – saying he can’t walk. And we kept reassuring this boy that there is nothing wrong with his leg. He of course does not agree. He forgot about the leg for a while after watching his favourite cartoon. He wanted to run to the fridge to get his Vitagen until that ‘pain on knee extension’ kicks in and there he goes – crying again. He merajuk. He doesn’t want a cute plaster even! He chose to be sulky.

I was more worried that he wouldn’t want to take his shower – but this brave young man said to me,

“Mummy, jom mandi. buang itam”
(mom.. lets go shower. Clean the black thing)

.. this is referring to his wound of course.

He kind of showered himself with special attention to the wound. He drizzled so much water on it, probably hoping that that it will peel off his skin. After a lather of soap and more water, we pat the wound dry and dressed him in his pajamas. I put on his long pants thus concealing the wound and all of a sudden, he can walk almost straight to the kitchen! Still on tiptoes and bent knees but more upright and at a faster pace.

That was when I realized that to him,  Pain will only manifest when it is something he can see. Once I covered up the wound, his pain dissipated and almost went away.

And the next morning, he was already jumping on the bed!

Tough love

Posted in Parenting, Family and Relationships by

I am a mother with tough love when it comes the Hazeeq. Rarely, do I oblige to his instantaneous demands especially ridiculous ones that gets on my nerves. I still indulge him with good food and toys though and of course smother him with hugs and kisses when I have him all to myself. Hehe. Even his wide eyed, puppy face look doesn’t work.

muka seposen

Hazeeq wanted to get on a specific ride today at Tesco. You know those moving things that emit sound when you push in a coin? So he wanted a miaow. Thing is, there is no miaow. There was only a dog, few horses, some bears and well… thats about it. Being the patient mother after a hectic morning shift, I tried coaxing him into choosing another animal. He refused and that’s when he gets into his ‘repetitive, rebellious’ mode. The 2R mode.

He starts muttering under his breath, “nak miaow.. nak miaow.. nak miaow..” for god knows how many times. He tried to UP his game by adding how he wants to go to neneks house and not MY house. “nak umah nenek, tak mo rumah mummy’..

Geee.. thanks son.

The good thing about Hazeeq despite him being in that 2R mode is that ;

  1. He’s not loud. Regardless of how angry his toddler tantrums are.. he would never shout unhappily in public. Thus, doesn’t resort to physical protest like spinning on the ground or something.
  2. He would still hold my hand and follow me to the car to go home. He would not pull away his hand. Nor would he protest out loud that he doesn’t want to go back to Mummy’s home. The muttering however, would still continue.
  3. He would forget. Especially when he reached home.

And now, he is happily sipping his strawberry milk bought from Tesco. It’s like the conflict never happened in the first place.

 

Boys want to have fun

Posted in Parenting, Family and Relationships by

I had always thought that Hazeeq loves being around Mr Husband because it goes without saying that he just loves Abah more (ye ke?) and that Mr Husband plays the sword games better with him. I soon realized that it didn’t matter what game I choose to play with Hazeeq – what he is really looking for is interaction. Fun interaction. Meaning … his questions answered. His demands fulfilled. Ha ha.

sayang2 ayah, sayang2 ibu

Mr Husband has been on a tight working schedule lately. Thus his sleeping clock has been fast forwarded to very early hours of the night. Dahlah mata ayam, kepak gik ya. So he’s usually dead asleep by half 8 and as for myself.. latest is 10pm on a non oncall day/PM shift.

Hazeeq on the other hand, does not sleep on the same hour. At most is by 9 pm if we’re not going anywhere. So being the bored lad he is, he starts seeking attention. That’s when I discovered that although what I’m doing seems boring – it opened up a new world to this little guy. If only you could see his curious little eyes peeking over your shoulder, trying to see what is making his mommy busy.

His frequent questions were along the lines of

what are you doing

why this, why that

what is that, what is this

and not that I’m doing a scientific experiment or anything. Sometimes its just random activities like folding the laundry, watching my korean drama, completing a work-related task et cetera.. But Hazeeq seems to enjoy that one to one interaction. He wants to know what I’m doing.

Mummy buat apa tuh.. 

He would choose the pillow I use for sleep. He’ll say, ‘bukan.. bantal ni kerathh’. He even chooses the colour of my towel. It has to be brown and not yellow, cause its his. He will babble about Doraemon and his terbang2. Sometimes he makes me pick up the sword and duel with him. At other times, he just wants a cuddle and play baby in my arms. ahhhh.. sweet boy. He just wants to have fun. Or in other words – attention. Which is why he would prefer someone who gives him that attention. Like the dad!!

This experience inadvertently taught me something about motherhood – that I’m a somewhat ‘quiet mother’. I mean, I talk to him and stuff but am not as open as how Mr Husband is towards my boy. Its as though my raw love is not fully unleashed – chained by uncertainties. My love is not 100% transparent and accessible. LOL. But well, it is not too late to improve on that.

100% undivided attention coming right up!