Tag Archives: motherhood

Im not judging you, just feed

Posted in All in a days work, Parenting, Family and Relationships by

It has become a common phrase said to first-time-young-mothers who often hesitate in admitting that they have been giving milk formulas to their newborn babies ON TOP of their breast milk.

IM NOT JUDGING YOU, DONT WORRY

I am a first timer myself and without strong moral support, breastfeeding is not as easy as how other mothers make it. I remembered how anxious I was when I was not lactating until D4 of life for Baby Zeeq. Then, theres the anxiety of proper positioning and suckling method. later, I had to deal with the pain of breast engorgement that no one told me about and the 24/7 leaking!!! At that time I only had Mr Husband with me as we were ‘working overseas’.. away from both of our parents and other elderly people. There was no home visiting services in my area .. so you could imagine how difficult it was for the both of us as we try to understand that new phase of our lives. And honestly people.. learning virtually from the internet is not as effective.

Plus with Baby Zeeq yang sik mok nyusu tete’… nang dipalin koh mukanya dari badan kita.. kakya nya nangis lapa.. hati neh sik give in. So I too resorted to formula milk at the time. It kept the baby quiet and full. I also gave in to the use of pacifiers. It honestly broke my heart having to do that because I had all these ideals in raising a child. Exclusive breastfeeding as one of them. But… hmm.. *sigh*

I owe an apology to Baby Zeeq. InsyaAllah now that Ive known better.. I will not make the same mistake with Baby No 2 in the future.

But perhaps judging people out there would be more kind and willing to accept breastmilk feeding as opposed to pure breastfeeding per se. NO?

Rockaby baby, on the tree top

Posted in Parenting, Family and Relationships by

 

 
“A well-spent day brings happy sleep”
Leonardo da Vinci

 

Everynight Id be wishing that Baby Zeeq would sleep through till next morning. Or at least waking only once at night for his feed and then fall back to sleep. Instead, he’s a waking nightmare!

But I have to admit its been a lot easier now. 

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When he was a neonate( less than 28 days), he’d wet his diapers so often that Huggies ran out almost every week. He’d pooh at least a few times a day and believe me, a chore…  as he does his business at night. Well, at least I know he’s on the normal side. Still, it was hard work especially when you are also trying to heal from a Caesarean scar. Sometimes I felt like the stitches were going to split from so much ‘getting-up’ activity and OCD-ly check them in the mirror everytime after a nappy change.

As baby reached his 1 month mark, I find that he pooh-ed only twice a day. Thankfully, at predictable hours. Still waking up at night but not shrieking for a nappy change. Just for feeds every 2 hours. Then he’ll be back in Dreamland. After a gentle swaddle.

Now that he’s 2 months plus.. I can see the pattern in him waking up. Once before midnight, around 9 or 10 PM. Then, at Midnight. next at 3Am and the other at 5Am. On good nights, he follows a 3 hourly waking strictly. On a bad night however, he would choose whatever hour to wake up and wail his heart out. A swaddle never works, the spring cradle rarely. not even the manual moving half naked mother. Yet, persistence is the key. And thats when I’ll be getting a headache the next morning. And he’s not sleeping much in the day either. SuperBaby!!!

Im still hoping that he’d change. Obviously the Day 61 theory did not work. Perhaps theres a Day 91 theory? Fingers crossed. I’ll need the sleep once Im back to work next month.

 

Paternity Leave : What Fathers Should Be Doing

Posted in Parenting, Family and Relationships by

 

“Any man can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad”

Nowadays in Malaysia, new fathers are granted a 7 day paid leave. A full one week ‘holiday’ entrusted to men so they may fulfill their obligations in welcoming the new member of the family. It is not the time to laze around fathers. In fact, these are the recommended things you can do within your 7 days.

 

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1. Hands on, with the baby

Its normal to feel slightly quesy or awkward to hold a newborn. They’re so little (unless its a macrosomic baby) with fingers and toes so dainty, it almost feels like you’re going to break any one of them anytime. However do not let that intimidate you, this is YOUR flesh and blood… plus, you’re not feeling this alone. Mothers, especially first timers may feel nervous too of having to hold their baby. Get over it, handle the babies carefully and it would provide great relief especially to the mother as she has an extra pair of hands that could help at least change the wet nappies every now and then.

2. Assume domestic responsibilities

Brew some tea, make some coffee. Toast a bread, stir fry nasi goreng etc. Soak the linens, wash your own clothes, buy groceries. Sweep the floor, make the bed, draw the curtains.. I can go on and on but I think most people have the idea already.

3. Sacrifice a few hours of your sleep time

At least for the first 6 days. Considering that you’re not working, it would be of great assistance to help nurse and change the baby’s nappy at night. Mothers, especially those who doesnt have the luxury of a nanny or an elder,  on top of just having a Caesarean section could really use some help. I know I did. Thank you.

Finally,

Be an active advocate for your wife and newborn child

There will be plenty of visitors to the house along with probably some unwanted advice. As a husband, I think it is very important for you to know how and when to put your foot down in relation to things or practices that may harm your wife and baby. Things like drinking god-knows-what herbs, unknown origin of ointments for the baby..

Then to ensure to your very best that both wife and baby have their privacy and aurat (for the wife) protected at all times. I think that is the outmost importance. Just because you’ve just given birth, it doesnt mean that its alright to flash your hair and boobs liberally.

That should sum it up. Wonder if Ive left anything out.

What makes her a good mother

Posted in Everyday Life, Parenting, Family and Relationships by

   

   “There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one”
 Jill Churchill
 

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She is always willing to go an extra mile in giving her best to the family. She also goes to great lengths in ensuring everything is done well. She never sighs. She never regrets and never consider her offsprings as a burden. She’s always there for everybody. She is brave and courageous to go against all odds.

Above all, she’s a good mother because she’s a good wife too.

 

Yes, these are part of the qualities that I think a good mother should have. The soul which nurtures people around her till they achieve their best.

 

 

Jadi mak kena rajin, kena berani.