Measuring own mental health

We are not like avatars in a game where we have imaginary bars hanging above or beside us to measure our health status (physical and mental). We don’t have beeps that tell us we need to recharge, get a life or warn us of impending danger.

Mindfulness is perhaps the most IN thing mental health advocates in recent years to at least help an individual gather insight into their mental health status. As for myself, I kind of discovered a trend in my lifestyle that serves as hints to power up or take a step back and chill.

My mood tends to be at its most positive at least 2 weeks after my 1st day in the menstrual cycle. During this moment, I tend to feel like I can conquer the world. It can be quite dangerous as I’d tend to say ‘yes’ to any projects that come my way, only to regret it later in the cycle. Haha. However, I realized that the surge of emotions and motivation is experienced rarely nowadays. It is because I haven’t been shopping for good food and kept up with the cleaning of the house.

Stocking fruit and vegetables in my fridge is an indicator that my mental health is at its optimum level. There was once I went without this food group for weeks. Meaning I still eat them by buying them outside (in small portions) but I don’t get some for home meals and snacks. The fridge was an awful sight. There were no green, leafy vegetables. Just desserts and leftovers.

Another indicator of good mental health status for me is laundry. If there are too many piles to fold, that means I need to start getting my tasks in order. Usually, my husband would pick up the chore and start folding. Eventhough his method is a bit different, I’d close one eye just so we could clear the pile.

Other indicators of my mental health dwindling

  • bathroom sinks need scrubbing – meaning I haven’t scrubbed them off toothpaste debris and whatnot for quite a while
  • out of facial cotton pads – applying toner with hands only, and not keeping up with my skincare regime. This needs to be addressed quickly as it will lead to a vicious cycle of acne laden face
  • social withdrawal – not joining others for lunch, going back home beeline in front of the thumbprint machine, not chipping in thoughts etc.
  • the work desk is a mess -an unorganized working space
  • procrastinating on studying
  • too much online shopping – there’s a need to fulfil an unexplained emotional void with stuff I buy online

Once the boxes of these indicators are ticked too much, I’d usually be unwell. Or acne starts showing up. It would take a major cognitive shift to just buck up and settle the problem. The shift either occurs after a movie with a significant impact or some drastic social event in life.

On second thought, maybe I should exercise more often or do some gardening every evening, to keep the endorphin levels high.

IU at Cannes Film Festival

Can I just say she looks gorgeous? So gentle and poised. She radiates class! Loved her outfit and the pieces of jewellery that came with it. Something unfortunate happened though. She was ‘shouldered’ by an influencer at the event – apparently a rising makeup artist? The act was caught on camera. I was curious and watched the video.

Source : allkpop.com

The clip, it showed the lady making her way through the crowd earnestly. Stomping with her heels, eyes forward towards someone. It was of course a festival packed with people. You would expect people to be squished together at a distance of less than 1 metre from each other. Knowing that, wouldn’t you be more careful as you make your way through the crowd. Wouldn’t you be muttering an ‘excuse me, thank you’..’can I pass through, thank you’ to the people around you. It was kind of obvious from the video that the influencer had no intention to be mindful of her actions. She just wants to bulldoze her way through the crowd to get to where she wants to be. So, the person she decides to shoulder could be anyone actually. It was just unfortunate that she did that to SK’s nation sister, IU.

one of the comments on the video wrote : IU be saying “welcome to hotel de luna”

Netizens were quick and eager to give her a scolding which resulted in an apology from this influencer. Konon insaf tapi sebenarnya tak kan. She offered to do IU’s makeup, yes? My advice to IU is NO, DON’T. She wouldn’t know how to accentuate your facial features well based on how she does her own makeup. You are not her target market.

Anyway, IU being IU – she probably forgave the lady.

Thank you to all my senpai

Recently a house officer died in Penang after jumping off the hospital building. The house officer was a fresh doctor having only started working 3 weeks. The HO must be at his/her wit’s end for making such a decision. I honestly cannot imagine the thoughts or feelings that run in his/her mind. Was it numb? Was it anger? Was it frustration? We would never know.

The first month of HO-ship in whatever posting will either make or break you.

I was in the O&G department. For the first 2 weeks, my feet were swelling due to the prolonged standing and walking. MY tagging hours start very early, ending at 10pm daily. I had to learn the ropes fast. It’s about getting the results to where they are. On top of knowing how to manage the cases safely as a medical officer. The mindset was to learn as fast as I can, efficiently in case we get our district postings in Kapit and whatnot. I was very very lucky to have my fellow HO senpais helping me out.

Stella. Wani Raul. Kak Pah. Marisa. To name a few.

I wouldn’t have survived if it wasn’t because of them. They have really wonderful personalities and I am so proud to see them becoming the specialist they are today. Blooming in their respective fields as a person with great character and knowledge. Patients under their care are in safe hands.

I pray that they will continue to serve the public with their expertise. InsyaAllah. For I know, I wouldn’t be able to do that.

Get the kids in bed early

If there is one tip I could give to mothers in improving their physical and mental well-being is that – try to get your kids in bed early.

Mothers always yearn for ME TIME. The meaning differs from one mother to another but the concept is the same – having time for yourself. It can mean getting your beauty touch-ups done, time to enjoy a movie, shopping, studying or worship. It could be taking a rest from the rest of the family to just do nothing and get some quality sleep. If you have an understanding partner, they will learn to give you that time even without you asking for it. Otherwise, it will be up to us to make it happen.

If my husband is around, he would usually give me My Time on Friday afternoons – the long break between office hours or certain hours over the weekend when he brings the kids to play with their cousins at the grandparent’s house (5 mins away).

My Me Time means I could focus on my part-time studies, eat in peace and just enjoy simple things that bring me joy. I do not have a specific day for it and it usually happens at random times of the week. But one thing I am sure of is that I try to make my nights free from the kids. Which is why I turn them in early. For now, early means before 10pm. But they rarely go past 930pm unless there is a special occasion. For example, takbir raya, big family activities etc. Most of the time, especially on school nights, the house is quiet by 9pm. Leaving me to attend to my own matters such as studying, cleaning the house, doing laundry, soaking in a bathtub, extra TLC to the skin and all. Of course, I am also tempted to turn in early which I usually do anyway.

So, how does it work? Don’t the kids rebel against sleeping early? So far, not much drama. They are manageable.

I finish work by 5 pm and after fetching the kids from daycare and religious school, I would usually be able to reach home by 6PM. Latest, by 615pm. I would prepare a simple dinner. Sometimes, my MIL would give us a tiffin meal if she cooks extra. In the meantime, the kids will respectively take their own evening showers, turn on the air conditioner for the bedroom and resort to their own activities until it is time to eat.

My eldest son would use the time to complete his homework. My younger daughter would either sit with him at the table doing her ‘homework’ scribbling something, read a picture book or play with her toys. I don’t allow them to watch Tv or play games on the mobile phone on a school night. So, once my son is done with his homework, he would usually read a comic book or assemble his lego. It’s a different scenario when their father is home. He is pretty liberal with TV time but that only happens on a Thursday night when he is back for his weekly visit. He is working in a different state. In other words, I oversee the kids more on their academic days.

Taking the husband out of the picture, we usually have our dinner by 7pm. Followed by Maghrib prayer and then with whatever that the kids want to do. By 8 till 830pm, I’d already been reminding them to keep their toys away and for the son, to pack his bag for tomorrow’s class. The kids would then have their milk – a mug for my son and a bottle for the girl. I have restarted my son on taking milk properly as I find that he has problems with his teeth. It is gradual with the plaque and loosening but I don’t really want all of them to fall off. He needs the calcium for his teeth and bones. Lights are off once they finished their milk and that is when my Me Time starts.

How do you allocate your Me Time?