Tag Archives: marriage

Art of War?

Posted in Everyday Life by

“Whenever you are confronted with an opponent. Conquer him with love.” 
― Mahatma Gandhi

It is inevitable to have a lover’s fight in marriage. Sometimes over something big, the rest over petty issues – like farting under the covers.

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When I was in medical school, I came across this particular great couple. They are now happily married and blessed with a son. During that time, they have known each other for nearly 8 years. Yup, their love story started in secondary school.

What inspired me from their relationship  is how they fight. The art of their quarrel is so beautiful if I may say that to the unknowing, wouldn’t have known that World War 2 was on the brink of becoming World War 3. Such was the stealth of the matter that I felt compelled to do likewise in my marriage.

Despite the burning rage within them, they’d still hold each others hand while walking. The girl would still bring her guy drinks and the guy would still open the door for her. The give-away would probably be in their conversation as it would be limited to only the present moment. Sort of like,

“ketchup?”

“no”

And once the anger has cooled down, soon enough everything is back to normal and reasons of being angry towards each other in the first place can be discussed in a much pleasant mood.

Gandhi sure has a point.

Love,

th_coffee

YASMIN MUSTA

An advice to Suri

Posted in Good Things by

 “Love is everything it’s cracked up to be … It really is worth fighting  for, being brave for, risking everything for.”

— Erica Jong

Im no Oprah. But I dispensed 2 precious advice (off prescription) on marriage and having kids to one of my colleagues, Suri at work yesterday.

  1. Have your honeymoon. Make time for a honeymoon. Go somewhere memorable. Do something nice together, alone. After all.. you’re getting married in MO-ship. You get to have longer time off work. Dont be like me, I already have a baby and I havent even gone for my honeymoon.
  2. Your sleep-deprived moments start not when the baby comes out, its the 3rd trimester. Then, its there to stay for life. Until you get time for yourself – a holiday, a spa moment et cetera.

Our simple date night

Posted in Good Things by

“The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself”
Voltaire

Its not easy to get a one on one time with Mr Husband considering that we’re both doctors with busy schedule. On top of that we have Baby Zeeq who needs an equally quality time from both of us as well.

So this weekend came as a blessing when we’re both not on call . We took the opportunity to drive up to Saujana and brought Baby Zeeq to see his grandparents. Then, as the saying goes..  killing two birds with one stone.. we both went out for our rare date night as Baby Zeeq spends some time with his tok dedi and nek mami.

We went for a movie, had brunch at SUBWAYS, shop for shoes!!! Part beli kasut yah best kerana laki aku sponsorrrrrrrrrrr.. I like. Plus, it was a pair of sandals that he chose himself. He had always criticise my choice of footwear so he might as well get one which kononnya suits me himself. huahauhua..

Hmph.. duak hari jak pun jadilah… it was a break that we both needed before its work again next week.

The curious case of her

Posted in Everyday Life by

“The best way to predict the future is to invent it.” -Theodore Hook

Mr Husband narrated his cousins story to me today. A marriage of 9 years, to be dissolved sometime in the future because the wife asked for a divorce. Reason being she wants to marry her boyfriend. ON top of that she has no plans to fight for her childrens custody either. It immediately set my brain to a series of questions

What was the wife thinking?

Is the boyfriend really worth it for a holy matrimony to be dissolved?

After 9 years, did she not have an ounce of love for her children?

Her boyfriend was  a married man himself with children. It would require an epic reason for these two lovebirds to be together. It has to be justified to its best for all I see now are just two rotten and selfish souls leaving their family out of lust.

I believe there are 2 sides to every story. What is their story, I wonder?

Two lessons

Posted in Parenting, Family and Relationships by

 “Let him know you’re happy: I smile whenever I see him. He always knows how thrilled I am that he’s there with me.”

Melanie Griffith, married to Antonio Banderas:

 

I learnt two things about being a wife that no books or people ever told me – in a way that I could accept.

 

 

My first lesson was when I attended a wedding invitation last two weeks. Being a very simple person with lack of interest in being fashionable, I decided to just don on a plain grey blouse matching my also plain grey long skirt with a plain black hijab. My hands were free from jewellery and I had NIL makeup on. Not even a light foundation or a lipstick. Mind you, this is to a typical Malay walimatulurus where people would dress to their nines and be merry.

I was simply taking the easy way out, forgetting that I am now a wife and a mother. Consequently, at the wedding almost everyone especially the older generations had thought that I was an Indonesian maid babysitting for my lady boss. It was awkward and  at that moment realised that I have done injustice to my husband. That I might have brought on a bit of shame towards him. The way I carried myself that day could have made him look like a husband who wasnt able to provide his wife good clothes and jewellery. When in fact, he has bought me the finest of all outfits, fashionable ones to match the pearls and gold he too picked for me.

Hence I learnt that yes, eventhough Islam prohibits us from berhias utk orang lain selain suami but the least I could do when presenting myself to the world is not like an Indonesian maid.

My second lesson was something closer to the heart. I believe that once you’ve sealed the deal in marriage, we must be willing to make changes that could benefit both parties. Improvements towards the a better household and marriage.

Mr Husband made two sounding statements at the early age of our marriage. That he,

doesnt mind if I cant cook

and

he can iron his own shirts and pants to work

Now that we’ve aged a bit, it came to my own inkling that sooner or later he is going to mind that Im not able to cook up asam pedas a s good as his mom and that he’d want me to iron his shirts to work.

Yes, we must be flexible to want to change/improve. and that was my 2nd lesson.

And I suppose theres more to learn..