July 3rd, Adam Rayqal

Malaysians were not ready to read it in the news. Nor to receive the circulating update on Watsapp regarding the whereabouts of Adam Rayqal who went missing after being allegedly picked up by an imposter who said he was the father of the child from the babysitters house that day.

But as soon as my eyes were open to start the day – it was all over social media. The 5 month old baby was found in the babysitters house, in the fridge. DEAD.

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Netizens reacted with disbelief. Netizens played detectives. Everyone was trying to put out a theory as to why Adam was in the fridge and what on earth happened and what the hell was the babysitter thinking by having a child in there.

Credit should first be given to PDRM for their efficient investigation. We wouldn’t expect less from one of the best police forces in the world. I trust that justice will be served especially after seeing a footage of the Mom screaming at the crime scene, still in her scrubs (she is a neonatal ICU nurse) – ouh, it just breaks anybody’s heart.

The babysitter has been charged, pleaded not guilty and is still under trial in court. I am still curious how this lady who also has an adopted OKU ( = disabled) child could commit such an act. Was there an underlying psychiatric disorder? Or was she that malicious? What really happened and Why did she resort to keep Adam in the fridge, concoct a story of abduction instead of calling up the parents if something genuinely did go wrong? These are questions we still do not have answers to. And we wouldn’t know if we’d ever get to read about it in the official papers. Unless we attend the trial.

You would think that in this situation – netizens would hold hands and give support to each other, comforting the mother right? NO. BIG NO. I was appalled at how insensitive some Malaysians can be on their keyboards.

Amidst the melancholic atmosphere, a particular mom condemn openly the action of sending kids to babysitters or daycare  – and gloated about how she quit her job to care for her kids because ‘rezeki’ you can find anywhere.

A man said the mom was selfish to work (she is an ICU NURSE for freaking sake) and her place should be at home to serve the husband and family. GOsh. LIKE OHemgeee.. I would want to see if the man would allow a male doctor to conduct his wife’s delivery if all ladies are to stay at home. Sheeesshh.

Another person gave lots and lots of tips on how to choose a babysitter. While the intention was well meaning and helpful to assist other parents who will make the same choices  – it sounded condescending when certain words were used like ‘sepatutnya mak dia.. bla bla bla‘. It’s not the type of thing a parent who had just lost a child would wanna hear.

So what could help them ease their pain? I am still learning how as a medical practitioner. For not one method is the same for everybody. Not everyone likes “I am sorry for your loss”. For those who are spiritual (detected through their zikr or anything relating to religion) I would try to comfort them by saying that the child is in heaven. The child is waiting for you. The child is in good hands. Something along those lines. Sometimes the parents calm down. Sometimes they keep bawling their eyes out. There’s never one method but I’d love to know how some of you deal with loss. Either as an observer or the one who had experienced it.

As for Adam Rayqal, I hope it was not painful for him. Rest in peace dear child, may Allah take care of you.

Never a coincidence – it was always Allah’s plan

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When Pakcik *Nawi decided to give me his copy of The Mathurat many years ago, it was never just a random gift. It was Allah’s mega plan. Allah was at his Most Merciful and Kind to arrange that Pakcik Nawi, should he ever died of his disease – he will get a supply of pahala through his amal jariah even without him being aware of it. Because InsyaAllah I will read it.

Pakcik Nawi was one of those patients who likes to frequent the emergency unit of my previous district hospital for minor ailments. Yes, he has hypertension and all that but above all, he was a ‘regular customer’. The kind that medical assistants can’t seem to turn away because ’emergency’ was the only place he knows where to get his supply of foot cream and fever meds.

One day he came and I greeted him happily. He was a man of little words but a smile is always plastered to his face. He was illiterate but gentle in manner as he nodded respectively while pointing at the hyperpigmented area on his foot. He was never able to describe properly what was wrong with the foot – he just wanted to apply something on it. Hence, we have to make an educated guess of what the problem could be. one day, after handing him the prescription slip, he took something out from his shirts breast pocket.

It was a brand new Mathurat. Probably given by someone else too and he said

“tak pandai baca”

I thanked him for it, kept the Ma’thurat away and never thought about it until recently.

The last time I read the Ma’thurat religiously was probably in high school. I could even memorize the Du’a and Zikr by heart. The words would just come out from my mouth smoothly like running fluid. After graduating from school, perhaps distracted in the race to pursue a medical degree and so called ‘life’ – I have quite forgotten about it. Not only the Ma’thurat but also my weekly Yasin recitals, the extra solat sunat and sadly Tarawikh even. Sangat lompong my Tarawikh. Not consistent.

Which is why I was grateful when Ayesha came to town with her Quran Tagging programme. It was an opportunity to reconnect with the Quran and Islam. It also made me reflect on why Allah is SO kind and Most Merciful and Thoughtful to have bestowed me an insyaAllah blessed marriage and these children – especially NOW with a daughter. * A different post about daughters later*. The usrah with Ayesha reminded me of the Ma’thurat again – my forgotten amal ibadat.

I have a few copies of The Ma’thurat at home but somehow I was drawn to the one given my Pakcik Nawi. It was still there on my shelf in its packaging. I’m not quite sure what has happened to Pakcik Nawi now but I hope that the pahala I got from reciting the mathurat will in a way fill up his pahala weighing scale as well and that it will help him on his journey to Jannah. InsyaAllah. For Allah The Most Compassionate, The Knower of All has planned for it that way.

General Election #14

 

I am a young mother with 2 kids. 20180509_151315.jpgI am a working mother at that  – a medical doctor. I have parents who are already in the Warga Emas category. I also have younger siblings in the belia category.

This year I voted. For the second time. In favour of the better, likeable manifesto which I feel could benefit the rakyat as a whole.

 

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Pakatan Harapan (PH) with Tun-Minator

Tun Dr Mahathir is 93 years old. It is a rare sight to see nonagenarian patients like himself and his wife walk into my clinic and still remain sharp. Still walking without a stick or Zimmer frame. Some, as young as 60 is already in a wheelchair with their children demanding for a fast lane walhal semalamnya baru dapat jalan2 kat pasar malam.

Tun has been dubbed a lot of mean names. To me however, he is the reason why I am proud to walk on the streets of Manchester as a student because muslims there love Mahathir. MAHATHIR VERY GOOD, they would say. 5 seconds later, you are their favourite Sister. LOL.

I think people got tired of the lies and the high living cost after the GST was implemented. PH offered a way out. I also hope that they would keep their word to strictly ensure the minimum wage of RM1500 AND for that wage to be equal in both Semenanjung and Sabah/Sarawak.

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The RAHMAN prophecy has been fulfilled. Its time for the MAHATHIR prophecy. LOL. 10.05.2018  – history has been made. I think I am more interested to know who the Cabinet Ministers are now that we’ve changed government. Can’t wait for the official announcement.

 

Interestingly, Sarawak (which is where I come from) is now under the governance of the Opposition Party. Ha ha ha. Well, if Barisan Nasional thinks they can do a good job – they’d better prove it on my yearly visits back to Kuching. I want better roads for the people, better access to healthcare, job opportunities and education and what not. In a way, it could be a blessing for Sarawak, IF lah, BN want to prove themselves.

PH for a better Malaysia. InsyaAllah.

Big Bad Wolf 2018 : Melaka Edition

Big Bad Wolf (BBW) is back in town.

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BBW is a festival that sells books at a fraction of its original prize. It’s a good time to buy children books especially those with pop-ups and pictures inside. I tend to go there to get books of different genre. Business books mostly. Despite not having my own business. And self-help books. I just find that I could relate some of these ideas in my everyday service as a medical doctor – leadership, team work, how to say NO stuff.

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I love to bring my son Ee there too even though all the books that he buys are comics. Well, at least at his age he loves books and reading. Later and slowly I will introduce him to books with better vocabulary and material.

Takdelah asyik menonong gi Mood Republik je kan.. which happened to be next door.

My best catch for this trip to BBW was a box set by Paulo Coelho. 10 books for RM100. That is CHEAP!!! And his books are good. The other box sets available there (that I noticed) are The Maze Runner series and The Wimpy Kid series.

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Then my next catch was this.

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This is like one of the very few history books that I have. I’d probably make another trip there again and browse through every single title at the Mystery and Thriller aisle.

 

Quran Notes Marking Gathering (QNMG) – Melaka Edition 2018

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Before I stumbled upon Ayesha’s IG account – I was already doing some sort of marking in my mini Quran. It was not that organized but it was meant for me to find back the good dua’s and also reminders from the Quran. Naturally, the spark died but I was still hopeful to reconnect with the Quran and I began searching for hashtags of #quranjournalling #quranstudy for inspiration. One day I decided to try my luck and see if there was something as simple as #qurantagging and Pom! another interesting hashtag appear. It was #ayeshashares and that was how I got to know about these gatherings. Where girls get together and learn how to build a relationship with the Quran.

I remembered telling myself if ever QNMG is held in Melaka, I will sign up without hesitancy, without doubt. And since I believe that Allah akan mempermudahkan urusan kita apabila niat dan hasilnya baik, Ayesha did came to town. I paid the fees of RM300 online, cleared my schedule for the day and informed my husband not to have any locum and what not. If he still wants to go locum – he’d better figure out where to put the kids. I forwarded the event flyers to my other friends who I think would like to go too and alhamdulilah.. Kak Hasma (a former colleague) joined in. Senanglah skit nak yakinkan husband that its not an MLM thing I’m going because the venue was in a building that has ‘enterprise’ to its name.

“Eyy.. Im going with Kak Hasma ok”. macam tuhlah dialognya.

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The gathering started at 9AM and lasted the whole day. I was pretty sure I saw someone who looked like Felixia Yeap in my class that day but I was wrong. I still think its her. HA ha. The tagging part was just a minor part of the event, which was OK. We get to continue doing the tagging back home which was so fun and meaningful. The tazkirahs were just as lovely. It was like a big study circle. There were so many points to learn and muhasabah balik. Eventhough Ayesha was only 28 years old, the things she has learnt about our Deen speaks volumes through the stories she narrated and the materials in the Quran Kit.

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She elaborated her favourite hadith, talked about solah, emphasized on akhlak and taught us about Surah AlBaqarah. She gave us tips on how to construct a doa. She joked about the bawangs. She shared with us her dreams and her inspirational figures. It has to be one of my best Saturdays ever. Not a minute of my time being there was a complete loss. I loved it most when she said TAK RUGI BUAT BAIK. And that we should not let Syaitan plant the idea in our head that doing good deeds will lead to us being manipulated and taken for granted. Just do good, be good. Allah will be by our side. I personally like to do good things (most of the time), you know, stuff by the book because I honestly hope that my deeds will help carry me to Jannah as I have no strength to huffaz the Quran. Nor to pray extra on top of the obligatory ones. I struggle to fast. I feel I don’t have much knowledge to share with anyone. So I do good deeds. Simple nice things. To ease another persons hardship. To make them happy. To make me happy.

Like giving a smile. Saying kind words. Lending a helping hand. Comforting a lonely heart. Touching ones hands & hearts. Handing a ringgit or two for those who need it. Derma online. Sponsor an orphan. Buying a meal or keropok to the hungry. Supporting small businesses. Benda kecik2 mcm tuh.

The last LIVE tazkirah/study circle I attended was probably more than a decade a go. Bila dah kerja, dah jadi mak2 ni – I have trust issues to find a good study circle. And even if I do find one, my concern would be of allocating time to attend them. Naturally bila dah lama tak dengar hal2 agama – jiwa ni haus, kering. I should have brought some tissues there. Tiap kali dengar benda yg pilu, leleh air mata. Habis mascara I. Ayesha is such a humble and wonderful storyteller and yes, since she aspires to become our local version of Yasmin Mogahed – InsyaAllah her dreams will come true.

Thank you sis. I will try my best to be istiqamah in reading my Quran and doing good deeds everyday. InsyaAllah.

 

 

 

* Back from the gathering, Mr Husband asked, ” So did they talk using Sis a lot?” I just laughed and had to agree. Everything is Sis nowadays.