Category Archives: Ponderings & Personal Development

Efficient public transport is a dream

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For the next few months, I will be stationed at a rural health clinic on a two-weekly basis. The location is an extra 5 km but to be honest, it takes ages to arrive there because of the horrible traffic. It would be really cool if we have this system where the local is able to make its pickups and drop-offs at all the important checkpoints every 10 – 15 mins. Hop-on, hop-off anytime. Politicians obviously have no interest to champion public transport because it’s just not glamorous. Not to mention that it involves a lot of money, inter-agency coordination and brain cells to keep the project running.

If I leave the house at 7am with the kids…after the usual school run, I would normally reach the main clinic by 730am. If left at 715am, I could still reach work before 8am. The distance from the main clinic to the rural clinic theoretically would take me another 7 mins. Unfortunately, due to traffic, I was only able to reach there a few minutes after 8am.

I tried leaving the house at 645am but because it was raining, I still arrived at work late.

I decided to use another route which is a few KM further than the usual route. Guess what, I could arrive before 8 under just a few minutes. This alternative route is however not suitable to use after the afternoon school run.

I dream of the day when there are only buses, monorails, bicycles or motorbikes on the road where it is easy for me to just swipe my card and go anywhere my heart wishes without worrying about the traffic.

Giving chances

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If you understand the nature of the plant, given that you have provided it with what it needs to thrive, give it that chance to find its stem and grow...

I did some cleaning in the garden recently. Repotted quite a few plants to extend whatever life they have left. Knowing that some of these plants grow by just sticking a branch into the soil, I told myself to just give life a chance and allow it to take its time. Some need just the right sun exposure and water. Indeed, patience paid off.

Similarly, in an organization, community or family – if you believe in the best traits and character of that member exist within him/her, provide them with the right tool, skills and guidance so that they may find a way to externalize those qualities that make them the best in what they do.

Strawberry

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It seems that strawberries are in season in South Korea. BTS Jin gifted SK’s favourite chef, Fuxtom with some during his visit to a strawberry farm. Then, there were a few SK Youtuber’s making videos surrounding the fruit’s theme. It seems that South Korean’s take on strawberry is different from Malaysians. Indeed, a friend who travelled to the country said that their strawberries are bigger and sweeter than what we have here. No wonder SK’s love them so much.

The strawberries I buy in the supermarket here is a gamble. Although it has the prettiest red and pinkish hue, most of them taste sour. Even then, I would still buy them as I kept on hoping that I would get lucky with a sweet one.

It reminds me of a toxic relationship sometimes.

Knowing that most of the time, you’d be treated like crap and yet you stick to it because you’re still hoping for that one moment that you’ll be a queen in his eyes. Although it will never come.

Take a picture of the sky every time you miss her

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It’s a trending reel on Instagram. I had thought of jumping into that healing method as well but never got around to doing so. The ‘miss her’ part is often substituted by heaves of silent sighs. Macam ada feeling tak complete although when I try to remember back, I don’t really talk to my mom that often when she was alive. I was just never the talking about my life type. Even then, Alhamdulillah, Allah bestowed upon me a daughter.

She is a charm. She seems to have a high degree of emotional intelligence for a child that surprises me sometimes. She would ask me if I was Ok. If I was happy? I mean, what kind of child asks an adult those sorts of questions. I know my son doesn’t and he is in primary school. My kids are my world. My daughter especially. If anything happens to her, I think I would hit rock bottom.

Today, I finally got around to cleaning the guest room. We haven’t been receiving guests for a very long time since Covid19 struck. The room had that abandoned, musty smell. I opened the windows to air it out. Hoovered the floor and changed the bedsheets. Then, I saw something on the dresser and was automatically brought to tears.

It was my mom’s crystal bracelet.

It’s been in that room for god knows how long and if I didn’t clean it, I’d probably not know that it was there all this time. A piece of her. To keep. I had to take a moment to calm myself down when I found the bracelet. I thought I’ve passed the time where one would be missing their loved ones deeply but it seems that I haven’t. Instead, I realized that I have always missed her and those feelings are suppressed by the stress at work and the busyness in managing the household.

Grief is love with nowhere to go

I asked my sister if it was OK for me to keep the bracelet. In case she loved the design. She said I could keep it. I couldn’t really explain that feeling of comfort I have when I wear the bracelet. At least bila tak dapat ziarah kubur, I have this bracelet sebagai pengubat rindu.