You do not get to choose how and when you die. Everything is written. Termaktub. In Al-Lawh Al-Mahfuz.
If you are meant to die because of a plane crash – even if you’re not flying in the skies that day – the collision can still happen on the ground while you are on your motorbike or walking by. If you are meant to die because of a heart attack. – it can also happen regardless of whether you are behind a car’s wheels or a plane’s wings. Every day could be your last. Every moment is to be savoured and lived to your very best.
At least that is what the Elmina plane crash reminds me about. I am waiting on its full report. I really want to know why it crashed.
Anything too violent or sensual in a scene of a movie would most likely get censored by the board. Of course, some would say – the audience will still be able to find the full version online, I’d say, yes.. go ahead and find them online. Until then, the rest who don’t plan or who do not have access to these online resources might as well enjoy the censored version.
I remembered a few years ago, a local movie producer was unhappy that a lot of his scenes were cut by the board due to violence. He further argued that viewers are mature and old enough to know what is right or wrong. I am not denying that given a choice, some people can still make better choices other than resorting to violence when altercations happen. Perhaps he has overlooked one very important aspect of being a human being apart from being able to perform an executive cognitive function.
EMPATHY
Someone who plays PUBG may not go around shooting people. Someone who enjoys p৹rnography may not indulge in the same act in real life. However unlimited exposure to violence and séxual arousal may give rise to apathy. Dalam bahasa melayunya, tiada rasa kasih dan sifat belas kasihan. It is no longer shocking to see someone get shot on the streets, it is no longer awkward to have unprotected intercourse with a stranger or someone with familial ties. What was once a taboo is considered normal and modern. What mattered more is I scored better with more dead bodies, with more body counts etc. It doesn’t matter what happens to those in the losing team or if my partner was comfortable and achieved an ৹rgasℳ.
If any of you have seen the KDrama series Dr. Cha, you would recall a scene where Dr. Cha’s MIL was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. While she laments about her illness, the other members of the household who are coincidentally doctors took the diagnosis as something ‘normal’ that happens in everyday practice. They were so logical about it, laying out treatment options and success rates while at the same time forgoing the most important aspect of being a doctor, having a sense of empathy.
Thus apathy is already observed within those who are learned or with the knowledge in situations that mean something bad, terrifying or with a poor prognosis. What more those who are minors that do not have much life experience? To them, it is just another shooting game, another movie or another séx scene. If apathy is allowed to linger for too long in an individual, they would not be able to understand the feeling of caring towards each other, being responsible and adopting a proper social role. There is a worry that they will become selfish when they couldn’t differentiate between personal empowerment and being a dick. Everything is just me, me, me.
It is MY individual right to make this decision
I am doing this for ME
Only MY happiness matters, why is everybody not respecting that?
Therefore when experts express their concerns about the influence of digital technology – do pay attention. Digital technology is not something that we could put a leash on nowadays. I have to admit, censorship can only do so much. Therefore, the onus is on adults with the awareness that part of being human is having the ability to be in other people’s shoes and have care towards one another.
You can always count on the users on Facebook to extract interesting videos from Tiktok for a bawang/dissecting discussion. Recently, there was a video of a lady having a casual talk with her partner in the car. Her boyfriend was making a comment about how he wouldn’t approach this particular girl (probably on social media) because he felt that she was out of his league. The lady responded with something like, “Are you insinuating that I am below her level?” to which the guy replied that it’s got nothing to do with her being at a lower level but was unable to bring forward his points in a better way. The lady probably proceeded to post the initial conversation on the tiktok and got a response from it because what happened next was that the couple broke up. The guy sent a few messages stating that she probably deserved someone better because ‘people’ were saying that she should. I would think these are fellow tiktok users as well. Then he requested that all the things he gave her throughout their relationship be returned. The young lady obliged as evidenced by her tiktok video.
Now, there are a few things in the video that raises questions. Honestly, I was intrigued.
One : Do people nowadays just keep their phones in record mode all the time? Like every single, intimate moment that you share with your significant other? Especially on very sensitive matters?
Two : I am interested to know how long has this relationship been going on and what this couple do for a living. Because…
Three : The gifts this lady received are items I consider quite costly for someone in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. I wouldn’t expect this kind of gift from my husband-then-boyfriend even though we were both working as doctors. This goes on to my next point.
Four : League shouldn’t be perceived as level/caste although the concept is somewhat similar. It can be however be understood as a circle.
Point One
Inevitably this could be true. It gets even weird when you see people cry on video in response to a sad or traumatic event. I am intrigued by the thought process. Has pressing the record button become so instinctive that in any event, the thumb would automatically go to the camera app? Or do they hold back their tears for a while, turn on the camera and continue the motion? I would understand making a video talking about feelings or thoughts after crying as a method of processing the emotional situation. But to record it while having an emotional breakdown?
I am not saying that people who are doing it are dumb. I just want to understand the thought process. Are they genuine or is this a variant of narcissism or part of being a pathological liar? What consequences are we going to be looking at in many years to come? How will society be at the time?
Even during a clinic session, I find that patients like to keep their video on although it has been made clear that all consultations are confidential. Are they planning to post the conversation on social media as a background voice for their videos? Are they planning to sue the clinic for something?
Point Two
The couple seem very comfortable with each other because the guy was able to talk about the league issue. However, like any relationship, regardless of how many years, they need to explore the many forms of communication and the type of world they are living in. This is after all the world of social media and heading strongly toward artificial intelligence. I find it is good that they are able to have an open discussion with each other although probably due to experience, one side is quick to jump to a conclusion and the other party is unable to carry the argument in a positive direction.
Point Three
I saw at least two shoe boxes, a digital pen? and god knows what else in the snapshot of the gifts she received from her partner. Clearly, this couple is in a different league compared to me because they speak a different gift language.
During my own courtship period, I remembered going on a lot of meal dates and being given a watch for my birthday. To me, that was appropriate for our type of relationship. Of course, I have friends who go on holiday trips with their boyfriends. Then there are some whose boyfriend buys them branded items for special occasions and such because it is something that they can do and afford as a couple. It is their love language.
This brings me to the next point.
Point Four
She is not in my league.
The guy said to the lady that it is not a level thing – which I believe is true. It is a social circle thing. For example, I find Min Yoongi attractive but would I pursue him? Of course not – because he is from a different league. Although our love language is coffee, he speaks Kimchi, and music and raps hundreds of syllables in a minute. I speak nasi goreng, diabetes and talk like a mouse.
THEN…
Does that mean my husband is below his level? Again. Of course not– we just walk in a different social circle. This is probably what the guy was trying to say when he said ‘why would I even want to try?’ but unfortunately has been misconstrued by his partner. Maybe he couldn’t find the right words to describe his point and since their conversation was recorded and uploaded to social media – other ‘people’ decided to give their emotional two cents and basically ignited the fire in their relationship.
If the lady had taken the moment to clarify and process the meaning of the conversation instead of putting it on a digital platform, this love story would have probably had a different ending. Anyway, they seem like a nice couple and I really hope that they will find a way to make amends. OK?
There was a part in this book that said our body can pick up environmental cues that will either help you to lose weight or otherwise. This fact has always been around but rarely emphasized as a significant factor in how we view obesity. This also reminds me of how the people in Greenland look the way they are over time due to environmental influences. The genetic coding mutates and adapts itself to the environment!
I am having an exam today. It will be in essay format. I have made a plan earlier to turn in to bed early so that I could have an early rise at 400am to do some revision. I was able to reassure myself of that and went to bed quite happily not having an ounce of worry about what the questions would be. However, there is also another triggering factor of my anxiety which is rain. No matter how hard I try not to think about it, I get really anxious when it starts to rain. This is because I know there’s going to be a few consequences from the night rain.
On a school day, it will mean an early leave for school and work because I do not want to get caught in the traffic – I hate when this happens cause people still drive very fast and recklessly in the rain.
The roof will leak and my kitchen cabinets and countertops would be wet with dirty, dripping water – it can be tiring having to clean it up. I need to find a reliable contractor to fix the roof someday.
Possible flash flood and closure of certain main roads on my morning commute – it happened before and I had to find alternative routes to make sure the kids get to where they are supposed to be.
Surely if I sleep, I wouldn’t notice the rain, right? I was wrong. I could still be affected by it.
My body somehow picks up the rain cue and wakes me up from my slumber, which explains why I am up 2 hours earlier than the scheduled 4am. I tried to take deep breaths and reclaim my sleep but to no avail. My body went into survival mode. One of those I must get this problem sorted. I need to mop that floor! So, I might as well just wake up, mop the floor, make an early breakfast, blog and just start my revision early.
Thank goodness I am on leave and that I could still relax with the school run. I guess I’d have to ditch my plan of giving my sister a visit cause I’m just going to end up sleepy for the first half of the day.
It was about an elderly couple in their 60s. They have 4 children throughout their marriage. The husband was saying that his wife was too emotional. My colleague explored further regarding the problem. The wife’s concern stemmed from the feeling of being neglected – his husband was always on the phone. She is a housewife and their children have all grown up, the youngest being 20. She had no close friends and is living far from her family. The husband enjoys scrolling social media, chatting on Whatsapp and tracking his cryptocurrency investments.
Why does this remind me of my parents?
Mom was a housewife with grown-up children. Compared to this lady, Mom could drive and she had money to spend. She did not receive much allowance from her husband (only RM400/month to cover household expenses and herself) but she did get a good amount from me and my sister. Even then, when my brothers started working, this meagre amount of RM400 was nearly halved by the husband on the grounds that there were only 2 of them in the house and that they don’t spend much. I was flabbergasted and thankfully, the KEDEKUT plan was not implemented. Seriouslah.. dgn bini sendiri pun nak kedekut.
Wives don’t ask for much. They just want attention. A kind word. A nice response. An unexpected gift and all. The elderly lady earlier just wanted her husband to eat dinner with her properly without glancing at the phone. Or bring her out for breakfast. A walk at the shopping mall, maybe? He is a pensioner with a lot of time in the world, spend time sikit dengan bini tak boleh?
My mom’s husband was kind of doing the same thing. Always on the phone. When Mom was alive, he preferred working instead of enjoying quiet time with his wife. Now when Mom’s dead, boleh lak suka duduk kat rumah.
I have a feeling that Mom felt neglected due to her spouse thinking that she wouldn’t be able to carry a conversation with him. Conversations about his work, the ministers, politics, Datuk here and there – which explains why his choice of female acquaintance nowadays (since he’s a widow), are ladies that speaks fluent English, with money.. – those women in heels and modern attire. Perhaps marriages of older times were about conveniences. To chase a timeline? To beat the biological clock?
TAWAR HATI
The good thing is the elderly lady that came to my colleague is not tawar hati. She still cries and cares about her husband. She still takes note what her husband thinks about her and all. My mom was already tawar hati. Which is why she began to seek her own happiness. Malays say mencari kebahagiaan sendiri. Going to religious classes, go shopping etc. Her tawar hati has reached a level that if her husband died, she wouldn’t shed a tear. The thing is Allah has His own plans – He invited my mom to Barzakh first.
Perhaps there is good in this after all. And now we siblings are left to attend to her husband’s antiques.
As for the elderly couple, the wife was referred to the counsellor for further exploration of her issues. I hope all ends well for them.
Minci Moss 