Category Archives: Parenting, Family and Relationships

Outings at Kolej Permata Pintar Negara

Posted in Parenting, Family and Relationships by

My son is lucky that his place of study is relatively near to his home. So much so Mr Husband can make a visit every fortnight to help him with his laundry. On weeks when there is no outing, the husband would grab the laundry basket, shoot it at the nearest laundry mat and then return it to him with an outside meal. They would usually spend a father-son moment in the car, eating junk food while watching movies. On weeks when Ee has an outing, we would take him out to Aeon Seremban or someplace nearby, also do his laundry and send him back safely.

The students also have outing bermalam. So, those who stay nearby could use this privilege to go back home and spend the weekend with the family. Parents are allowed to fetch these students on Friday after 1230pm but they must return to their hostel by Sunday before 6pm. Once they are done with their outings, they have to return their outing book to their wardens. Ee being Ee, has forgotten to return his book twice resulting in him being punished. Thankfully parents can still visit during normal visitation hours on the weekend. So, that would mean another meal on wheels at KPPN. I told him to set the alarm on his handphone every time we send him back nowadays.

On this particular weekend outing, Mr Husband scheduled Ee for a Scrabble competition. The tournament was at Shah Alam and Ee participated in the game with his cousin, Echa. Ee secured 4th place while Echa was the first runner-up. He said he was unlucky because he had 2 rounds with the champion. Honestly, I think he should try harder and stop making excuses. haha.

The next time he’ll come home will be in December for the final year of school break. Then, he will be in Aras 2 in 2025 welcoming his younger fellow students on board.

Visiting my brother

Posted in Parenting, Family and Relationships by

I made a quick visit to my brother today because I saw an IKEA advert a few weeks ago.

The IKEA advert was about a mother-son duo who went shopping together at IKEA. The son was planning to move into his new home, just around the corner and bought new furniture for the house. Throughout the video, the son is depicted as a child running adult errands. This goes to show that children will always be children in their parent’s eyes no matter how old they are.

My brother is in his early 30s and lives alone, an hour and 40 minutes from where I stay. While he is independent in knowing how to pay his house bills and such, there was something in the IKEA advert that prompted me to pay him a visit.

Moms are said to be the life of a home. When my mom died, a lot of people’s attention was towards my father. They were concerned about how he would fend for himself every day knowing that the daughters live far away tending to their own family, the youngest son also has his own family to look after. Leaving this single brother who unfortunately is not on good terms with my father. They were able to be civil to each other when Mom was still alive. However, once she died all the remaining grace was out of the door.

My brother moved out. My dad was not bothered. In short, they were fending for themselves once Mom was gone. Now that my father is in a relationship with our prospective step-mother, it left me wondering about my brother. If my mom could call from the grave, she’d probably be asking if he is doing well. If he is eating. If he is lonely. Because moms usually take care of those things for their sons when they used to live together. No matter how much they’ve grown.

It also got me thinking, if one day me and my husband are not around, will my kids look after each other as they embrace adulthood with all the responsibilities at hand? I would love to think that they would but it’s something that would slip our minds if we don’t ponder on it enough. If all siblings take care of each other, no one would have to be homeless or end up alone on the streets. I would hate for it to happen to our family.

So for my ‘wellness visit’ to my brother’s house, I decided to bring him some home-cooked meals. It took me just about 2 hours to get everything done. I made him spaghetti bolognese, shepherd’s pie, baked macaroni cheese, rice with potato sambal, fried rice, burgers, grapes, fruit salad and a potato salad. I even bought him a 1-litre carton of Bright Cow milk because I wanted him to try something new. The theme is pretty much Western for now.

He was well, alhamdulilah. The house was clean. Probably because my sister gave him a heads-up. He admitted that he vacuumed and mopped the house just before we arrived. He even put Sponge Bob on the TV for my daughter to watch. Something kid’s friendly, he said. My visit to his home was short. But I am thinking of making this a routine visit every 2 or 3 months. So that he knows that even mom is not here anymore, we siblings are still here for him and care for him just like mom used to.

October tragedy – a month of divorce

Posted in Everyday Life, Parenting, Family and Relationships by

Since celebrities are inevitably in the spotlight as part of their career demands, Malaysian netizens have been reading about their divorce cases almost on a daily basis. So much so that memes begin to crop up to the extent of degrading the lady divorcee. Words like ‘mari semua, semakin ramai janda untuk dihalalkan‘ seems like a poke of fun when in fact, no one would ever know the harm it has brought to their emotions and their family. Especially when children are involved.

Some celebrities and bloggers have even tied the knot for more than 15 years and still decided to call it an end. Either way, there must be a good reason for it. I mean, no one wants a divorce because there is too much at stake. Perhaps their Sabar has gone up to its max that no amount of reconciliatory effort is able to fix the broken marriage.

As outsiders reading about this news on the feed, it is easy to be influenced by such ‘trends’ as the divorced beings would cough up reasons such as ‘self-worth’, ‘self-happiness’ and ‘forever is a long time’. While it is empowering to create your own happiness, sometimes you need to step back and look at other empowering examples around you where they fight for their marriage behind the cameras.

Where husbands lower their egos and wives lower their tones. This may not happen all the time but it is the imperfections of the marriage that keep us occupied to mend it, upgrade it focus on it for the rest of our lives. All happens in ordinary living circumstances where the houses are not aesthetic, you don’t wear couple outfits and the meals are not always nutritious. A situation where the working lady of the house makes or buys meals for family dinners. The working man trying to get DIY done but never fully completed. Or in cases where an elderly wife dutifully serves her husband and the husband returns the favour by putting empty dishes in the sink with no attempts to wash them. Followed by the husband bringing home snacks while the wife nags about its horrible taste endlessly until the next morning.

And yet the marriage holds up and the couple stays together.

Orang kata, “kalau hidup berpaksikan artist, influencer, selebriti.. maka itulah kehidupan sama yang kita akan ikut dan jalani. Maka kenalah pandai memilih apa yang kita hendak ikut “

A life centred around public figures often places more emphasis on appearances and external success, which may not align with our personal values or goals. This can create pressure to maintain a certain image, even if it doesn’t truly reflect who we are. However, if we can take inspiration from public figures without losing our own core values and principles, it can be a positive motivation to achieve our own life aspirations.

Read, in the name of Allah

Posted in Good Things, Parenting, Family and Relationships by

I am happy that my daughter could read. She knows her numbers and alphabets. And she can read the Quran.

My father-in-law passed away recently from the complications of his kidney problems. It was an anticipated death as we knew that his condition had deteriorated and that his prognosis was grave. It was only a matter of time before he succumbed to his illness. He died on a Wednesday evening at 625pm in his own home in the presence of his family members.

We called the ambulance and requested a paramedic to come and confirm his death. A police report was made and the necessary rituals were in order. His death was open-heartedly accepted. His grandchildren also understood that their grandfather was not with them anymore.

While waiting for the Jemaah from the masjid to come, my daughter picked up a Yasin booklet and began to read. It was comforting to see her focus on the words and recite the Yasin independently on the chair. I was beside her reading my Yasin but I could hear every single word being read and it was accurate. Her ability to read not only allows her to learn new knowledge but also portrays comfort to the adults as a 6-year-old kid. She is also doing her bit to help her grandfather go through the Afterlife in the realms of Barzakh.

Indeed kids that read are such a blessing.

Kids enjoying their staycation

Posted in Leisure & Travel, Parenting, Family and Relationships by

My son came back home for the school holidays just a week ago. While I was in Kuching attending a wedding, Mr Husband brought the kids to KL for a staycation. They stayed at Silka Maytower.

The kids enjoyed the pool and they sent me pictures of their adventures at KLCC and Ikea Cheras. Most importantly my son had a wonderful sleep throughout the school holidays. So much so that he missed handing in one of his assignments that carried 6 marks. I was obviously crossed. I had to remind him to finish his coursework before putting his head on the pillow. He is like his father, mata ayam. Easily dozes off when the day becomes dark. He learned his lesson.

I noticed that he is getting taller at an impressive speed. Despite not taking his meals regularly because he prefers to charge his social battery more, he seems to be having growth spurts. Again, I have to tell him to at least take one main meal during the day and at best all main meals. He usually skips dinner but he will have a heartful lunch. I dislike the idea of him having too many snacks in the dorm. His father keeps buying him those packet drinks which are full of sugar as well. I get him Bright Cow milk instead for his skin, teeth and bones. I just hope he drinks it.

He is picking up badminton as his sports choice in the evening. I did not see that coming. He never seemed like he enjoyed it before. Come to think of it, we’ve never exposed it to him. With us, he has only known chess, scrabble and ping-pong. He did join the sepak takraw club at school but they haven’t been practicing much. So his interest waned.

We paid him a short visit today as we were coming back to Melaka from Putrajaya. He was alone in the dorm because his dorm mates are from Seremban, so they tend to sleep in their own homes during the weekend. This leaves him as the only one in that room of 3 students to participate in the gotong royong where they clean their rooms every week. Seems a little unfair but it’s already towards the end of the year to be raising this issue. Plus, I think that it’s good that he gets his movement on the weekend. Maybe if they reshuffle next year (do they?), he would have roommates who could keep him company over the weekend. Anyway, the flu bug has caught up with him as well. He has been having shivers and sniffles. Mr Husband bought him some paracetamol and cough syrup. As usual, the motherly advice is to shower regularly, brush your teeth, wash your face, eat regular meals and drink lots of plain water.

Looking forward to bringing him back in another 2 weeks for his outing bermalam.