Category Archives: Ponderings & Personal Development

Ambuyat challenge : what was wrong with it

Posted in Current Events by

A lovely Malaysian Instafamous couple was under fire recently for their own personal Ambuyat Challenge. 

Ambuyat is a dish derived from the interior trunk of the sago palm. It is a starchy bland substance, similar to tapioca starch

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To those not in the know of who this couple is, the pair are founders for a local beauty product, NSA Beauty. They both work very hard as an individual and even harder when they became husband and wife. The wife, Syafiqah Aina (SA) was a renowned Muslimah model in Malaysia and was a good one at that. They enjoy displaying their affection out loud in public and announce their love for each other through grand celebrations of birthdays and such. I mean, why not… since they have the means to do so being successful business icons.

So on one fine day during their work trip to Brunei, the husband challenged the wife to try the ambuyat. I have personally tried ambuyat or linut as it is known in Sarawak, and it is a dish which may not be palatable to everybody. It is an acquired taste. So it should be simple to understand that not everyone may like the dish including the wife, SA. Everyone has the right to not like certain food. It’s a matter of preference.

So what went wrong?

SA’s dislike towards the dish was recorded on video in a public space. Naturally, anybody would demonstrate a certain facial expression when they try something strange. But not everyone would exaggerate the response. And make a scene. Unfortunately, SA was the very few who did otherwise. She had a face of disgust and purged without a single filter in the world.

Personally, I think the most appropriate response towards a dish that you do not enjoy would be to just stop eating, decline the next serving politely and just mention it is something not to your liking. And perhaps you can try try something else. If you must purge, do it quietly in a napkin.

You do not retch loudly in plain sight with other customers at the place, run towards the end of the table, grab a tissue and make sensitive comments. It’s acts like these that makes people piss off. Imagine the cook preparing their traditional dish with great pride for a non-local to try it, only to be met by such response. I would be sad. It would be enough with an expression of ‘hhmmmm.. mungkin saya tak pandai makan ni. Tapi terima kasih tau.. ” 

The video the husband made was met with critics. (of course lah.. ) He however in defense, said that it was meant to promote ambuyat to other people. Well, all I can say is.. it sure is a weird method of promoting ambuyat. I really hope they learn a few points or two from this incident cause I still think that despite being young, they are still lovely.

Gallant husband

Posted in Ponderings & Personal Development by

Suami adalah pelindung. Walau dalam ketiadaan kita, dia melindungi kita.

Hanis Zalikha, a local Malaysian celebrity,  narrated a story on her IG of how when she had hyperemesis gravidarum – she had to relieve herself at the restaurants public toilet. Little did she know that her retching was somehow audible to some patrons at the eatery. As she returned to her table, she was met by the unpleasant stares of the staff there. She was puzzled and wondered what happened.

Later the husband divulged that a customer complained regarding the restaurants service and made a scene regarding Hanis’s involuntary vomiting to the cashier. The husband then went to the man, confronted him nicely (meaning no raised voices, harsh words or a fist) and explained the wife’s pregnant situation. He even added an apology for the discomfort it caused to the customer.

Now, if this was my version of the story, I am not quite sure if my husband would rise to the occasion and make a similar counter-attack. Perhaps I am underestimating his romanticism and chivalry, but the aftermath of an imaginary me suffering from morning sickness would probably be met by him just ignoring that man because he was just not worth his time. Furthermore, the man was already at the counter wanting to pay and do not know who the puking lady in the bathroom is.

It is just the way he is. huhu.

Patience my heart

Posted in Everyday Life, Ponderings & Personal Development by

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I am trying very hard to console myself right now. And not to regret the choices I made for 2018. But it is soooo hard my friends. I have been crying alone in my study area for the past 3 nights or so. My husband and kids are usually asleep by then. I feel 2018 is very overwhelming and yet I am expected to be calm and on top of my game. All the time.

Recently, I have to be patient with a lot of people. My husband who is gradually acquiring his Set of Attitude as a Specialist. My parents who are just, I don’t know, hmph. My brother who do not want to be helped. My work demands and related things I still struggle to understand. To them, it’s just another day. Another conversation. But to me, at the other end, I had to play along. Reserve my opinions. Suppress my anger and frustration. Because an honest comment is not everyone of them needs right now. My way of thinking and working stuff out is not the way ‘successful people’ do things. I have to buat pekak to certain condescending words as well. In the end, I yang makan hati. I yang mengalir air mata. Without them knowing it.

And it doesn’t get any better when today, I missed my son’s special occasion to receive 1st prize in his year. He came out top and I was not there to see him on stage. Because I was at work. I just hope he understands that Mummy did not have a choice. That I will try better for his next big day. I will plan my leave better.

I try to be composed and collected as a wife and mother. As a female medical doctor. As a daughter. I have been trying to shut down negative thoughts. Satan’s evil whispers. Urging me to run and leave. Not so much as jumping a bridge or killing myself. But to run. Leave the state. Like park my car at a far place, hitch a ride and just go missing. Or use my passport to cross the border ,go missing and resume a new identity. Or as simple as not arriving to work one day, only to be realized by people who care that I’m missing 8 hours later. If ada orang kisahlah. 

2018 was meant to be a year of change for the better. At the moment, I still feel that there’s a lot to manage. I find I cry more this year hence I searched for Allah more this year. Asking for His Mercy, His Benevolence and His Rahmat.  I have a problem in trusting people hence it is difficult to confide in someone. And it hurts a lot when you thought your husband, your supposed best friend and confidante has belief’s not consistent with yours.

Then aku nak cakap2, cerita masalah aku kat sapa? Babi?

 

Anyway, this is just a phase. Don’t take it seriously.

Perhaps this is PMS. A horrible PMS. Or a brain tumour affecting my emotions. InsyaAllah, I will feel and force myself to feel better in the next 24 hours. Patience my heart. Sabr. 

 

Ninie is 1

Posted in Everyday Life, Parenting, Family and Relationships, Ponderings & Personal Development by

When I carried her in my womb, I had an inkling that this could be a girl but it wasn’t really confirmed until I finally saw her during my Caesarean section. She is turning 1  years old today. Some say she is a spitting image of my mom. To me, she is a mixture of my face and my husband’s.

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Haneem meaning penuh kasih sayang

Raising a girl is more than just putting pretty clothes on her. It is a lot of hard work from a moms perspective. I am not saying raising a boy is easy, it’s just that the ‘syllabus’ is different. LOL. If I could pre-programme Ninie’s virtues – my top 3 would be Kind, Generous and Intelligent.

Kind so she would not say or do things that could harm someone elses feelings or well being. That she would choose her words carefully and react accordingly. So she would always be pleasing to Allah, to us and those who love her.

Generous so she can share if she has the means to do so. To be thoughtful of other peoples plight. And in order to give more, she would strive to have enough in the first place. And work hard for it. Which is closely linked to my final trait.

Intelligent. A young lady with a sharp mind can never go wrong. With that brain of hers, InsyaAllah she is going to use it for the benefit of her family, the ummah and humanity as a whole.

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But these virtues do not just come by on its own. It will depend on the whole village especially the parents to lay down those bricks to shape out what type of person their children will be. A daughter should have the best of what her parents can provide and this puts me in a big, big shoe. If you read the news nowadays or just scroll down the newsfeed on Facebook, there is a lot of crimes, misdemeanour, liberalism and hatred in the current society that one cannot help feeling worried for their family members. Me too, included.

Which is why it is important to include ALllah in your daily life, your decision making etc. For it is He that will listen to you and guide you through life. We can never know the future but I pray that all will be well biiznillah.I can already imagine the hurdles that Ninie  will be going through as a young girl, a teenager and later a young adult. I have had uncertainties as whether I could be the best role model for her.

Reflecting on the latter, perhaps that is why Allah bestowed upon me a daughter. We all have our own pathways in getting closer to Allah. Some through wealth, others a good career, several through building a family, a few through Death or predicaments in everyday life. Mine is through Haneem (ninie). Knowing me, who wants to be the best version of myself to both Hazeeq and Haneem – InsyaAllah, I would take steps to improve myself as not only a mum, but a muslimah as a whole.

I want them to see me who uses the talent/skills Allah give me towards doing something useful. I want them to know that I care about not only our own family but other people who needs help as well. I want them to see that I use good words in my conversations and that I always smile  the company of people, even amongst those I don’t really like. I want them to learn how to manage their emotions, their time and monetary resources by example. In short, I want them to be proud of me as a mum.

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That they would confide in me when they encounter problems. They would shower me with endless hugs and kisses. That they know I am not just a mom, but I am also a doctor who knows how to have a good time. ha ha. Above all, I want them to pray for my well being always as evidence that they sayang me a lotttttt.

Happy birthday Ninie. I hope you grow up to be a beautiful lady loved by Allah and his ummah. InsyaAllah.