Category Archives: All in a days work

as a medical officer

Emotion overload

Posted in All in a days work, Good Things by

It was a bit of a roller-coaster ride this week. Mixed emotions of anger, despair and elation all rolled into one. Not knowing which had a greater impact to the physical being – just realizing that at the end of the day, the physical body succumbed to exhaustion drowning still, in adrenaline. Not even my usual cup of coffee helped to ease the tension. And an extra cup was not much of a help either.

20140929_095254

I never expect people to understand the tiredness that comes with working in the Operation Theatre (OT) or in Casualty. If my fellow colleagues in other departments couldn’t even get why budak2 GA penat onkol OT padahal duduk tepi mesin je.. how would I expect other people to understand. Or those who thinks us in Casualty just knows how to shout orders and sit at the desk writing case histories??

Well my dear.. if only you understand the gravity of an Adrenaline Rush. Its when the potential of all your 5 senses are heightened firing rapid, fast, continuous impulse to your brain. In a way, it prepares your body for a fight or flight situation. Imagine this happening for long hours everyday – inevitably the mental fatigue and physical weariness ensues.

percayalah.. even though the anesthetist looked like their just watching the vital signs monitor – a lot of things are racing through their mind.

What if the patient woke up

What if the bleed continues

What if this, what if that

haih. penat. 

So yes, sounds very negative right? Until something happened today. Dalam marah2, tak puas hati and kelam kelibut.. and of course the adrenaline rush..  God carved a way to forgiveness and redemption.

A colleague needed help today and like reflex, everybody put their differences aside and worked together as a team to stabilize the patient. And for a while everyone had amnesia of how much trouble some people caused some people.

Consequently? I felt less tired and happier. *peace*

A possibly tragic October

Posted in All in a days work, Everyday Life by

Just thinking about next months roster and added responsibilities are already making me an emotional wreck. Not to sound melodramatic, but family time would be affected and my son would probably not recognize me as Mummy. Maybe the mumia mummy. Huhu.. exaggerate lebih.

img-thingCA355MK0

But then again, who am I, a little medical officer in a district setting to complain? oncall sikit pun nak cakap banyak? yah yah.. Im sadapping. I’m sure my counterparts in the tertiary hospital are having yo-yo feelings regarding their job as well. Their job demands are tougher, they deal with more lives than we do.

Big, profound changes are coming my way soon. I would say most are half-baked ideas but then an orthopedic surgeon once said, if you can’t give a solution to the problem, don’t even think about raising the issue”

So yeah, keeping mum.

 

Of passing exams …

Posted in All in a days work, Everyday Life by

My colleague and I passed our skills exam recently. The questions were not leaked like the recent UPSR paper thus the success felt more sweet and deserving. We studied diligently for the theory and practical aspect of the exam – we pooled our resources and shared what we knew with each other. All this for an exam of a 1 day course. 1 day theory, next day exam. Ha ha. Even Mr Husband was impressed that I was reading something serious. LOL.

“Omg.. I can’t believe my wife is studying … you haven’t opened a proper book for two years!!”

Yes, his exact words in his sarcastic, sing-song tone. Ahem.. I have been opening my books in between traffic light stops okay..

terpaksa belajar takut fail then malu dgn haousemen

On my part I did not feel the need to hide any extra information – I never was the type who would do that anyway because I honestly think that there is nothing to lose by sharing the ‘extras’ that we have. In fact, the more we share.. the easier it is to achieve a certain goal  – in this case, saving a patient’s life – because we are all thinking along the same line of thought.

While some advocate for an exam-free environment, I for one is a strong supporter for the implementation of a formal exam to gauge one’s competence in skills and theory. An exam should not be the sole measure of one’s ability though, and should be supported by ongoing informal observation of one’s character and interaction with others in his/her daily duties. At least that is what Pan-Ro in Good Daughter, Hana (Korean drama) thinks. And I agree.

Nevertheless, the passing or scoring on an exam is not to give one a reason to gloat over the success. It should in fact serve as a reminder that many aspects come into play to get such good results – hard work, smart play and team effort. On top of reinforcing the knowledge that we thought we have and is doing it right and safe.

Now that I’ve passed – I feel more confident to guide my colleagues who didn’t have the chance to participate in the course. At least I can say without doubt,

” aku dah belajar canne nak buat from specialist – come I teach you and we learn the proper way ” 

 

The team is down by 3..

Posted in All in a days work by

“you might want to decide fast. We live in a dangerous world. If you see a chance to be happy, you have to fight for it, so later you have no regrets.” 
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Bleeds

So they say, ” the grass is greener on the other side”

In 2014 itself, I see a few transfer requests and resignation letters already handed in to the hospital director. Some say

“its just time to leave”

others say “I want to make more money”

What was more important to me was seeing how happy they were after they made the decision to leave. I couldn’t imagine myself leaving ones comfort zone for something new. That needs you to explore again, forge new relationships and such. Perhaps this is what they meant by chasing their dreams and to make sacrifices in between.

Yes, we make sacrifices so we could gain something MORE out of the bloody, sticky situation. An end gain they say. If you’re still stuck in the horrible situation and not getting anywhere with it, its not called a sacrifice and dont let any hospital director tell you likewise,because then its just anew form of slavery. Working your butt off for long hours only to have your annual leave denied et cetera.

This month alone, 3 smart brains are leaving. And these are senior medical officers that we usually consult and turn to when we have a sherlock dilemma. Their motivation to leave was to experience that greener grass at the other side of the field. I honestly wish them all the best and hope they get what their heart yearns for.

As of now, I am content in being a possible chronic MO as I find Anaesthesia no longer the R.O.A.D to happiness that my intensivist once described it to be.

R – Radiology

O – Opthalmology

A – Anaesthesia

D – Dermatology

Love,

th_coffee