Here is an update. My dad, the widower, got married to the woman of his choice recently. All of us siblings were not in Acheh to celebrate the big moment due to an ajak-ajak ayam situation. It is difficult to put it into writing. Thus, best to be talked about in person for those who are keen to listen. As adult-children, it never occurred to me that we could actually be terasa hati of the wedding ceremony, but then, I learned that other people in my circle have experienced similar things. So yes, despite the unfavourable circumstances, we still wished and prayed for our father’s happiness.

However, this alleged abrupt, unplanned, last-minute wedding brought something to mind. It was one of those ‘I get it now’ moments.

I knew two elderly women who asked for a divorce from their husbands at their deathbeds. At times when they were conscious and aware of what was happening. Back then, I did not understand the need for these actions. I thought, ‘they have lived all their lives with their partners, if they wanted a divorce, shouldn’t it have happened earlier? After all, their kids are all grown up with a job, earning a decent income.’ Interestingly, when these requests are made, the husbands somehow agree and verbalise their talak.

Of course, it was only later that I knew that these ladies had tried asking for guidance from the court regarding fasakh before. Only to be turned away with words like ‘why would you want to ruin a masjid (marriage) because of a mere problem/misunderstanding’. Or that they did not have enough proof to call for a fasakh. In other words, they did not receive the rightful counsel for their problems, as they were housewives deemed not educated, who depended on their husbands’ money.

But that was not my point.

My assumption is, the end-of-life divorce happened because they were treated so badly and unfairly by their partners throughout the marriage, so much so that they do not want to unite with them in Jannah. You know how we always say ‘Semoga jodohnya berpanjangan hingga ke akhir hayat, hingga je Jannah?’ Yes, they hate their husbands so much that their last effort to cut any ties was through a divorce, even on their last breath.

I get it now.