Tag Archives: motherhood

Motherhood and creativity

Posted in Everyday Life, Parenting, Family and Relationships by

A fulfilling motherhood experience needs some form of creativity in place. Being creative does not mean sitting down with kids to do arts and crafts. That is only part of it. Creativity in motherhood means having the cognitive ability to solve a motherhood-related problem with solutions provided by their environment.

The Hand That Rocks The Cradle Rule The World

I am a firm believer of such especially if Mother-ing responsibilities fall on your shoulders more than your spouse. I am saying this motherhood has evolved so much over the years. It is not gender-specific anymore and we see more men taking on similar roles to nurture their children.

I feel that one of the most important aspects of creativity in Motherhood is providing the right nutrition for their children to grow up. Preparing a balanced yet interesting and tasty meal can be daunting for mothers who struggle to understand the food pyramid. In my clinical practice, I find that some mothers can formulate their own meal plans when we explain the core nutritional components that their children need. Very few need ‘spoon feeding’ into the exact meals they have to prepare.

Another aspect is in cultivating a child’s skill and building up their knowledge to get them ready to navigate the world.

A creative parental figure guides the child to solve their problems independently. Better still they could become the scaffolding support proposed by Vygotsky in his learning theories. I personally love Vygotsky’s theory as it makes sense to do such in raising children. Vygotsky’s theory of child development says that kids learn best through social interaction. They learn from being around people who know more than them, like parents, teachers, and friends.

Its main concepts include;

  1. Zone of Proximal Development (ZPD): Kids have a range of things they can do on their own and things they can do with help. The zone in between is where they need a little support to learn and grow.
  2. Scaffolding: Adults can help kids by giving them hints, suggestions, and guidance. As kids get better at something, the support can be reduced over time.
  3. Language and Thought: Talking and interacting with others is important for kids’ thinking and learning. Language helps them understand and make sense of the world.
  4. Cultural Tools: Things like language, writing, and technology play a big role in how kids learn. They are tools that help kids solve problems and understand things better.

In a nutshell, Vygotsky’s theory shows that kids learn by being around others, getting help when needed, using language, and using cultural tools. It is a strong theory in childhood education and to me personally, in parenthood.

It’s good to prepare for motherhood. Even then, we don’t learn everything in one go. In fact, one can have up to 10 children but still struggle with it anyway. This brings on to my next observation of how mothers need to be open to lifelong learning. What you know about parenting 5 years ago may differ from what you need to know now. While it seemed OK to tie a misbehaving child to a tree 20 years ago but not socio-culturally relevant nowadays. In fact, it is deemed abusive in most communities nowadays.

Motherhood is simple if the plan is only to raise a child that is alive and breathing. It becomes more colourful and varied when you plan to prepare the kids for a world you envision them to live in, in the future.

Mothering up

Posted in Parenting, Family and Relationships by

We always talk about child and adolescent development but Erikson kind of made it clear that human beings grow and develop themselves their whole lives. Recently, my youngest daughter asked me if I have any more babies in my tummy because she wanted to become a big sister. I told her I don’t have any more babies and that she could always become a bigger sister to her baby cousins. It was at that moment, that it became clear to me that yes, I have made a conscious decision to complete my family.

Having said that, it would mean shifting my focus toward raising a son who is already in his early adolescence year and my daughter who is in preschool. Thus, it would be wise to let go of all the baby stuff and revamp the house environment to support the development of my kids into personalities that will bring them further in life.

As of now, this will be a mental note.

  • I am currently too exhausted to do spring cleaning during Ramadhan but I guess I am ready to say goodbye to all the strollers, baby carriers, soft toys, baby books, baby Tupperware and all. so, there will be mass decluttering later after Raya and I have lots of candidates at my workplace, those who are still building a family who might want these things for their children.
  • I would need to be more active in not only their studies but also their emotional well-being, especially my son who will at one point undergo puberty. The recent experience of forwarding my complaint to the school’s headmaster kind of mustered my courage to do more for not only my kids and my nieces but also for their friends.
  • Planning ahead a direction for their future. Money. Type of school. Something that spells out ambition.
  • character consolidation. kids should turn out better than the parents. better than me.

Thinking about this is making me tired already. *yawn*

Sometimes I forget that I’m a MOM…

Posted in Everyday Life, Parenting, Family and Relationships, Ponderings & Personal Development by

.. which is daunting because having the MOTHER title is a huge responsibility.

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When I was young, I was fed with the universal idea that “Syurga di bawah telapak kaki ibu”. That it would be a big sin to go against the words and wills of a mother. Mulut mak masin. Meaning that whatever our mothers say – things tend to come true. So as children we become wary of these special powers a mom has.

And now I am a MOM. And sometimes I forget that now I am important to my kids. That my words and du’a , InsyaAllah will count and come true. Eventhough I still have girlish screams when I watch a chick flick or grin foolishly if Syafiq Kyle was to suddenly stop by at my clinic for a consultation for his fever. Gitew. 

I have to actively remind myself to say good things about my children. To wish happy things for them. To be careful of my words for they are all prayers to Allah. Sabar (patience) needs to be a virtue so I will not have a slip of tongue and say ‘bodoh’, ‘babi’ or any vulgar connotations of that sort towards them.

I have to make a conscious feeling or intention everyday that I love my family. I am thankful for their presence and that I will try my best to keep this amanah. For I worry, if I say the wrong things my children would turn out to be what I pray for through my words – even if I do not mean it.

Let me tell you a story.

Once, there was a lady working at a hospital as a clinical staff, who had a child of which upon birth suffered from hypoxic brain injury. Subsequently, the child would occasionally have seizures but he managed to grow up as a young man in his late teens , with learning problems due to those medical conditions. His seizures are so bad at times that he requires multiple visits to Casualty only to be discharged later at his parents own risk.

One day, he had another seizure. He must have ruffled a few feathers with his mom, the clinical staff, earlier that day because when she knew he was in Casualty – she vent out loud probably due to exhaustion or desperation – “another fit? Gosh.. can’t you just let me breath once in a while?”. Then, she used this one word which she probably regret even thinking about it later on – The exact word was ‘menyusahkan’. [burden]

Anyway, the teen was observed at Casualty and since the parents requested a discharge at own risk – he was allowed home with advice. His mother continued with her work while her husband brought the teen back home. After all, this was just another one of those seizure episodes. However, a few hours later – the hospital received a frantic phone call from the father saying that the teen was unconscious in the house. An ambulance was dispatched to their residence. The teen unfortunately, was pronounced dead by the attending paramedic.

The mother? Who actually did not meant what she said.. as you can imagine.. was howling and crying uncontrollably. She did not mean for her son to be taken back by Allah and now she has all the time in the world ‘to breath’. And that her son is not her burden anymore. So powerful is the du’a of us Moms that if we are not careful with our tongue, badan akan binasa. 

That will forever be one of the stories that taught me to always guard my tongue and use it for kind words, useful knowledge and good lessons. InsyaAllah.. 

The Shore Oceanarium, Melaka

Posted in Everyday Life, Leisure & Travel, Parenting, Family and Relationships by

Ever since Baby Ninie came into the picture – it was very difficult to have a one on one Mother-Son moment with Ee. I still manage to squeeze some quality time (meaning focused on him) in our everyday interactions during dinner, bedtime chit chats or that morning breakfast.. but any activities more than an hour stretch was hard to come by.

I finally did get that chance to spend time with him during one of my precious off days on a weekday when Baby Ninie was at daycare!

We went to The Shore Oceanarium, Melaka. I picked him up from school that afternoon, had a quick lunch at home and changed our clothes. The place was less than 10 mins from where we live by car and I managed to secure a parking lot for FREE at the 2nd floor.

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We showed our MyKad and Mykid at the ticket counter and soon we were on our mini excursions. Mind you, there are no toilets inside the Oceanarium itself, so please try to empty your bladder and the kids, before coming in.

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This was the price we paid for. The Combo was apparently for the 3D Theatre Package stuff and Souvenirs. Our Welcome Gifts included an expensive looking Fridge Magnet and a Badge. I added the Feeding Frenzy Package for Ee for an extra RM10.60. I’m not quite sure if it was worth it though. I will tell you later. We were given a plastic bag yang bergulung-gulung for that feeding part. You have no idea whats in it guys..

We were also given a piece of paper which had questionnaires on it. Kind of like a Treasure Hunt. The answers were inside the Oceanarium and upon completion, we were to hand the paper back to the reception to claim a complimentary prize even though you did not get 100% right.

Our first stop was the ‘petting area’. We get to touch a starfish, a rayfish and some other fishes. There was a lady, very friendly and was all smiles tending to us. Ee macam geli, so he refused to touch anything. Before long, we were on a momentum admiring the facts about some of the sea creatures through the questionnaires and the beautiful boards on the wall.

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Everytime we get an answer to the questions, we would put a chop to the answers. Ee really enjoyed that part. Tapi jawapan main taram je. There were plenty of places to strike a pose and there were also Augmented Reality areas where someone like Ee can berlakon a bit before taking a picture.

The Feeding Frenzy Area was our last stop. We opened the plastic bag and I was disappointed. Isi ikan yg ntah brp ketul je with plastic glove. Just that for RM10.60. I would put the price for that package for at least RM5. Bagus lagi bagi kura2 Farm in the City makan kangkung sampai buncit. But since Ee enjoyed that part of the trip most –  I was torn on whether the package was worth it after all.

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We handed over the paper to the reception and hey ho – we got a quality keychain each. Takyah susah2 beli souvenir. Unless you want to get extra for your family and friends.

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It was an educational afternoon for both of us. I just wished that the ladies at the reception and at the turnstile gate be more charming or at least smile. Like the girl at the petting zone tu ke. Diorang sangat masam ok. Like helloo.. you are working in a place that caters to kids and family. They should learn something from the Farm in the City folks. Yang kerja kat Zoo Melaka and Legoland pun happier. Blom lagi yg kerja kat Everland Korea. Mampu nak pusing2 tangan cakap Hi?

Putting that aside, it was still a fun and expensive entertaining trip. I’m already scanning my calendar for our next Mother-Son date. Perhaps Mamee Factory at Jonker Street?

 

 

A poll to call..

Posted in All in a days work, Everyday Life by

The dreaded last call of the month is over and I couldn’t be happier although the cycle will probably start again in 1 week time. Recently there have been proposals to add on another form of oncall on the roster. Initially I was one of those who strongly agreed to it but now have changed my mind. Because that would mean another extra 4  – 5 calls.

Which translates into my son whining of how his mom comes back home late at night or the next day as opposed to his aunt who is home at night everyday. Which also means solo drive to work in mid morning upon being summoned to come to work. Only to of course continue the normal work shift the next day. While Mr Husband could still cope with his studies and my reckless inevitable routine – I feel bad because I’m supposed to be that stability, that fixed variable in his life so he would not have to worry about minding Ee nor of this wife commuting 27km to and fro to work everyday.

In response to the said proposal, a poll was created. The results came out as a tie. Which was not helpful. The demand of the service however is not something one could easily sweep under the rug. Because in the end the ones who benefit are ourselves and of course, the patients. Either way I have to be prepared to make unpopular decisions. Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do.. but coming from a workaholic who has to consciously make an effort to make my family my first priority – any decision is a huge step to making them matter. And a sacrifice on my part.

You are not a tree, MOVE!