Dear Mader in the grave,

Happy Birthday. Your kids are doing okay so far.

As for your ex-husband, he’s currently moving on. I mean, why not. It’s already been 3 years since you died. He is getting to know a lady from abroad. He sent us a long text message telling us about his intentions to Insya-Allah getting hitched soon. He also shared with us the criteria for a woman he sought when he first started dating. He wrote about how he filtered out a few ladies because they were not his type.

Here’s the thing mother. Someone’s taste in looking for a potential partner never changes. There is always that underlying criteria that is shared regardless of how many men/women someone’s been with. For example, even if I have a bias in BTS, you’d be surprised to know that the bias is chosen because, at the end of the day, the bias is just like my husband. In character. The only difference is that the bias can dance, rap and compose a song. And of course with commercial features.

Back to Dad. As he told us about his idea of the ideal woman he’s looking for – that was when I realized that you were not his type. Which explains the kind of life that you led. It somehow made me reminisce back on a few moments when he tried to form you into the type that he wanted but perhaps to no avail. You were after all a woman with a strong will who also knows what you want as well. You were smart even though you have no scroll to prove it. Alas, the world back then was not built for women to become independent. You can but it will be very difficult. Dad was somewhat your means of sustenance and so you just made do with what you have. Forgoing your dreams, your wants and needs.

I suppose you both feel happier now. Separated from each other by death. Because neither of you wanted to be the bad parent who wanted a divorce. You get your peace. Dad gets his ideal partner. It may be a bit too late for both of you. But then, perhaps this is what Shakespeare means by All’s well that end’s well?