Tag Archives: divorce

End of life divorce

Posted in Everyday Life, Parenting, Family and Relationships by

Here is an update. My dad, the widower, got married to the woman of his choice recently. All of us siblings were not in Acheh to celebrate the big moment due to an ajak-ajak ayam situation. It is difficult to put it into writing. Thus, best to be talked about in person for those who are keen to listen. As adult-children, it never occurred to me that we could actually be terasa hati of the wedding ceremony, but then, I learned that other people in my circle have experienced similar things. So yes, despite the unfavourable circumstances, we still wished and prayed for our father’s happiness.

However, this alleged abrupt, unplanned, last-minute wedding brought something to mind. It was one of those ‘I get it now’ moments.

I knew two elderly women who asked for a divorce from their husbands at their deathbeds. At times when they were conscious and aware of what was happening. Back then, I did not understand the need for these actions. I thought, ‘they have lived all their lives with their partners, if they wanted a divorce, shouldn’t it have happened earlier? After all, their kids are all grown up with a job, earning a decent income.’ Interestingly, when these requests are made, the husbands somehow agree and verbalise their talak.

Of course, it was only later that I knew that these ladies had tried asking for guidance from the court regarding fasakh before. Only to be turned away with words like ‘why would you want to ruin a masjid (marriage) because of a mere problem/misunderstanding’. Or that they did not have enough proof to call for a fasakh. In other words, they did not receive the rightful counsel for their problems, as they were housewives deemed not educated, who depended on their husbands’ money.

But that was not my point.

My assumption is, the end-of-life divorce happened because they were treated so badly and unfairly by their partners throughout the marriage, so much so that they do not want to unite with them in Jannah. You know how we always say ‘Semoga jodohnya berpanjangan hingga ke akhir hayat, hingga je Jannah?’ Yes, they hate their husbands so much that their last effort to cut any ties was through a divorce, even on their last breath.

I get it now.

Divorce going public

Posted in Current Events by

When I first came across the news of Cik Epal’s upcoming divorce from her ex-husband, I was taken aback. Cik Epal and Jofliam were often seen as the ultimate power couple in the blogging world. Cik Epal had already made her mark long before Instagram and TikTok became popular, standing out as one of the top bloggers of her era, back when blog-hopping was all the rage. As a reader, I’ve always associated the couple with their luxurious and somewhat open lifestyle. However, this just goes to show that, as outsiders, we can never truly know what goes on behind closed doors.

Earlier, in Fazura’s situation (another public figure), it gives off an impression of neglect, possibly due to her extroverted nature and independent outlook on life. It almost feels like her partner may have forgotten to shower her with the affection and care she deserves as the love of his life. Regarding the nafkah issue, I understand where she’s coming from. While her husband may have fulfilled the obligatory nafkah by providing shelter and food, she seems to long for more thoughtful gestures, like receiving pocket money. Although it’s not mandatory, any wife would surely appreciate the “princess treatment,” especially from a man who earns well through his movies and business ventures. I know I certainly did whenever I received the occasional, unexpected duit raya.

In Cik Epal’s case, I was appalled to learn that the situation involved an extramarital affair between her partner and a co-worker. However, another thought crossed my mind. The next woman in his life would have some big shoes to fill, especially if he still wanted to remain in the spotlight. Cik Epal has been building her brand since her youth, and no amount of fame on Instagram or TikTok could rival the loyal fanbase she cultivated through her blog. In fact, we, her readers, accepted her husband largely because he was Cik Epal’s husband—not because of his own social media presence. Even now, Cik Epal continues to thrive, bolstered by a network of peers within the industry.

When it comes to public figures like Fazura and Cik Epal, divorce often becomes a highly scrutinized affair, especially when children are involved. Beyond the emotional toll, the situation can get increasingly complicated as decisions about custody, co-parenting, and the children’s well-being come into play. The messiness isn’t just about dividing assets or managing public perception—it’s also about ensuring that the kids are shielded from unnecessary drama. For individuals like Fazura and Cik Epal, who have built strong personal brands, navigating these challenges under the public eye adds another layer of pressure. At the heart of it all, however, is the hope that both parents can rise above the differences for the sake of their children, ensuring their needs and emotional security come first.

October tragedy – a month of divorce

Posted in Everyday Life, Parenting, Family and Relationships by

Since celebrities are inevitably in the spotlight as part of their career demands, Malaysian netizens have been reading about their divorce cases almost on a daily basis. So much so that memes begin to crop up to the extent of degrading the lady divorcee. Words like ‘mari semua, semakin ramai janda untuk dihalalkan‘ seems like a poke of fun when in fact, no one would ever know the harm it has brought to their emotions and their family. Especially when children are involved.

Some celebrities and bloggers have even tied the knot for more than 15 years and still decided to call it an end. Either way, there must be a good reason for it. I mean, no one wants a divorce because there is too much at stake. Perhaps their Sabar has gone up to its max that no amount of reconciliatory effort is able to fix the broken marriage.

As outsiders reading about this news on the feed, it is easy to be influenced by such ‘trends’ as the divorced beings would cough up reasons such as ‘self-worth’, ‘self-happiness’ and ‘forever is a long time’. While it is empowering to create your own happiness, sometimes you need to step back and look at other empowering examples around you where they fight for their marriage behind the cameras.

Where husbands lower their egos and wives lower their tones. This may not happen all the time but it is the imperfections of the marriage that keep us occupied to mend it, upgrade it focus on it for the rest of our lives. All happens in ordinary living circumstances where the houses are not aesthetic, you don’t wear couple outfits and the meals are not always nutritious. A situation where the working lady of the house makes or buys meals for family dinners. The working man trying to get DIY done but never fully completed. Or in cases where an elderly wife dutifully serves her husband and the husband returns the favour by putting empty dishes in the sink with no attempts to wash them. Followed by the husband bringing home snacks while the wife nags about its horrible taste endlessly until the next morning.

And yet the marriage holds up and the couple stays together.

Orang kata, “kalau hidup berpaksikan artist, influencer, selebriti.. maka itulah kehidupan sama yang kita akan ikut dan jalani. Maka kenalah pandai memilih apa yang kita hendak ikut “

A life centred around public figures often places more emphasis on appearances and external success, which may not align with our personal values or goals. This can create pressure to maintain a certain image, even if it doesn’t truly reflect who we are. However, if we can take inspiration from public figures without losing our own core values and principles, it can be a positive motivation to achieve our own life aspirations.