A communication breakdown happened recently. At my workplace. I haven’t experienced such reprimanding from a superior for a while. It felt like I was a houseman back again. Only this time, I am older (by age) with more work experience. This made me feel less intimidated by the attempt of another person wanting to exert their power over me.

There were mixed advice and comments when other colleagues learned of our little meeting. Some said we should resist the authoritative commands and stick to what we have been doing all this while. Others said to just go with the flow as at the end of the day, the superior is the head of the team and anything done needs her approval and clearance. What do I think?

Play safe.

LOCUS OF CONTROL

In psychology, there is a concept known as ‘locus of control’. An individual with an internal locus of control would perceive challenges or life events as something that they could control and change its course. They have confidence that their knowledge, skills or whatever ‘power’ it is that they have in their hands could help them surpass the obstacles. An individual with an external locus of control tends to think that their life events are wholly determined by fate, luck and chance. So much so that even if they pass an exam due to their own efforts, they tend to think that it is because the paper was designed to be easy.

I believe that we all have a mix of both. In fact, as we perceive the world around us, we may have realized that there are certain things that we can control, we can influence and that we do not have control of.

So, back to the problem.

What I can control

I can control my attitude and feelings in response to the reprimanding session. I can concentrate on the facts of the matter and improve on that. I do not need to dwell on the matter for too long and instead take steps to work towards what is required for a fruitful discussion or consultation.

What I can influence

I can influence how we choose to continue our meet-ups or modes of communication. I can influence how my team members work with me. I can try to make them like me or avoid me at all costs. The key word here is influence. Thus, I must be prepared to accept that despite my attempt to influence, some people just wouldn’t budge from their actions and stand.

What I cannot control

Which brings on this part of the challenge. I cannot change everyone’s school of thought. Everyone has been brought up in a certain background and exposed to a variety of life circumstances. This forms their personality and perception of the world. While I may attempt to influence, it is something that I cannot control.

The ultimate controller lies in Allah S.W.T. He who moves the world and the hearts of people. This is why although sometimes I think I cannot control something, I still believe in the power of doa, the power of prayer. Ask from HIM all that your heart desires and if it is something meant for you, InsyaAllah it will be granted. It is only a matter of time.