A few weeks ago, a colleague told me,

“You look so calm and your manners have always been so accommodating to other people – I had no idea you had struggles of your own. You looked like you had everything under control”

The moment you decide to build your own family – that is the time when you decide that other people will somehow matter more in your life than yours. It is an unpopular opinion in the Western world but this is what the Collectivistic Culture of Eastern civilization is built upon. Hence, to have a mix of both cultures is actually good. You do not want to be too Individualistic and self-centred either because a lot of people are making the mistake of taking self-love too literally.

I realized that it is important to plan your family especially when you DO NOT HAVE ALL THE MEANS in the world to build your life around it. Especially the commodity of money and time. That means planning the spacing of years between your kids, their education goals, future financial support, their baseline social circle etc. About the latter, there will inevitably come a time when they find their own wings and create their own social network. As parents, it is important to reassure them that despite their adventurous and tortuous path navigating childhood, adolescence and even adulthood – their baseline social support will always be around for them. It could be parents, siblings, grandparents, favourite neighbours and such.

A few weeks ago, my son and niece had their Sports Day at school. My son, not wanting to trouble me said, “You can just drop me off here and then come back later in the afternoon”. Obviously, I had a different opinion. I told him I was staying because I wanted to watch him in the parade with his costume on. I also want to see him participate in Tarik Tali. He gave one of his cheeky smiles because obviously, that was what he wanted without being too direct.

The weather was hot. Thankfully, I bought my coffee in the Tyeso Tumbler. It has become my favourite because of its straw with the cover feature. I chose it in the colour bora because I am ARMY. hahahaha. There’s a YouTube video on that soon – just wait for it. I bought one for my husband too. His is in black. My colleagues at work loved it too and they have bought one for themselves too. Talk about micro-influencing.

Getting back on the topic, I have a few social events as well towards the end of the year. There will be a wedding in Kuching (November) and Miri (December). There are going to be birthdays and other forms of socializing. The highlight every year : Wedding Anniversary.

Then there is this sibling issue going on that needs taking care of. My sister and I have a sibling matter to sort out that involves another sibling. It is a matter that needs to be handled delicately. In short, almost all of my weekends are full of family commitments. When can I retire?