Category Archives: Parenting, Family and Relationships

Matrimony of MatinxHannan

Posted in Everyday Life, Parenting, Family and Relationships by

My youngest brother, Matin is officially married. The akad was done at Ayer Hitam with only the closest family members present in the hall. We are not a big family. Our core is made up of only four siblings with 2 of us already married with kids. So that kind of helped with the numbers. Our relatives are in Kuching. So, travelling cost is an issue. It would have been easier if I was a billionaire to fly them all out but I’m obviously not.

As an older sister, I naturally have concerns about how my brother is going to lead, feed and build his family. However, he is an adult and I’m sure he’d have to sort life out on his own and his significant other. I mean we have all been there at the start of a marriage, not knowing what to do and all. We all find our way. As a sibling, all we have to do is be there for support and guidance.

My father, brother and sister stayed at a homestay near the wedding hall. I on the other hand travelled from Melaka that same morning. Then, we had breakfast at the same homestay before going to the hall as a small entourage to witness the union.

I really like the couple’s outfit here. They look great. Matin’s hantaran for Hannan was a tower of Cadbury chocolates, cupcakes, a pair of shoes, a cute handbag and a beauty set. Matin received a few ‘man’ things in return. The hantaran was curated by my creative brother-in-law.

The reception on our part will be in the next two weeks. That will be the time when we get really busy. I need to get some extra stuff for our relatives who will be coming all the way from Kuching. At the same time, I need to make sure my assignments are submitted on the dot.

Congratulations, my brother. Welcome to the family Hannan.

I am that Ibu Murid

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The new school year started in March and it was going to be a physical full school session. Timetables were sent out to parents for the new semester, but something was amiss. The school ended too late on Wednesday and Thursday – at 145pm.

Initially, I thought of giving this new timetable a try although I know that it would be challenging to rush it all within the lunch hour. What more for my son and niece to make it in time for their Sekolah agama in the afternoon at 230pm. I had to do something about this but before anything, I have to prepare myself.

Check the school session times for other schools

I clarified with my friends regarding their kid’s school time. I needed to see if this is a standard going home time for all schools within the state. I asked for their children’s timetables to compare and even sought from those who live in different states. Turns out that most schools are able to finish their school session earlier which made me wonder ‘how is it possible?”. It gets more interesting to see more high performing schools being able to complete their school session earlier every day.

Academic week

I came across this policy where schools are given the autonomy to decide on their academic weeks while fulfilling the minimum hours for their subjects to complete for the year. I learned that schools can choose a minimum of 36 academic weeks per year. Having said that, I was certain in my mind that even with a min of 36 weeks, the subject hours could be covered automatically.

So I would need to ask the headmaster if there was a change in academic weeks which led to a change in the school timetable. Turns out there was no change in academic weeks. So, why is the timetable longer? What changed?

Longer recess hours from 20 mins to 30 mins. Later school starting times.

Writing the email

The purpose of the email was to make it a formal, documented complaint. which would require a formal seat-in where both receiver and the person who makes the complaint have time to prepare for the session. The headmaster did say that I could just knock on his door and talk, instead of sending the email to the district education office. I feel that it would cost me at least two trips to get it sorted and ‘leave’ is a luxury nowadays. d

The headmaster called me and arranged a meeting. During the session, the headmaster appears quite defensive but a few hours later, after discussion with ‘the others’, he was able to come up with a better conclusion than the earlier one. Recess was shortened to 25 mins. The school session starts earlier by 10 mins.

I was pleased with the outcome and sent another email – this time to make it known that he’s done a good job and hope that it would boost his morale to continue doing the best for the school. To be honest, he was running the school by the book and needed just the right input and influence to assimilate policy and real-life situations.

This experience in a way made me wonder if I should be a more proactive member of the PTA association. If in the near future, there will be a greater room for improvement for not only my kids, and my nieces but also for other kids in general.

Get the kids in bed early

Posted in Parenting, Family and Relationships, Ponderings & Personal Development by

If there is one tip I could give to mothers in improving their physical and mental well-being is that – try to get your kids in bed early.

Mothers always yearn for ME TIME. The meaning differs from one mother to another but the concept is the same – having time for yourself. It can mean getting your beauty touch-ups done, time to enjoy a movie, shopping, studying or worship. It could be taking a rest from the rest of the family to just do nothing and get some quality sleep. If you have an understanding partner, they will learn to give you that time even without you asking for it. Otherwise, it will be up to us to make it happen.

If my husband is around, he would usually give me My Time on Friday afternoons – the long break between office hours or certain hours over the weekend when he brings the kids to play with their cousins at the grandparent’s house (5 mins away).

My Me Time means I could focus on my part-time studies, eat in peace and just enjoy simple things that bring me joy. I do not have a specific day for it and it usually happens at random times of the week. But one thing I am sure of is that I try to make my nights free from the kids. Which is why I turn them in early. For now, early means before 10pm. But they rarely go past 930pm unless there is a special occasion. For example, takbir raya, big family activities etc. Most of the time, especially on school nights, the house is quiet by 9pm. Leaving me to attend to my own matters such as studying, cleaning the house, doing laundry, soaking in a bathtub, extra TLC to the skin and all. Of course, I am also tempted to turn in early which I usually do anyway.

So, how does it work? Don’t the kids rebel against sleeping early? So far, not much drama. They are manageable.

I finish work by 5 pm and after fetching the kids from daycare and religious school, I would usually be able to reach home by 6PM. Latest, by 615pm. I would prepare a simple dinner. Sometimes, my MIL would give us a tiffin meal if she cooks extra. In the meantime, the kids will respectively take their own evening showers, turn on the air conditioner for the bedroom and resort to their own activities until it is time to eat.

My eldest son would use the time to complete his homework. My younger daughter would either sit with him at the table doing her ‘homework’ scribbling something, read a picture book or play with her toys. I don’t allow them to watch Tv or play games on the mobile phone on a school night. So, once my son is done with his homework, he would usually read a comic book or assemble his lego. It’s a different scenario when their father is home. He is pretty liberal with TV time but that only happens on a Thursday night when he is back for his weekly visit. He is working in a different state. In other words, I oversee the kids more on their academic days.

Taking the husband out of the picture, we usually have our dinner by 7pm. Followed by Maghrib prayer and then with whatever that the kids want to do. By 8 till 830pm, I’d already been reminding them to keep their toys away and for the son, to pack his bag for tomorrow’s class. The kids would then have their milk – a mug for my son and a bottle for the girl. I have restarted my son on taking milk properly as I find that he has problems with his teeth. It is gradual with the plaque and loosening but I don’t really want all of them to fall off. He needs the calcium for his teeth and bones. Lights are off once they finished their milk and that is when my Me Time starts.

How do you allocate your Me Time?

Mothering up

Posted in Parenting, Family and Relationships by

We always talk about child and adolescent development but Erikson kind of made it clear that human beings grow and develop themselves their whole lives. Recently, my youngest daughter asked me if I have any more babies in my tummy because she wanted to become a big sister. I told her I don’t have any more babies and that she could always become a bigger sister to her baby cousins. It was at that moment, that it became clear to me that yes, I have made a conscious decision to complete my family.

Having said that, it would mean shifting my focus toward raising a son who is already in his early adolescence year and my daughter who is in preschool. Thus, it would be wise to let go of all the baby stuff and revamp the house environment to support the development of my kids into personalities that will bring them further in life.

As of now, this will be a mental note.

  • I am currently too exhausted to do spring cleaning during Ramadhan but I guess I am ready to say goodbye to all the strollers, baby carriers, soft toys, baby books, baby Tupperware and all. so, there will be mass decluttering later after Raya and I have lots of candidates at my workplace, those who are still building a family who might want these things for their children.
  • I would need to be more active in not only their studies but also their emotional well-being, especially my son who will at one point undergo puberty. The recent experience of forwarding my complaint to the school’s headmaster kind of mustered my courage to do more for not only my kids and my nieces but also for their friends.
  • Planning ahead a direction for their future. Money. Type of school. Something that spells out ambition.
  • character consolidation. kids should turn out better than the parents. better than me.

Thinking about this is making me tired already. *yawn*

PICKids Malaysia coming to an end

Posted in Everyday Life, Parenting, Family and Relationships by

The nation’s Covid-19 vaccination programme is coming to an end. I am not sure what the numbers are at the moment – I don’t really know how many parents choose to vaccinate their children but I daresay that my state has achieved its target. I’ve had my firstborn vaccinated but my daughter hasn’t got her jab yet as she doesn’t fulfil the vaccination criteria for kids.

Once PICKids end in Mid-May, those who wish to vaccinate their kids will need to get it at a private clinic with a fee as it is no longer funded by the Ministry of Health. My daughter would most likely get a Pfizer or Sinovac later. It doesn’t really matter to me as long as she is protected in one way or another. As for my son, he was OK after the jab. No fever. Just minor arm pain. Kind of had the experience recorded and uploaded on YT.

We are in the ‘transition to endemic’ phase and already we are swamped with the pre-COvid KPIs etc. So, in a way, we really need to get our focus back on preventing diabetes, hypertension, and heart diseases. We need to divert our effort better to our antenatal care, our adolescents and whatnot. We need to get back to our TB screening, STDs, methadone clients and dengue risks.

We need to get into the new normal soon.