Tag Archives: raising a boy

Kids enjoying their staycation

Posted in Leisure & Travel, Parenting, Family and Relationships by

My son came back home for the school holidays just a week ago. While I was in Kuching attending a wedding, Mr Husband brought the kids to KL for a staycation. They stayed at Silka Maytower.

The kids enjoyed the pool and they sent me pictures of their adventures at KLCC and Ikea Cheras. Most importantly my son had a wonderful sleep throughout the school holidays. So much so that he missed handing in one of his assignments that carried 6 marks. I was obviously crossed. I had to remind him to finish his coursework before putting his head on the pillow. He is like his father, mata ayam. Easily dozes off when the day becomes dark. He learned his lesson.

I noticed that he is getting taller at an impressive speed. Despite not taking his meals regularly because he prefers to charge his social battery more, he seems to be having growth spurts. Again, I have to tell him to at least take one main meal during the day and at best all main meals. He usually skips dinner but he will have a heartful lunch. I dislike the idea of him having too many snacks in the dorm. His father keeps buying him those packet drinks which are full of sugar as well. I get him Bright Cow milk instead for his skin, teeth and bones. I just hope he drinks it.

He is picking up badminton as his sports choice in the evening. I did not see that coming. He never seemed like he enjoyed it before. Come to think of it, we’ve never exposed it to him. With us, he has only known chess, scrabble and ping-pong. He did join the sepak takraw club at school but they haven’t been practicing much. So his interest waned.

We paid him a short visit today as we were coming back to Melaka from Putrajaya. He was alone in the dorm because his dorm mates are from Seremban, so they tend to sleep in their own homes during the weekend. This leaves him as the only one in that room of 3 students to participate in the gotong royong where they clean their rooms every week. Seems a little unfair but it’s already towards the end of the year to be raising this issue. Plus, I think that it’s good that he gets his movement on the weekend. Maybe if they reshuffle next year (do they?), he would have roommates who could keep him company over the weekend. Anyway, the flu bug has caught up with him as well. He has been having shivers and sniffles. Mr Husband bought him some paracetamol and cough syrup. As usual, the motherly advice is to shower regularly, brush your teeth, wash your face, eat regular meals and drink lots of plain water.

Looking forward to bringing him back in another 2 weeks for his outing bermalam.

Raising a son – secondary school

Posted in Everyday Life by

When I was young, the only option I was presented and given was to enter a boarding school. My parents had faith in my intellectual ability to perform well in primary school and set me apart from other candidates to be considered for a place in one. Back then, I had no idea that the several extracurricular activities I participated in were part of the ‘points’ that would contribute towards the selection process. I honestly did it because I knew I could do it and it was fun. So there was me in a storytelling competition, choral speaking, ‘deklamasi sajak’ and traditional dance. Then there were the more ‘academic’ ones like spelling bee and maths quiz. I wasn’t good at sports though.

I sat for the UPSR. Had an IQ test done. Called for an interview. And then I was offered a place in Sekolah Tun Fatimah, a boarding school in Johor. I never set foot in any mainstream secondary school back then. Hence, it puzzles me as to why kids nowadays may need to attend their supposed secondary school first before knowing if they are selected for any other school of their choice. It disrupts leave taking plans for the parents and such.

I got to know of the term ‘feeder school’ lately. Primary schools feed their students to designated secondary schools. Therefore the first choice is always the said school whether the student like it or not. They can put in their preferred choices underneath the initial school. Obviously, schools with high academic performance with minimal social issues are popular and it could be tough trying to go in. Hence, for able students – most parents like myself would go for the obvious – choose boarding schools.

For our son, we applied for three different streams. The MRSM and Sekolah Khusus boarding schools as the first two and UKM Pintar.

Options for Sekolah Khusus

Admission to UKM Pintar is through a series of assessments and that is an ongoing process. I will write about that in a different post regardless of the outcome. As for the earlier two, it involves sending in an online application and then sitting for their respective exams. My son sat for Penilaian Kemasukan Sekolah Khusus (PKSK) a few weeks ago and soon there will be another assessment for the MRSM intake. There is another option for secondary schooling – home schooling. But I know I do not have the emotional capacity to undertake that one. I will leave that to the more capable parents.

I am keeping my fingers crossed for my son’s success. I hope he will be placed in a secondary educational centre that will give him good opportunities in the future.

Planning for a transition from primary to secondary school education

Posted in Everyday Life by

I have no plans to have another baby because my kids are at an age where they have started school. I want to create an environment in the house that will cater to their studies and upcoming adolescent years. It is exhausting to go through their wardrobe and pick out clothes that no longer fit. Then packaged them nicely in the bag for donation or recycling. I want that part to happen less frequently so that I can focus on other things better – like having a personal space, becoming authentic, encouraging creativity, instilling human-ness etc.

Personally, I feel that is what parents should do in this world we are living in. Memanusiakan manusia. I know my son is capable of learning, memorizing and calculating the academic side of things. Furthermore, established schools are known to be successful in doing that due to the quality of syllabus and training of their tutors at school. I have no qualms about that. I should alongside that make sure that my son has positive values that are aligned into becoming first class citizens. To be kind, empathetic, respectful and religious in a non-threatening way. These traits need to come from home.

My son will start his secondary school education next year. Mr Husband and I have submitted our applications to a few MRSM-based and SBP schools. The school also encouraged their students to participate in UKM’s Sekolah Pintar online exams. This is our son’s 3rd year attempting the questions and he managed to secure an interview with them soon (UKM3). We have yet to be informed of the interview’s date but it requires the presence of parents as well. Perhaps they wanted to explore the student’s family background and get to know us better.

As a parent, I am happy for his achievements so far. Nevertheless, I am also nervous of what the future has in store for him.

Mothering up

Posted in Parenting, Family and Relationships by

We always talk about child and adolescent development but Erikson kind of made it clear that human beings grow and develop themselves their whole lives. Recently, my youngest daughter asked me if I have any more babies in my tummy because she wanted to become a big sister. I told her I don’t have any more babies and that she could always become a bigger sister to her baby cousins. It was at that moment, that it became clear to me that yes, I have made a conscious decision to complete my family.

Having said that, it would mean shifting my focus toward raising a son who is already in his early adolescence year and my daughter who is in preschool. Thus, it would be wise to let go of all the baby stuff and revamp the house environment to support the development of my kids into personalities that will bring them further in life.

As of now, this will be a mental note.

  • I am currently too exhausted to do spring cleaning during Ramadhan but I guess I am ready to say goodbye to all the strollers, baby carriers, soft toys, baby books, baby Tupperware and all. so, there will be mass decluttering later after Raya and I have lots of candidates at my workplace, those who are still building a family who might want these things for their children.
  • I would need to be more active in not only their studies but also their emotional well-being, especially my son who will at one point undergo puberty. The recent experience of forwarding my complaint to the school’s headmaster kind of mustered my courage to do more for not only my kids and my nieces but also for their friends.
  • Planning ahead a direction for their future. Money. Type of school. Something that spells out ambition.
  • character consolidation. kids should turn out better than the parents. better than me.

Thinking about this is making me tired already. *yawn*

Sparkle Run Melaka 2020 – a rare weekend activity

Posted in Everyday Life, Hobby/Interest by

The announcement for this event came out very early. At the time I was contemplating on joining or otherwise. There are a few factors that I have to take into consideration whenever I choose to participate in a weekend activity.

  • Kids friendly or otherwise
  • Duration of programme
  • Venue of programme
  • Husbands schedule

If I had to attend a formal course on a weekend – then that is without a doubt, a must go. No question. No need to discuss. But when it comes to something of choice – I need to deliberate.

On Saturdays, my husband works in the clinic for at least half a day. On top of the weekday locum slots he is assigned to. He needs to fulfill his percentage of clinical work since he is most of the time doing a non clinical form of job.

On Sundays, or Saturday sometimes , he has to give community talks, organize gotong royong in a taman affected by dengue fever (which the residents don’t attend anyway) and god knows what other stuff involving handshaking the higher official menteri and such.

In a way, my Me Time or weekend activities need to also consider the above. His timetable. Safe bet is, I plan my stuff and inform him way in advance before he arranges his schedule. With frequent reminders hereafter so he wouldn’t forget through shared digital calendars, physical calendars, watsapp notification and verbal ones via the kids. Ha ha ha.

Sometimes he still forgets. Like my bellydancing session in Bangi. He made me cancel. I said No. He had to rope in his parents to help and we were grumpy towards each other the whole weekend.

Sparkle Run Melaka 2020

This run was announced many months earlier. I was thrilled for I could plan ahead. This is my first run so I am not quite sure what to expect but reading from other peoples experience of other runs – it should be a short run. Indeed it was. We came for the 0830am flag off and noted that those who went for the 0700am flag off has safely received their medal and on their way home.

The run venue was near to home, so it’s a plus point.

It was stated kids friendly but from the email, it discouraged bringing kids less than 2 years old. So I didn’t bring Ninie. On that day however, I saw other runners bringing their kids in strollers. Dayum.. I could have done the same.

My 5km run with Ee was done in 43minutes. We were pleased with ourselves and will consider joining other runs later. If it fits my weekend activity criteria.

Weddings , grocery shopping for instance are kids friendly activities with a less than 3 hours duration. The difficulty level may differ depending on the variables for the day – husband presence, kids mood or Will to Cooperate, the crowd etc. Even then I still need to plan my grocery trips – is it better to go Family Store where they help you to pack your stuff with less variety or to Tesco with good variety but hands off attitude when it comes to packing customers grocery. In both situation – I bring my own shopping bag. But Family Store was more willing to help.

Anyway, now that I find Fun Run interesting – I will now need to juggle future runs with other cropping weekend agendas – Ee’s skill classes, weddings, birthday parties, courses, visit parents etc etc.. thankful for my faithful HoboMinci.