When parenting techniques and goals are not in line – that poses a challenge in itself. The best type of parenting is Authoritative Parenting. The least favourite are the Authoritarian, Permissive and Neglectful type.

One of the questions us parents got during the UKM Pintar interview was

What are the challenges in nurturing our son?

My husband had a long pause. I’ve already got a list in my head but I had to be careful with what I choose to say as it may affect his chances to enter the institution. I said something about his lack of possessing street-smart skills. My son is undeniably good in math-like logical thinking, solving sequence problems and such but he falls short of the ability to solve OTHER worldly problems. Just the other day I brought him to a recycling bin near LOTUS. It took a while for him to figure out how to open the bin. He kept looking back at me, giving me the eye that signals for my help. I stayed put in my car and told him to find a solution. Once he did, he struggled a bit to open it because it was a bit heavy but not too heavy for a 12 year old. I know. He just needed to put in some muscle strength to it. I thought he would give it another go but he stopped and just stood there. Waiting for me to rescue. I REFUSED TO HELP HIM. Instead, I told him to try again. After much trying, he finally managed to get the bin to open.

This is not the first time he exhibited this sort of behaviour. When he was a toddler, around the age of 4, his paternal grandfather placed some cushions in his walking pathway, wanting him to find a way to pass through the cushions. Instead of climbing the cushion or finding spaces in between to walk through the obstruction – he stopped in his path and just stared at the cushion. He went back the way he came and did not even explore the cushions in front of him. That was when I knew that with my son – if he is to survive the streets – he needs to be taught on every single, nitty gritty ways of living.

Like knowing when to throw the trash, wiping the dinner table, keeping a clean desk, hanging his clothes to dry, folding the socks, washing his shoes, BRUSHING HIS TEETH! Then, as parents – there is a need to mould some sort of emotional intelligence or empathy in his interactions with other people. Despite living in a Melakan environment – all this sort of ‘gurau kasar’ talk is not going to be beneficial for him. He should not talk like a Melakan adult. He should not think that attending school programmes and helping teachers is a waste of time. He should not use the word Keling even if that is what the elders before us use in their conversations with their friends. While to them it is more of a descriptive word for a person – society nowadays see that as racist.

Kids with high IQ have been known to have low EQ. Rarely do we see those who could have both. If your child is one of those who have both – good for you but don’t say that the statement is not true. high IQ kids with low EQ, if they are not nurtured appropriately will grow up to become arrogant, narcissistic adults who thinks they are always right without an ounce of thought and guilt towards other people.