My (late) mom’s birthday was on the 31st of July and a thought passed by. I wondered how she celebrated her 40th birthday before because, to be honest, I don’t really remember what happened back then. I was 16 when she reached 40. I was a 16-year-old at boarding school so there is a likelihood that I wasn’t there when she had her birthday.

That is if she had a celebration. I couldn’t find a picture or documentation of how it was back then. I just hoped she enjoyed her 40th birthday.

Sometimes as a person looking at another person’s life from the outside – it is easy to just say something about it. For example, when you see adultery, it seems logical for the victim to make a report and just leave. The fact is, it requires a lot of courage and determination on the victim’s part to make a very big decision especially when you have put up with it for so many years.

Similarly, it seemed easy to just tell my mother to seek divorce from my dad, at the time. However, when you’ve spent more than half of your life with someone called a husband, things get a bit complicated to dissolve. Especially when it involves children and extended family members. I am sure for her there was this part in her that kept saying to her to be patient, and that all will be well one day. Only that day never comes.

From her story alone, I learned that Love, Affection and Respect can stand alone. You do not need to Love someone to Respect them. Affection is enough. Although Respect is stronger.