My (late) mom’s birthday was on the 31st of July and a thought passed by. I wondered how she celebrated her 40th birthday before because, to be honest, I don’t really remember what happened back then. I was 16 when she reached 40. I was a 16-year-old at boarding school so there is a likelihood that I wasn’t there when she had her birthday.

That is if she had a celebration. I couldn’t find a picture or documentation of how it was back then. I just hoped she enjoyed her 40th birthday.

Sometimes as a person looking at another person’s life from the outside – it is easy to just say something about it. For example, when you see adultery, it seems logical for the victim to make a report and just leave. The fact is, it requires a lot of courage and determination on the victim’s part to make a very big decision especially when you have put up with it for so many years.

Similarly, it seemed easy to just tell my mother to seek divorce from my dad, at the time. However, when you’ve spent more than half of your life with someone called a husband, things get a bit complicated to dissolve. Especially when it involves children and extended family members. I am sure for her there was this part in her that kept saying to her to be patient, and that all will be well one day. Only that day never comes.

From her story alone, I learned that Love, Affection and Respect can stand alone. You do not need to Love someone to Respect them. Affection is enough. Although Respect is stronger.

They say when God gives you (a mom) a daughter, it’s His way of saying, “Hey, I thought you would need a best friend”. Of course, Allah knows best and if we trust Him enough, whatever things have been bestowed upon us are a blessing. Alhamdulillah.

Indeed, I couldn’t ask for more. So much so that I have decided to complete my family. Meaning no more pregnancies. With my current husband. Ha ha.

My daughter wanted a Frozen cake. I didn’t like the idea of having a Vanilla and Blueberry cake, but I bought it anyway since it was the cake she wanted. I am aware that it doesn’t taste delicious cause chocolate rules birthday cakes but it is her cake, so be it. I wanted to get the polkadot apam for her friends at school but the bakery was out of it. So, I bought mini banana chocolate cupcakes instead. I plan to heat them up the next morning in the oven and then layer it like a proper cake. At least her 40 friends in kindergarten can have a taste of the cupcake.

For presents, I gave my daughter a few day and night outfits. She got a stuffed unicorn from the dad. And nothing from the brother. gosh, brotherssss..

She loved it all and politely said a Thank You.

I hope in the event that Allah decides to take me away before her, she will remember me as the Mummy who celebrates her birthday with a song, a cake and a hug good night in bed.