There is this part in the movie that I liked. When Otto was asked about the type of books his wife Sonya used to read, he replied “Her books. I am just not into reading”. But he did build bookcases for Sonya because that was what she liked. He made a kitchen that was suitable for her height. She constructed a lot of stuff around the house.

I once read that although Opposites Attract, the spark will only last a certain amount of time. While you may be intrigued and excited in the beginning to discover and accommodate your differences, there will come a time when there has to be some sort of basic and common understanding between one another. There must at least be a parenting style you guys agree on, a family ritual you hold on to, the social circle you introduce to one another.

Barulah ‘persefahaman’ renews itself and binds the relationship together.
If not, after 10 or 15 years, it is just going to be one of those ‘tak sehaluan, tiada rasa kasih dan sayang antara kita’. Even 10 children could not save the marriage. In the end, you’d just pray that one of you dies first and the one left behind gets to move on how their heart had desired all this while.

Finding a supportive partner is scarce nowadays. My sister told me about her friend a few months ago. Her friend was doing a food business from home selling a dish that she cooks very well and that her friends loved. Once she collected the order, she prepared the meals, did the packing and the delivery herself. Her husband saw her little project but did not once lift a finger to help. He was not even willing to watch over the little kids as his wife was trying to get things done in the kitchen. The wife was puzzled and disappointed with his attitude. She was still able to confront her husband about it and demanded some enlightenment about his behaviour.

His answer was astonishingly simple and UNIVERSAL. Universal meaning THIS WAS NOT THE FIRST TIME I’VE HEARD OF MEN GIVING THIS SAME REASON. It was also the same answer a fellow blogger received from her partner when she was doing a passion project. It goes something like this.

” I do not see the point of putting sweat and labour into this project of yours. You are not getting much out of it. There is no monetary gain out of this apart from the tiredness that comes from it. It is a useless project”.

Well sir/ss, you may have overlooked the part that it was a labour out of love and that it was something that your wife/partner was very happy to get herself involved in. So for people like this, I would usually pray on their behalf that this husband/partner be met with circumstances in the future that will make them think about what they’ve said to their wives/ partner.

This also made me understand why some people choose to confide with other people outside the family. It starts with confiding, it ends with a romantic relationship. Nowadays when I look elderly looking people in a relationship, who are a bit too lovey-dovey, it is almost certain that it is their second or late marriage. Cause ‘original partners’ do not behave like that. If they do, that is one of the most rare form of marriage relationship ever to happen in Malaysia.