Category Archives: Ponderings & Personal Development

Jasmine VS curry leaves

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Last week I had to make a choice between relocating my Jasmine tree or my Curry Leaves tree. They were both thriving but in the near future, if I don’t do something about it, they will be competing for the same nutrients, soil, water and sunlight. They grew so well that I have failed to anticipate that the space they are in – is not enough.

Which one of them is more important to me?

The one ‘more important’ get’s to stay where they are whereas the other one will have to be dug up and relocated. With a risk of it dying during the process. The Jasmine flower, if my memory served me correctly, was a plant I bought from Shopee at least 3 to 5 years ago. At the time, I wanted something fragrant to be put into my green tea. I also wanted something in my garden that smells sweet. Something that reminds me of gracefulness yet sturdy. There was a time when it was stunted and it just did not want to grow until I placed it in the current soil. That was when the leaves started turning green and soon enough more branches were sprouting from the original tree. So far a few buds were already out, waiting for the time to just bloom in full force.

The curry tree was originally in a pot. Then, I de-potted it and placed it on the ground. To my amazement, the tree began to grow from the height of just my calf to now above the knee. In fact, new branches are erupting so freely that the leaves were becoming so bushy. I have been plucking the leaves for my curry, cucur and buttermilk chicken dishes. The smell itself is so aromatic that sometimes I’d just walk past, so that I could smell the fragrance which brings on the meaning of a home-cooked meal.

My final choice

I kept my Jasmine tree and relocated my curry tree. The Jasmine tree to me was a plant very close to my heart. There is something very personal about it. Furthermore, I believe that the curry leaves tree will somehow survive it all. It is a strong, spicy tree. Of course, it is currently dying but I believe with time, given the right motivation, it will grow sturdy again.

Prepping children for the world we want them to live in

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“I will support him in whatever he wants to do”

“He doesn’t have to get Number 1”

“Dunia akan kiamat jugak… modern education is not relevant”

As much as I’d like to convince myself as the parent that’ll say the things above – I cannot help steering his educational journey in a direction for the world I think I am preparing him to go to. They type of world or ways of living that need good grades or some sort of kecerdikan to get what they want. Often I hear of parents who choose to get off mainstream education for a bigger purpose. To me, it is fine because they have set their minds for their kids to live a certain life as an adult.

Kids are sent to Tahfiz because their parents want them to memorize the Quran and become Khalifah more religiously. To shun Dunia and accept akhirat fully.

Kids are enrolled in Sports school because the parent dreams of the child excelling as a sportsman, to compete and bring pride to the country.

Kids go to boarding schools because these institutions provide the opportunity for them to climb up the social ladder and give back to their families in the future by earning a good income and reputation.

Some parents withdraw their kids from all forms of literary education altogether be it mainstream, private, tahfiz or homeschooling. As they prefer the child trained to earn a living to fulfil their basic needs such as food, water and having a roof over their head.

Either way, it is the responsibility of the parent to prepare the child for the world they are aiming for. There is only so much as an outsider of the family can offer assistance, awareness or aid to encourage children to get an education.

The Haji issue

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My understanding of going for Haji before this was;

  • You need a minimum of RM1300 in your Tabung Haji (TH) account before you are eligible to apply and register for your Haji turn
  • The Haji trip will be subsidized and are handled by TH accordingly
  • Everyone has a chance to go to Haji because of TH and keeping your money with TH allows you to grow your wealth through the various Syariah-compliant investments available.

Recently, this announcement came up. The Jemaah are categorized based on their income and must make the necessary payments to do Haji as per which group they belong to. I wasn’t really taking heed of the issue until a few of my friends began to raise some ‘puzzling’ points about it.

HAJI is WAJIB only if you can afford to do it. The key word here is berkemampuan. This means that you are in a position where you can do so. This comes in the best form of health and wealth. Therefore what happened before this is that the Malaysian Jemaah will undergo a health check-up before their departure to make sure that they are in the pink of health. Furthermore, during that time – the trip was heavily subsidized thus it is important that the member who benefits from this – can perform the Haji after all. In other words, even though you are unable to pay the full package of Haji on your own, as long as you are healthy and can fork out the minimum amount per pax, you can still go and perform Haji.

Of course, there will be issues of Haji group members who are adamant about still going for the pilgrimage even though medically they are not fit. That is a different story and it gives healthcare practitioners a lot of headaches. It’s because these Haji clients, mostly elderly, will start making remarks like doctors are evil, doctors are sabotaging Allah’s invite to Mekah etc. You get the picture.

This year something new happened. The Jemaah are paying for their pilgrimage trip based on their income categories. The financially adept one, the T20, is to pay the full package price as compared to those who are earning less. The M40s are also required to pay a certain amount which is double what the B40s are paying. It is unclear how much the quota is for the number of T20 and M40 people who are going to Haji but here is what’s bothering my friends. The M40 and T20.

The T20s are still waiting for their call to Haji. However, as I said, it is unclear the quota distribution for Malaysians based on income. So although they are physically healthy and have enough money to go, they can’t go. The M40s are stuck cause while they may appear ‘financially adept’ – it is still a lot to pay as compared to the B40s due to other life commitments. An M40 in a city may live a life just like a B40 in a rural area. Then there is a health issue where guidelines are issued by TH of what level of health status is allowed to join the Jemaah. Morbid obesity and uncontrolled NCDs are all a big NO to performing the pilgrimage.

Then there is an issue of ‘unfairness’ for these payment tiers to existing as it is largely known that those who invest highly in TH, those who made it possible for subsidized Haji to happen are the T20s. Thus, rising the question – shouldn’t everyone get to benefit from the subsidized Haji trip? Why the double standard?

But of course, it is not my place to question these decisions. Perhaps there are other things unbeknown to the rakyat regarding this announcement. It is still my right to write about this here in my personal blog so that I could look back on it in the future and still ponder, WHY.

Geleum

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Marriage is not for everybody. Nor is having children. But once you decide to have them, you should try your best to give your best. Amidst of the craziness happening inside your head.

Children soak things like sponges.

Adults guide them to root their beliefs to the ground because as the children grow up, they will start seeing the many deviant things. New, exciting things.

It will become moments of

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I get now why Allah said it is a big sin to kill people

I understand why love means different things to different people at a different time

Family – broken or not, you don’t get to choose your parents

You don’t know what your destiny is

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Imagination is one of the best things for a human to possess. You get to create your utopia in your head. But when the utopia spills out from the barriers of the brain, insight and logic – you are what they call as crazy.

Camera crew skills

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Anugerah Juara Lagu (AJL) was on air last week and a lot of people made comments about how poorly the show was recorded for a LIVE event. The camera was shaking, they captured irrelevant parts of the performance, images were not sharp etc. I didn’t watch the programme because there wasn’t anybody who I was rooting for to become the winner. I love Dayang but I can always listen to her wonderful songs on Spotify. However, I have watched AJL previously and I guess it is a recurring problem when it comes to watching the live show on television.

There is a glaring difference in quality when you’ve watched a BTS concert LIVE through your computer screen. I bet the view is more magnificent at the place itself as you could see their flawless faces on the huge screen. The experience of watching their concert is mindblowing even though you’re many miles apart. I began to appreciate the art and skills of the cameraman more having watched BTS. In fact, it’s not just BTS. Come to think of it, when you shoot K-pop groups, you need to employ a different technique/angle for the best results.

Indeed that was what I gathered when I watched a TWICE performance on an American talk show. The American crew doesn’t seem to know how to capture their choreography well. It made their performance seem bland with no personality. Not to mention, the audience at the talk show was also dull. If I was a TWICE member, I’d probably cry at the sight of a lifeless crowd. The silence was deafening.

In a way, this made me realize that the quality of your photo or video can project different meanings to those who perceive it and they are not always the best versions of what you intended to be in the first place. I have been procrastinating in my YT video editing lately because I was just not motivated. Ironically, I am studying Motivation this semester. I have a vision of wanting to capture my videos like haagrendal but it seems like too much work. Plus, I am not an aesthetic person. Maybe I should just go with the flow like ji hyun.